OLD help please. Guy told me he is bi, how to politely say I don't wish to continue?

[LoveintheTimeofCoronaa]

Hi all,

Could do with some help please!

I've been chatting to a bloke online, seems nice. He has just informed me he is bisexual 'in case it puts me off'.

Not sure I can fully explain why, even to myself as I have zero issues with anybody's sexuality but I would prefer not to continue this. We haven't met but I do want to be decent and give him a response.

I'm not looking to be called a homophobe as I assure you I am not. Just want to be tactful.

How would you express this politely??

Thanks!

She doesn't fancy men who fancy men! Why are you despairing at that? What is wrong with a woman not fancying someone?

"I don't date bi guys. You are absolutely better off finding a less prejudiced person who won't write you off based on whatever bullshit perceptions they are claiming are 'just preferences'."

At least that would be honest.

Newsflash : people do have prejudices about all kinds of things in life .

Never really thought about it but think I’d find it a turn off - think I’d be looking for a straight man.

@Olliephaunt4eyes yes!

OP, you haven't even met him, so I think you may be exaggerating your importance to him. Any message will do.

@anothernotherone no, I don’t think she should date anyone just becusee they are Male. Have I said that? No.

I wouldn't date someone who was certain religions. I wouldn't date someone old, skinny, short or blonde. I wouldn't date someone who used prostitutes or liked threesomes, or anal sex. And I wouldn't date a man who fancies men. Big deal. Women are actually allowed to have things that put them off, or turn them off.

What bullshit perceptions? He is bisexual. That is true, he told me himself. Nothing wrong in that at all. However it does put me off dating him. Not casting any aspersions on his or other bisexual mens' characters.

Another: Of course not, I was relying to a poster who was saying that OP’s sexuality is affected by his sexuality which is nonsense.

and HE HIMSELF realised that some women will not like it ...

Yes because she's straight with a preference for straight men. Why should she have to date someone who isn't straight? Do women have to meet diversity quotas now when it comes to sex or something?

*replying

So many people on here getting offended on behalf of this guy who obviously doesn't take offence himself

Having a preference for straight men is no more a sexuality than having a preference for white people.

Oh for Gods sake! It doesn't matter why she isnt attracted to him, if she doesn't want to date for whatever reason then she doesn't have to. If she didn't want to go out with him because he was overweight or religious or a Chelsea supporter would you all be calling her names then?

What's wrong with that Elsie? I've never met a black man that I've found attractive. Lovely blokes some of them but I'm not into them. I'm not much for blonde guys either for some reason. People can not want to have sex with someone for whatever reason they want. Doesn't mean they have s problem with bi sexual people, just that they aren't attracted to them. Or do you think that women should be forced to have sex with any guy who asks in the name of equality?

nofool

no, I don’t think she should date anyone just becusee they are Male. Have I said that? No.

That is more or less exactly what you said:

she was open to dating a guy. She got offered a guy to date. What boundaries does she need? I don't follow

Elsiebear90 your equating ‘belief and attraction’ as the same thing. They are totally different and it’s disingenuous of you to pretend they mean the same thing.

1. I believe that gay, trans, bi people are just the same as me and should be treated with respect.

2. I am not attracted to lesbians or bisexual people.

Two totally different entities.

I should NOT have to question my own sexuality and attraction to fit it with a different sexual orientation or beliefs

If you see that some one not wanting to sleep with someone due to their sexual orientation means you have a negative belief about that whole group of society - I feel sorry that your going to have a very frustrating life.

I am bi-sexual my partner is enough for me. Just because a person is bi-sexual does not mean that they will always be looking elsewhere or that their partners can't fulfil all of their needs 🤨 that is actually hugely offensive.

That said, if you aren't comfortable with that then you aren't comfortable. So it won't work, tell him that you don't want to string him along but your really not comfortable with the idea of being in a relationship with a bi-sexual man.

Nothing: That’s not a sexuality, that’s a preference. If OP posted saying she’s been dating a guy, really liked him, was attracted to him, but then she found out he’s mixed race and she doesn’t want to date him any more now she’s knows he’s not white British, and then people posted telling her “I also don’t date non white brits because “insert prejudice statement” would you be defending that? I absolutely believe women should only date people they want to date, but I also believe people posting negative blanket statements about bisexual people should be called out on that and you can’t justify such opinions and posts as “preferences”.

@Elsiebear90 and @Nofoolfornoone Please can you tell me whether it is sexist it homophobic to not be attracted to someone purely on the basis of their sex class?

Just curious to know what are acceptable grounds on which to discriminate between one's sexual partners and which are beyond the pale. Cheers.

Elsiebear so would I be transphobic if I didn’t want to sleep with a trans woman?

Once the bisexual man is dating a woman technically when they become exclusive he is no longer technically bisexual

• no. Just no

@Sunshinedaffodil why is someone suddenly unattractive to you once you find out they’re lesbian or bi? So you thought they were attractive, but you find out they’re attracted to women and men and now they’re unattractive? Please explain that to me.