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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Guy giving me the ick

69 replies

Sapphiresunrise · 26/03/2020 14:19

We have only had one date (before lockdown came into place and everything closed), and it went well.
We had said we would meet up again once the situation is over/improves, but i'm not sure i'm feeling it.

He called his cat a 'mong' and just uses such laddish sayings like "absolute weapons people on that reality show", everything is 'absolute'.

Checked his Instagram and there's a photo of him giving blood which is a wonderful thing to do, but it's a bit like he's having to show everyone he's done it, plus he brought it up almost asap in our conversation. Also photos of him in various poses during a hike, you can just tell he's asked someone to take lots of 'natural' looking photos.

He also doesn't seem to be taking the current crisis very seriously which is worrying. I told him about the idiots who were still meeting up in groups and he said "I think i'm gonna be one of those idiots and go and steal my Dad's lawn mower".

He then asked me the other day "How come you are self-isolating ?"
Oh I don't know, just fancied it really..

Then, he was saying he really needed to 'get out and do something tomorrow night', seemingly oblivious to the point of this lockdown.

We had a good laugh on the date and he seemed to have a good sense of humour. However the other day I was telling him about funny conspiracy theories I had read online (lizard people for example), you could tell he was judging me and not finding them funny at all.

Some of his texts now are just moody and to the point, and I fully understand how difficult the current situation is. But i'd rather not converse with someone if they are going to be like that.

Also at the end of the date, he had some sort of white residue coating his lips..

On the date we did have a really good laugh and got on well. But there's something i'm unsure about. That said I wonder if I am just being fussy because I was attracted to him on our date, does this all sound off-putting or would you see him again ?

I hope this doesn't come across as nasty, I am a bit fussy and probably why i'm always single !

OP posts:
WhereDidAllTheFunGo · 26/03/2020 14:25

It just doesnt sound like hes for you, OP. Sounds like its over before it began. He might be nice, but there doesnt seem to be a spark.

White residue, yuck! Sounds like he was dehydrated / too much boozing.
The fact hes thick and self absorbed over CV is off putting.
Cut him loose and stop fretting over it. Next!

Sapphiresunrise · 26/03/2020 14:28

Yeah you are right, there's no point bothering if i'm feeling like this after one date !
Yeah, I remember in our first conversation online I asked him if he was doing much that evening. He said no, I gave blood today so I can't drink, so i'm staying in.
Sad that people think you cannot have any form of evening out without alcohol 🙄

Yeah exactly.. Not a good sign..
I just sent a polite text with no questions as my last one. If he asks to meet up again i'll just say there is no spark.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 26/03/2020 14:30

Also at the end of the date, he had some sort of white residue coating his lips..

Hard no from me.

Sapphiresunrise · 26/03/2020 14:31

Is it a sign of too much drinking ? It was literally lining his entire lips 😐

OP posts:
Hirsutefirs · 26/03/2020 14:37

You should have got a photo of the residue.

Sapphiresunrise · 26/03/2020 14:52

I'd rather not 😂

OP posts:
category12 · 26/03/2020 15:16

You don't like a lot about him. Just drop it. He sounds a bit of a pillock, what's the point?

JustSplendid · 26/03/2020 15:19

He's given me the ick and I've never even seen him 😅

Lifeaback · 26/03/2020 15:19

In my experience, the second you’ve caught the ick there’s no coming back from it. You’ve cited plenty more reasons here than I’ve had when I’ve caught it before!

Definitely sounds like he’s not for you so no point continuing to entertain him

CodenameVillanelle · 26/03/2020 15:19

He sounds like a div. why waste your time?

Sapphiresunrise · 26/03/2020 15:26

You are right, no point at all !
Hopefully won't hear from him again.
On another note, the guy who cheated on me, the girl he cheated with has updated their relationship Facebook status to 'it's complicated'.. Karma ! Also, who still does that past the age of 12 🙄

OP posts:
Duckduckgosling · 26/03/2020 17:50

Sorry to jump on your post but I've also been dating someone, really liking him but he also has this white lip thing going on! What the hell is that all about?!

FizzyGreenWater · 26/03/2020 18:22

I can't believe you even typed all that out to muse over whether you should choose to start spending more time on a stranger you don't particularly like who quite frankly sounds a bit of an arse!

Yuk. Really no.

EverydayLife · 26/03/2020 18:24

You won’t be able to see him for months anyway. What’s the point?

Candyfloss99 · 26/03/2020 18:25

The white lips would have made it a firm no from me.

Aloe6 · 26/03/2020 18:30

You’ve only had one date with him. He doesn’t deserve this amount of hand wringing. I recommend dating several people at once to stop you over investing like this.

Aloe6 · 26/03/2020 18:31

Sorry if my reply seems a bit snippy - not intended and wish you well in the dating world!

mamato3lads · 26/03/2020 19:10

Hmm the posed instagram shots and overuse of the word "absolute" reveals him to be a bit of a knob. You know this or you wouldn't be posting OP.

He's giving you the ick, doesn't get your sense of humour...(not even starting on the white residue....omg) Confused, he's all round wrong. I'd move on sharpish.

Sapphiresunrise · 26/03/2020 19:33

Thanks for all the replies !
Someone earlier suggested the white lip stuff could be due to dehydration/heavy alcohol intake, who kbows !

I am really hoping that this won't last several months !
But yeah absolutely as PP said there's no point overthinking it, it's one date :)

OP posts:
Sapphiresunrise · 26/03/2020 19:33

People's reaction to the white residue is making me laugh 😂

OP posts:
Nothing2doooooo · 26/03/2020 20:05

Social media is a bit of a poser's world, in my opinion. He's just doing what most SM people do. Of course there are a few exceptions.

He sounds like a typical lad - that alone would've been a deal breaker.

Sounds like a lot bothers you about him, and that's your answer OP. No need to wonder.

Sapphiresunrise · 26/03/2020 20:08

I guess i've come to realise i'm not really into the laddish types.
My ex was very easy going, funny, chatty etc. But there was nothing at all laddish about him. He didn't even like football ! I guess i'm looking more for that, but finding it hard.

OP posts:
Nothing2doooooo · 26/03/2020 20:11

Keep looking, you'll find. Don't settle Flowers

Sapphiresunrise · 26/03/2020 20:16

Thank you 😊

OP posts:
mamato3lads · 26/03/2020 21:39

@Sapphiresunrise we are reacting that way because it's seriously rank. White fucking residue?? 🤢🤢

It would have been done for me as soon as I noticed that, could be the perfect man for me in every way possible but if he had white residue around his lips I'd throw up in my mouth.

Lucky escape Grin