Don't live together, when will we see each other

[Windywuss]

I've been with my boyfriend/dp for about year and half. He lives an hour away.

Can't get my head around not knowing when I'll see him again. What are others doing? Feeling really tearful. Already haven't seen him for 2 weeks. I miss him.

The difference between those who live together and those who don't is that those who live together don't have a choice at this point.
Unless totally self isolating then each of you will be coming into contact with others, be that infrequent essential food shopping or more.
Your contact with each other therefore increases your overall contact with the outside world.

The current guidance is that the least at risk age group, 0-69, should socially distance and in the summary table one of the things it specifically says is it is recommended to avoid visiting friends and families at home.

To me, that means if you don't live together you don't see each other.

And that's what I'm doing.

Ffs people social distancing isn't hard to understand. So while families are being torn apart and people are isolating from every single person they love and care about others are still dating blokes they aren't even committed to enough to live with. Seen so many of these posts on here and it's making me wonder why I'm sacrificing everything and doing what we should all be doing when others clearly arent. If it's that important temporarily move in with eachother. If not then suck it up like the rest of us are having to.

It’s tough for so many people at the moment. Please spare a thought for those of us who are long-term (unhappily) single with no chance of meeting someone for probably many months.

Yep I live on my own and I'mhappy enough being single however I'm so worried about my physical health and my mental health of being completely isolated but we have got to do it.
for you.

"others are still dating blokes they aren't even committed to enough to live with"

What a shitty comment. DP and I don't live together yet because of certain factors that prevent it, it's got fuck all to do with commitment.

Exactly @Qwerty543 . Such a stupid comment. Got nothing to do with commitment.

ALittleBitConfused1... Not really a fair comment. I've taken it slow. We both have kids. We don't live near but I still love and care for my boyfriend. I was just trying to talk about how I'm feeling. I think that's OK? It's relationships not aibu. I'm not trying to win a woe is me contest.

And @ThirtyAndASmidgen, I do. It's tough. I was single for 5 years after my ex by choice. It took ages to get the confidence to get out there and I will be gutted if my relationship goes tits up as I never thought I would be lucky enough to find anyone again.

I'm just kind of quietly letting my relationship drift for these reasons. My BF thinks he's invincible. He isn't out with BIG groups but he has not stayed housebound apart from work in the way I have. If he challenges me, we'll have to split up. If he understands, we might reunite at the end of this. He's been understanding so far.

My partner is a keyworker and I work for a NHS Doctor. We live apart. I've said goodbye for now not to the relationship but just to seeing each other. Can't make exceptions for this I'm
Afraid.

@ALittleBitConfused1 what a shitty comment. I have been nowhere except work for the last two weeks. I don't know if my bf and I can get through the distancing, would you have a bit of kindness? why are some people just so nasty.

@sociallydistained

My DD is away from home working at the moment. She usually divides her time between BF and us.
When she comes back I think we will have to give her a choice - Live with us and socially distance from BF, or vice versa. BF lives with his Dad who is a vulnerable group. However I can't see her 'distancing' from BF...

Completely a fair comment imo. Social distancing is what we've been told to do I'm doing this at risk to my career, my livelihood and my mental health. I'm not going out unless I absolutely have to and I'm avoiding contact with all of the people I love. Including my children, grandchildren, family and entire support network. I'm doing that because I'm trying to protect myself, my family and those in society that are vulnerable. Giving our NHS the best possible chance of fighting this thing. No amount of shitty responses are going to make me feel guilty for what I've said. If you're committed enough to risk the lives of your families and others temporarily move in together. If you arent or circumstances dont allow you to do that you'll have to find a way of continuing your relationship without seeing eachother. That's the life we are living at the moment. We all have to suck it up. End of.

I'm not nasty at all. Ive put mySelf at risk by delivering shopping on foot. Taking stuff out of my own supply to people who need it. I'm in no way nasty I'm just not putting my own wants before that of everyone elses. I'm taking my responsibility very seriously here. I get your concern and I understand its difficultcult and upsetting but in all honesty i 100 percent think that no relationship is worth risking the safety of others for. If yours cant withstand this then perhaps it's best it doesnt. Trying to make it diesnt give anyone the tight to sacrifice the safety of our society. No one will be changing my mind on that. It's not nasty or unkind it's the hard facts of our current new world.

This is why I posted what I did

My boyfriend lives in the US as he moved there for work for a couple of years. We see each other every ten weeks or so, usually for 10ish days at a time. It's hard, but absolutely worth it.

I last saw him on the 23rd of February.

I was due to go over at the beginning of April for our anniversary, then again at the end of May for his birthday. Now I literally don't know when I'll see him again.

British citizens are banned from flying to the US for no idea how long. He can't come here because he won't be allowed back in.

We've been doing this a year already, and I normally cope because we have a plan for when we'll see each other again. Now there's no plan and it could be months.

I believe in him and us, but damn I need a hug.

Social contact can take place between friends and family if you are both symptom free.

Obviously the guidance is changing daily and I expect new info to be released tomorrow but today I will be seeing my partner.

@Azandme 🤗🤗🤗

@ALittleBitConfused1 I don't think this is the thread you need to be upset with. I'm not saying I will see him. I'm not saying I will risk anyone. I am being responsible and others like @GenxfeellikeaBoomer are saying the same. We're just trying to support each other feeling wobbly about our circumstances.

I'm sorry you are having a hard time too. Of course everyone is for different reasons. As I said earlier I just wanted a space to say how I'm feeling. I'm not doing anything wrong.

Windywuss I normally see my bloke over the weekend but not during the week, we usually message through the week and call once or twice. The last couple of evenings we've video called and it's good just to be able to see each other. I'd suggest you do that if you think it might help.

Thanks @Windywuss

Thanks @Chasingsquirrels. I'll ask him.

@ALittleBitConfused1 i am one of the most careful people out there. Other less careful people are putting me at risk but i have to go to work, with colleagues who have wives and husbands at home, doubling the opportunity for the virus to get in to their house. we are not taking risks.

I don’t live with my boyfriend but still see him at my house .
Why is that any worse than seeing a boyfriend that lives with me ?