Don't live together, when will we see each other

[Windywuss]

I've been with my boyfriend/dp for about year and half. He lives an hour away.

Can't get my head around not knowing when I'll see him again. What are others doing? Feeling really tearful. Already haven't seen him for 2 weeks. I miss him.

@MadamePewter I'm sorry. That's tough. I can understand how you feel. My boyfriend doesn't seem to miss me either but again think we just have different ways of handling stuff. I'm trying not to take it to heart but have struggled.

@Windywuss I’ve taken it to heart but am knackered and very sorry for myself and the world too 😃 I need to get a grip

@MadamePewter it's OK. You can have a wobbly. You are allowed. I had a big fat ugly cry yesterday (and this morning). Let it pass. You're OK. All just got to hang in there. Hoping I discover my bf has missed me when I see him eventually. It's already been 3 weeks since I've seen him almost because of other life stuff. Doesn't feel like I have a relationship at all just now

Hang on if you don't live with your DP how is going to see them putting anyone at risk anymore than if you lived with each other? You are getting in a car driving over then seeing them. If both of you work from home and live alone how is that a problem?

@washedoutlady If you lived alone and hadn’t been out at all for 2 week it would be ok I guess. But you could pick it up popping to a shop.

@MadamePewter It's definitely ok to have a wobbly. I cried my eyes out saying goodbye to my boyfriend last week, and had a big ugly cry yesterday. I do know my boyfriend will miss me as he told me so. He didn't seem upset in person which I felt a bit sad about, but that's just him, he very rarely cries
@Windywuss I hope you find that your bf has missed you
@Washedoutlady that has been explained a few times on this thread, its about reducing the risk as much as you possibly can, especially if both people are still leaving their homes to go food shopping

My bf is certain it will be ok for him to pop round, he lives within walking distance, but I have said no, I'm following the government advice to the letter. He's really really upset about it. My life's hectic, trying and busy (single mum to DC with SEN, trying to homework and homeschool) and so I'm not as bothered about it as he is at this moment. I guess it's further down my priorities. Plus I'm so tired I just want to sleep....

Jesus wept. If your relationships can't be maintained through a lockdown then they won't go the distance anyway. If your other half doesn't seem to miss you, ditch them for heavens sake. You can do better!

I have just started seeing someone. He lives an hour away and looks after his vulnerable mum who lives round the corner from him. I have health issues so I am at risk. So we arent seeing each other. It's a simple as that.

If our fledgling relationship can't work due to being apart then it would never have worked anyway. Maybe it helps that he lived through SARS in Hong Kong for two years, but all I have had from him for two days are instructions to disinfect stuff and that I absolutely can't go out for 12 weeks. Because he bloody cares enough that I am alive at the end of this. And my DD. And his mum.

Any bloke who doesn't get this needs dumping rapidly. They are clearly either thick or stubborn to the point of stupidity. Why the hell would you want to be with someone like that? Someone who loves you will be gutted but wanting to stay the fuck away from you to keep you well!

@SirChing sensitive and caring post ..!

My relationship is not fledgling hence my upset. And yes, it’s made me think. But it’s really not kind to be so dismissive of other people’s relationships and worries.

@MadamePewter I'm sorry, it wasn't meant to be dismissive. What I actually felt was flabbergasted that so many of you aren't being treated as well as you deserve to be. I am amazed that so many men think it's ok to either be indifferent at being apart, or to put pressure on to see them. Its just mindblowingly selfish. And you all sound lovely and worth so much more than these unappreciative idiots

I shall make sure I choose my words more carefully next time as I can see how my outrage on the behalf of posters could be read as outrage AT posters. I'm really sorry, that wasn't my feeling or intention at all.

