OLD help please. Guy told me he is bi, how to politely say I don't wish to continue?

[LoveintheTimeofCoronaa]

Hi all,

Could do with some help please!

I've been chatting to a bloke online, seems nice. He has just informed me he is bisexual 'in case it puts me off'.

Not sure I can fully explain why, even to myself as I have zero issues with anybody's sexuality but I would prefer not to continue this. We haven't met but I do want to be decent and give him a response.

I'm not looking to be called a homophobe as I assure you I am not. Just want to be tactful.

How would you express this politely??

Thanks!

@Nofoolfornoone

Oh stop twisting what was said! They've told her she's prejudiced and biphobic for not wanting to date him. It's the same thing. Don't turn it into a kindly "yes leave that poor man alone because you're biphobic". Honestly 🙄

Anal sex makes infections more likely. Find this out from any STD clinic.

That’s male and female anal sex btw.

Probably one reason it’s a taboo.

That said, some men are bi-sexual. But, like OP, I would find it a complete sexual turn off.

Just this

Spot on ygrette. The mental gymnastics people use!

That is the way I see it, Alternative Or to wildly paraphrase Voltaire (if it even was Voltaire who said this), I will robustly defend the right to be openly bisexual, but I can decline to date someone who is.

Read that ridiculous article, fool probably before you. Your political agenda clear. People who want to protect women from all the liberal shit flying, we just cottoned on a bit late! You fuck who you want and how, just don’t tell other women to suck it up in the name of competitive virtue signalling

which is all that “wokedom” is, btw

This is tedious. When did I tell any woman to have sex with anyone??? And when did I tell anyone to “Suck it up in the name of competitive virtue signalling”

Utterly utterly ridiculous.

No one said she absolutely should date this guy and have sex with him or else she’s prejudiced

Again, precisely this has been expressed throughout the thread.

Not coercion in the 'I will find you and shoot you if you do not date this man' sense, but certainly in the sense of stating that there is something wrong with me in not wanting to do so, being homophobic, biphobic, narrow minded, a cunt etc. This is peer pressure to do something I do not wish to do.

If you have been put off someone because they're bi then yes, you are a homophobe.You mightn't want to admit it to yourself, but you are, as you've been put off by someone's sexual identity.

Nah, yr not homophobe OP. You just don’t wanna have sex with someone with that sexual identity and those sexual tastes. Dickhead (interesting name) wants to label you homophobic for that. Oooohhhj the snide attempts at shaming continues ... !

The thought of my bloke sucking dick is a turn off. Just that. No navel gazing or self-reflecting required.

PS I used to go out with a trans man, briefly. Once I knew of his penchant, surprisingly I didn’t f as icy it. According to the woke, that’s transphobic?! What pathetic planet are these on?

fancy

Spot on motheringshites!

I am a bisexual woman and I would not want to date a bisexual man... it's just a turn off for me. Does that make me homophobic towards my own sexuality?

I obviously think anyone has a right to be bisexual but I don't have to date them.

The thought of my bloke sucking dick is a turn off. Just that. No navel gazing or self-reflecting required

Quite.

It isn't phobic

If you have been put off someone because they're bi then yes, you are a homophobe.You mightn't want to admit it to yourself, but you are, as you've been put off by someone's sexual identity

Nope. My body has physically rejected them, not my mind. And there's nothing I can or want to do about that!

You haven't even met him so it shouldn't be difficult to gradually tail off the chatting.

Urging the OP that 'reflection' and 'learning' would be an 'interesting' thing to do. So passive aggressive in tone. And so reminiscent of 'educate yourself', 'check yourself'.

Womens boundaries do not need to be re-considered or further debated once stated. To use an overused Mumsnet favourite, in this scenario, NO is a complete sentence.

No. Not wanting to be with someone because of their sexuality is not homophobic, just as not wanting to be with a trans person is not transphobic.

Objecting to someone using the same space as you, or feeling that they should have different rights, that is homophobic, or biphobic as it apparently is referred to.

By that definition any reason you choose not to sleep with someone would make you prejudice towards that person when that is categorically not the case.

Some people wouldn’t want a relationship with someone who has children, or someone who has a disability, and actually I’ve come across people with disabilities who wouldn’t want a relationship with someone who didn’t have a disability, or wouldn’t want a relationship with someone who had the same disability as them.

In all those instances people have their own reasons for feeling as they do, and that is their right. Nobody has to justify their reasoning.

Now if people were saying that a bisexual had no right to a relationship with anyone that would be different.

Equally, if a bisexual person is say, seeking a relationship with women and hasn’t declared they are also attracted to men, and in fact are pursuing one as the OP’s date stated, that is deceitful in its own right.

Some of these bisexual people need to understand it might not bi phobia stopping people dating them, it might be their self entitlement and general shitty attitude...

If you have been put off someone because they're bi then yes, you are a homophobe.

Ok.

Still don’t want to have sex with a man that’s had sex with a man though. 🤷🏻‍♀️

It’s actually upsetting to see how many people feel the need on here to justify themselves.
I’m a heterosexual who only wants to have sex with other heterosexuals.
I don’t want to fuck men who have fucked men.
It’s not hard.