NC for this because I'm kind of embarrassed and confused.
Some background: I'm 24 and DP is 30, we've been together for 5 years, lived together for 3, and he's the only person I've ever been with, my first everything. We're generally great, best friends, love each other more all the time, never had any major issues. Sex life is normally great.
We've been TTC 6 months now so this has started to take its toll on me mentally, the last 2 weeks I've been very anxious and upset but I have improved over the last few days and looking forward to trying again. However because of how I have been feeling, and life getting in the way, we haven't had sex for 3 weeks.
Today was going to be the day we got back to it, I started running my bath and we were kind of playing around, and kissing, cuddling, etc. I told him I wanted to wait until after my bath to have sex because I didn't feel clean. Bath finished, I get naked ready to get in and we get a bit carried away, he especially is very excited. Anyway, we end up start having sex and he says "oh you really do smell" and I remind him I did say I wanted my bath first. Annoying, but continue, he didn't say it in a nasty way just matter of fact, and to be fair I did. Then he said a few times about how "wide" and "loose" I am and kept commenting on that and how wet I was. I got really self conscious and stopped, I didn't really know what he meant by that but I just felt awful, it's not a nice thing to say, and I told him that, he apologies, I get in the bath.
Then some time later he comes in with a face on him and tells me that he's sorry for upsetting me, but I have to understand that "as a guy, when you're wide it makes me think that you haven't been faithful". You don't have to tell me how gross that is, in so many ways. I told him how upset I was and how stupid he is, he apologises more, and we've barely spoke since.
He came in the front room a while ago to ask me what was wrong, and upon finding I'm clearly still upset, he said that he can't say sorry anymore than he has and he can't cope with the tension, etc. And I just said yes I know you can't do anything about it now, but it doesn't mean I can't still be upset, that I feel disrespected and insulted. He stormed back off to the bedroom and I haven't heard him since.
I really don't know what to do about this. I don't know how to feel. This is the first time in our relationship I've felt like this, just like he doesn't respect me and won't take responsibility for what he's said, sorry just doesn't feel good enough. I know he's going to try to pretend as though nothing has happened soon, come in and cuddle me and I'll have to forget about it and get on with it, but I don't know if I can let it go. He's accused me of cheating on him, has shown his ignorance re female anatomy, has insulted my biology, made me feel self conscious, etc.
Am I overreacting? How can we move forward from this? Sorry this was so long, I didn't want to drip feed.