OLD help please. Guy told me he is bi, how to politely say I don't wish to continue?

[LoveintheTimeofCoronaa]

Hi all,

Could do with some help please!

I've been chatting to a bloke online, seems nice. He has just informed me he is bisexual 'in case it puts me off'.

Not sure I can fully explain why, even to myself as I have zero issues with anybody's sexuality but I would prefer not to continue this. We haven't met but I do want to be decent and give him a response.

I'm not looking to be called a homophobe as I assure you I am not. Just want to be tactful.

How would you express this politely??

Thanks!

Once the bisexual man is dating a woman technically when they become exclusive he is no longer technically bisexual

What the fuck

But she hasn't said anything negative about him. Just that she isnt interested in dating him.

Woke: we’re not talking about sex, we’re talking about sexuality. Only being attracted to heterosexuals is not a sexuality.

@Sunshinedaffodil he’s not trans though is he? This isn’t about his gender, it’s about his sexuality which has no bearing on her sexuality at all.

Nothing: I never said she did, I said other posters have, are you going to answer my question?

What I meant was, in my opinion it’s not about setting boundaries. Because you matched online with a guy you presumably found attracted on some level. And you chatted so there was some interest. Then he told you he was bi and you don’t want to date him. So you are going to tell him that.
Not becuss he said “I’m bi and I want xyz from my next relationship” and you don’t want to do “xyz”. In my opinion That is setting boundaries and sticking to them.

We all do have prejudice and when they are harmful or offensive it’s good to ask ourselves where that comes from.

I just very much struggle to understand why him being bisexual would ever effect the person he dates for it to an issue.

I am not saying you should date him. I’m not saying you should date any man just becusse they are a man. I’m not saying you should do anything sexual with anyone you are uncomfortable with. But you said yourself you couldn’t explAin why it was an issue, which is why I encourage you to take time to Think about why it’s an issue. Because I would be surprised if this is the only area in your life that it affects but you’ve not noticed or realised before.

Only being attracted to heterosexuals isnt a sexuality. 😂😂😂

Sweetie what grade are you in?

@nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut
Only being attracted to heterosexuals isnt a sexuality. 😂😂😂

Sweetie what grade are you in?

The irony of you asking that 🙄

Sorry I missed it. Yeah I would be defending that. I dont date non white guys. I'm not attracted to them so I dont date them. It's not anything I have against them, they just dont do it for me.

Someone suggesting she has issues in other areas of her life because she doesn't want to date a bisexual man LOL how ridiculous and rude to be honest. I don't want to and neither do some of my friends, do we all have issues too ?

Don't play therapist when you have no idea what you are talking about.

Nothing: I think you need to understand the difference between preferences and sexuality hun. You got a name for this so called sexuality?

@floral it’s not ridiculous. The under lying prejudice which makes you not want to date a bisexual man will likely mean in other areas of your life there will be issues regarding people’s sexuality

@Elsiebear90 You're going to need to go a bit deeper than that to explain why discrimination on the basis of sex is ok but sexuality is not.

It doesn't have to be a sexuality to be acceptable. You sound like you've just done your first ever diversity course. It doesn't matter whether it's a sexuality. No one is obliged to date any person they dont want to. No matter how long they've been talking. If she suddenly doesn't want to date him because she's found out he farts in bed that's fine too. No one needs to justify no longer being romantically interested in someone. No matter the reason.

Ok now that this has been said

I dont date non white guys. I'm not attracted to them so I dont date them. It's not anything I have against them, they just dont do it for me.

I can see this is not the thread for reasoned conversation.

@Sunshinedaffodil he’s not trans though is he? This isn’t about his gender, it’s about his sexuality which has no bearing on her sexuality at all

Yes it does. Her sexuality is that she doesn’t sleep with men who sleep with other men. Full stop. You seem to think you can follow people through the thread challenging them on the fact they would not want to sleep with some one of a different sexuality. The problem is YOURS. Have a look at yourself

There are lots of people on this thread who are bi and have come on to say it’s her choice, but your still stamping your feet and calling people biphobic.

Your in the wrong place love if you think you can force people to let down their sexual boundaries.

God you're 12, off school and bored shitless aren't you? I dont fancy horses. Theres no name for that either. You don't need to have a name for everything. You don't need to label yourself to justify who you want to sleep with. "Bi guys dont do it for me" is quite acceptable. You're not saying bi guys are scum are you? You just dont want to shag them.

@Nofoolfornoone Cool. Why is discrimination on the basis of race and/or sex OK but not sexuality?

it’s not ridiculous. The under lying prejudice which makes you not want to date a bisexual man will likely mean in other areas of your life there will be issues regarding people’s sexuality

😂😂😂 you have no idea of who my family is made up off. What rubbish!

Go on now you daft sod. Have you just finished uni?

woke: what reasons do you have that are not based on prejudice to discriminate against someone because they’re attracted to both genders? Genuine question, because I can’t see anyone giving any reasons on here other than ones steeped in prejudice which are being defending as “preferences” and “boundaries”. According to MN saying all bisexual people are cheaters and unsatisfied in relationships is acceptable as these are boundaries and preferences now? This must be a new definition.

“why is someone suddenly unattractive to you once you find out they’re lesbian or bi? So you thought they were attractive, but you find out they’re attracted to women and men and now they’re unattractive? Please explain that to me.“

Weird - been hearing this exact same argument when it comes to attraction/preference to transfolk.

The op is allowed her sexual preference. Mine is exactly the same as hers and I'm the biggest advocate for LGBT community.

Me too. I remember somebody put it beautifully on a similar thread years ago: 'my vagina is not an equal opportunities activity.'

You really can't help your preferences.

Elsiebear: what reasons do you have that are not based on prejudice for not being attracted to someone with a vagina/penis (delete as appropriate) or, perhaps more pertinently in this climate, someone who self-identifies as a man or a woman?

Is it possible that sexual attraction operates completely outwith our rational brains?

I can't quite get over some of these replies

I wouldn't want someone who had slept with 100's if women.

If a bloke told me he'd slept with 5000 women. I'd be totally turned off

Doesn't make me phobic of someone.

It would be a no for me if he'd slept with a man, because until the rules change, if I slept with him I would no longer be able to donate blood.