Ex "needs to talk to me later"

[ArtisanBreadBin]

And I feel so sick. Just after a bit of company.

I think music is what put me in the trough! We used to spend hours listening to it especially on a weekend, I've tried to cleanse my playlist but a load of things have made me reminisce today.

Thank you for your reply @Jammydodger1981. MN is such a help.

Ah sorry OP, how about something else which keeps your mind busy - a book, audiobook, makeup tutorial, language course online? I find those sorts of things useful when I get intrusive thoughts, and breaking the cycle gives me a break from it which usually lasts longer than the activity.

I think I'll do a bit of my blog. Lots to write about after this week at work!!

I do need to break the cycle, how do you stop your mind wandering back though? I can't concentrate long enough to read a book!

You can see a counsellor about absolutely anything! I highly recommend it.

In the meantime:
I would text him and say sorry but you are going out later so won't be in for his call and that you'll give him a ring sometime and leave it at that.

*>>>>>> AND THEN BLOCK HIM!!!

@FlowerArranger thank you. I'm following up so the call actually happened a couple of weeks ago.

How do I find a counsellor please

www.counselling-directory.org.uk/bacpcharity.html?gclid=Cj0KCQjw9tbzBRDVARIsAMBplx-g2RQddVznbTvqz5Bu3GL59O-alRRrqJRTKyKX4Jler_jMwz3348saAvoSEALw_wcB

Be prepared to interview a few till you find a counsellor with whom you feel comfortable.

In the meantime, do read that book. It's an easy read, but very insightful.

I’m sorry @ArtisanBreadBin I would bet his GF is pregnant and or they are engaged and he’s painted you as the physco ex (could she have been listening to the call) sounds very bizarre!

I have downloaded it!! Thank you for the link as well @FlowerArranger

@Washyourhandsyoufilthyanimal love the username... I don't think she is, as far as I understood, they're in a long distance love at first sight so he's only met her a few times.

I've not thought too much about the call recently tbh but the nice weather and the loneliness has made me very melancholy today.

One thing I did when I went non-contact with my ex the first time was stick a 3-month calendar on the wall (printed off from the internet).
I marked off 30, 60 and 90 days on it and on those days I chose a "treat" for myself. The 30 day treat was to buy myself a new jacket (saved a small amount of money each day towards it). The 60 day treat was a spa day and the 90 day treat was a trip out to somewhere 2 hours away which I'd wanted to visit for years. I then marked off each day of non-contact and worked towards my treats which I could only get if I didn't contact him. By the time the 60 days came around I couldn't give a shit about him anymore. The first days were hard though.
Try it - it might help!

This is brilliant.

@GilbertMarkham Thanks for re highlighting that. I need a chuff chart don't I.

@ArtisanBreadBin I’m sorry you’re feeling low, this is such a tough time and is bound to bring up other wounds.

In all honesty he doesn’t sound very nice. Try and be positive that you’ve had a lunch escape.

Lucky*

My money, if you genuinely can't think of anything you've done, is him lying and having to cover his arse with a new gf. Your situation sounds so much like me and my best friend when he had a super-possessive gf. It was painful, and ugly, and I put up with some genuine shit because of it. I should probably have told him to fuck off until he sorted it all out. You're well off out of it, be kind to yourself and forget he ever existed.