OLD help please. Guy told me he is bi, how to politely say I don't wish to continue?

[LoveintheTimeofCoronaa]

Hi all,

Could do with some help please!

I've been chatting to a bloke online, seems nice. He has just informed me he is bisexual 'in case it puts me off'.

Not sure I can fully explain why, even to myself as I have zero issues with anybody's sexuality but I would prefer not to continue this. We haven't met but I do want to be decent and give him a response.

I'm not looking to be called a homophobe as I assure you I am not. Just want to be tactful.

How would you express this politely??

Thanks!

Nofoolfornoone nobody has to justify why they don't want a sexual relationship with someone to you or anyone.

“Thank you for telling me. It has made me feel uncomfortable and so I don’t wish to negatively influence your life with my small mind. I am going to take some time to open my mind, reflect, develop compassion and stop being ignorant. Your sexuality should not put any person off dating you. Be proud to be you. I wish I could be as proud to me me”

FFS ....all the time on here we read about women setting boundaries yet here she should be open to getting involved in something she doesn't want to? Wake up to real life !

SidsWife just as its none of your business that it puts her off.

Intimate and sexual relationships are purely personal and subjective. Nobody has to explain themselves as öong as everyone is a consenting adult and nobody is coerced.

How does his sexuality change her sexuality? If he’s a man, that doesn’t change whether he’s gay, bisexual or straight. Him being bisexual does not change OP’s heterosexuality as he is still a man and she is attracted to men.

Hi thanks for being up front. You're a lovely guy but I do have a preference for dating straight men. I'm really sorry that it wouldn't work out between us and I wish you all the best and whoever you end up with is very lucky. Best wishes X

Job done. Just be polite and direct. No need for bad feeling.

Once the bisexual man is dating a woman technically when they become exclusive he is no longer technically bisexual

Whaaaaaat? I’m a woman married to a man. Happily. I can assure you I’m still bi! You can’t just erase someone’s sexuality like that... I’m bi but in a committed relationship with a member of the opposite sex, not ‘technically straight’ 🙄🙄🙄

@thestuffedpenguin

She was open to dating a guy. She got offered a guy to date.

What boundaries does she need? I don’t follow.

He didn’t ask her for an open rel, he didnt ask her for a threesome, he didn’t ask her for anal.

Those are things to set boundaries on. He didn’t ask for any of that. He’s just a man asking out a woman. Wtf is the problem that he also finds men attractive

Nofoolfornoone do you know how ridiculous you sound?

Do you believe women should have to repent in sackcloth and ashes if they say no to a sexual relationship with someone you believe they should be sleeping with? Or if they say no at all?

I don't understand how who he slept with before you is even an issue...if he's in a committed relationship with you what does it matter?

I say that as someone who is dating a bisexual man.

@anothernotherone what are you talking about???

He didn’t ask her for sex. She’s decided not to even have a date as he is bi.

And it was being bi that made her decide that. So yes; she shouldn’t date him. But yes, she should work out why she has that attitude!

Elsiebear90 now you're saying that as she's attracted to men as a sex class she is prejudiced if she doesn't date this man? Is that what you're saying?

Straight women are not obliged to say yes to all straight men any more than gay men are obliged to say yes to all gay men - although some posters seem to be trying to change this!

If original poster had said

Been dating a bisexual guy and he’s just told me he wants me to engage in Something sexual that I am not comfortable with and I don’t feel comfortable so I want to end it. I would be saying, absolutely end it.

But that is not what we’re talking about

I wouldn't fancy a man who fancied men and i wouldn't enter into a sexual relationship with one. That's me, thats my preference and i am entitled to it, as are you op. Who cares what anyone else thinks?

Nofoolfornoone why do you believe she's obliged to go on a date with a man she isn't interested in a sexual relationship with?

Do you think it's homophobic that the OP doesn't want to sleep with other women? If not, why not? Isn't it homophobic that she's only turned off because of the other person's sex?

His sexual preferences are a turn off its not hard to understand. OP doesnt fancy men who fancy men, like them enjoy there company laugh love and care for them as friends but my vagina is a no go area for men who fancy men and the OP is free to make the same choice. I don't fancy men who sleep with prostitutes I don't fancy skinny men, highly groomed men, estate agents or lawyers I don't fancy men who are significantly younger than me I don't fancy gay men or bisexual men or transmen. You can't change who you fancy and telling women they are wrong to have choices or have to change their choices is wrong boundaries can be set wherever you want.

I would be saying, absolutely end it.

But that is not what we’re talking about

She doesn't want to date him!! Fucks sake what is wrong with some of you.

She’s decided not to even have a date as he is bi

and that is her right .It is as simple as that .

@anothernotherone I don’t think she’s obligated. But I think she needs to reflect on why she doesn’t want a sexual relationship with him just because he is bi

We were both looking for a romantic relationship. It may have been at the very, very early stages but if we were to progress then yes, sex would have been on the cards at some point. Hence, sexual preferences and boundaries come into play. I was evaluating this as a potential new relationship, not just one date.

But I think she needs to reflect on why she doesn’t want a sexual relationship with him just because he is bi

She doesn't need to reflect on shit and you are sounding seriously creepy.

@TheStuffedPenguin @GlitchStitch she shouldn’t date him if she doesn’t want to. I’m not suggesting she should. But the only reason she doesn’t want to Even go on a date him is that he’s bi. And that’s absolutely something the OP should reflect on because it’s based on prejudice

I despair

Nofoolfornoone seriously read your own posts back -

she was open to dating a guy. She got offered a guy to date. What boundaries does she need? I don't follow.

Seriously? She should go on a date with him because he belongs to the sex class she's attracted to - that's the only criteria women are allowed. Is she allowed an age range, a weight range, a preference for someone with similar interests, in your fantasy world, or must she give every man she's "offered" a go?