@SirChing oh, sorry- told you I was tired and over sensitive 😂

@SirChing
Yes, it's certainly making me think again about where this relationship might be going. BF will not listen at all. He's convinced the current approach by the government is ill advised (I totally disagree with him) and keeps going on about civil liberties and our freedom being taken away from us ffs 🤦‍♀️
He said freedom is the most important thing I said no, being alive is...... honestly I haven't got the energy for him right now....

Now I’m sure he misses me to some degree but he will miss his children a lot lot more and that’s totally ok with me 🤷🏼‍♀️ . Also his parents , siblings and friends of 30 years.

@Bluewater1 Agree and protecting your child comes first

I’m really struggling with this and with dp’s terminally ill family member, it could literally be months before we see each other again.

It’s my birthday and we were supposed to be going away somewhere really special, the nicest thing anyone has ever organised for me. Instead I’ve cancelled my leave and will be working the night shift. Thankful I have a job but 😔

@Foreverlexicon so sorry that's gutting, it's totally ok to be upset. I'd be gutted 😞. I can't see my boyfriend right now, it's awful I've been I tears over it, and I'm facing a few weeks not as long as you. The birthday thing I'd be gutted about too. I hope this blows over quickly x

Morning all. How are we feeling today. I was a bit withdrawn with my Bf yesterday. I do care and miss him but I can withdraw into myself when stressed. I think we will all have good and bad days through this enforced separation.

We will certainly get to know each other and how we deal with stressful situations!

3 weeks could easily become 3 months. Not good.

Well he didn't even ring last night. Had a text to say he'd try. I feel like the least important thing. I could barely bring myself to reply. It hurts.

I think there will be relationships which survive this and ones which don’t. And in truth only time will tell. But at least for the ones that don’t people will already be at a distance so it won’t be quite as brutal as someone literally walking out of your life. (I speak from experience).

From my own perspective I have been with my DP for seven years. But due to logistics re his job and my DC we don’t live together, in fact we live 120 miles apart. We already haven’t seen each other for two weeks as I am in an at-risk category and him travelling to me means using public transport so we stayed apart for then.

Now more stringent rules have been applied and I will be required to practice more extreme social distancing for the next twelve weeks so actually we don’t know when we will see each other again.

Apart from my teenager I am here alone as my family also live fairly far away.

But on the positive side, we have internet/mobile phone/text message etc all of which didn’t really exist until relatively recently and couples did stay together through distancing because of work, war etc.

I think you’re right @AlternativePerspective. We shall see.

@Windywuss that sounds pants. But from reading what others are saying on here it’s maybe just a difference in approach?

Well, I can tell my bf is a bit annoyed that I won't drive up to see him this weekend. I told him I'm staying put. As I said, he's someone staying in his house also at the moment who is out working,... he told me this person was only in contact with 2 others yesterday. I told him that's not the point. He's kind of pushing to come to my place.

Joining the crew, need support. My boyfriend of 3.5 years has stayed with me and my DC (I am a single mum) for roughly 5 nights a week, with occasionally popping to his home to pick up mail, sort out bins etc (he lives on his own).
Last night he said he was going to quick pop in to see two friends tonight, in London. One to return an item, another one for a quick chat.
I was upset over this, I said he is putting our health at risk and so I cannot see him for 2 weeks or so.

He was clearly annoyed, I think more for a reason that it seemed to him a control over him for who he can see or not?? Anyway he said ok to that, gave me a kiss and left seemingly without a worry and still a plan to see his friends.

Anyway it transpires now that the government advice is for couples to stay in separate households if not moved it.

Unfortunately there is no question of him moving in.

What looked like a strong relationship to me seemingly disintegrated within one evening.
He's an idiot and I think he will be happy to stay apart for weeks or months to come. This judging from his choice still to go and see his friends.

Just need a good cry.

Awh @oreoxoreo. I think many people just don't get it and are in denial. It's hurtful though. Big hug to you

Oreo I’m sorry you’ve had a fallout. Why is him moving in out the question? It sounds like he lives with you already anyway if he spends most of the week there.