Ex "needs to talk to me later"

[ArtisanBreadBin]

And I feel so sick. Just after a bit of company.

His account is locked so it's not me who's restricted per se. Just generally restricted to anyone he doesn't accept.

Of course I wouldn't post his photos, I'm heartbroken but I'm not into sabotage!!

@BumbleBeee69 that's an interesting angle. I'm trying not to think about it. I do want him to be happy.

His new girlfriend is probably upset you're still messaging each other. Time to move on for everyone's sake.

"His personal life is unravelling... and he needs someone to blame...."

I really don't see how you get that from the ops posts. There's nothing to suggest that.

If OP is so upset this long after splitting to the point she wants counselling then she's probably not hiding her emotions as well as she thinks in her messages to him.

He's telling you not to get involved in his life now, probably thinks it sounds less harsh than "back off and stop texting me". You say he's a "cock" and "protecting his own interests"......who else will protect them if he doesn't.

You are hanging onto explicit photos of him and he's got reason to worry you'd actually share them?

You need to delete those pictures and block and delete his number/email etc and leave him alone now.

Are you restricted though?

Why did he need to speak to you to tell you that, and also need to arrange in advance to talk to you about that? He's just being a dramatic dick and wanted to make an impact on you. I have no doubt about that. I think he's very manipulative. Ignore and move on. The pain will subside eventually but you will have to sit it out.

@crustycrab just because he sent me explicit messages doesn't mean I've hung onto them. You've inferred a lot there yourself.

I very rarely message him de novo, usually only in response to his messages. I'm extremely conscious of setting appropriate boundaries and I discussed this with him when he told me about his new girlfriend.

@OhCaptain yes. I can't see his social media at all.

This is genuinely mad!

Why would he need to tell you that if you’re already restricted?

What did he actually say? I wonder if he thinks you’ve done something that you haven’t?!

Oh just block him and delete him. Such drama

Take control and block and deleter and unfollow him on everything. He won't be able to mess with your head so much then and you can start to move on. The longer you prolong it (replying to the odd message re "work" etc) the longer you'll torment yourself. Sorry OP, but I think you'd feel much better if you were in control and just got rid of his details. Next time he tries to initiate contact he won't get through and my suspicion is that he wants a backup unfortuantely.

Inferring based on likelihood.

Your posts are lacking in detail and why mention dick pics at all if you haven't kept them?

It's normal to struggle to get over heartbreak but you can control this easily by blocking him.

@OhCaptain I know. I'm quite puzzled. trying not to investigate because that's contrary to the cutting off advice...

@Lllot5 What can I say. I can't control the physiological reaction I've had to this life changing event. I have no one in my life to talk to. I have one alcoholic Parent and one terminally ill parent. I have my dog. I'm sorry if the drama has offended you.

You don't have to tell yourself you can never message him again. You're just not going to message this week.. no matter what. Then next week you aim for another week. And one day you will wake up and realise that you can message if you want, but you're really not at all bothered anymore.

@Butterymuffin thank you. That's excellent advice. Achievable timelines.

I’m not offended op but you absolutely can control it.
Men have died and worms have eaten them, but for love.

Yep. That's how it works, and at least you are very unlikely to bump into him.

Is there a reason you won't answer those asking exactly what he said?

There's nothing to "investigate" either. Maybe he's getting married or starting a family and wants to cut you off now but is trying to let you down gently? Either way, his life isn't your business anymore. You need to get yourself better and move on

Sounds like he’s done something wrong

Tbh we've only got one side of the story here

Yes, because this is a casual conversation not a criminal trial.

He said "what are you doing on insta" I said I was just running my account. He said "I don't know what you're up to but don't do anything stupid"

I reminded him I can't see his account. He said "much ado about nothing". Then he accused me of trying to control him. I pointed out the irony of the phone call.

That's about it. It was 4 minutes. He may have said "you've gone psycho on me", I asked what he was talking about & he said he wouldn't tell me bcse people like me do [something] with his words.

I genuinely can't see his account. I unfollowed him when he asked me to about 6 weeks ago (I'd already removed him from mine), that's it. I have no idea what I've "done".

But blocking & moving on are the way forward. I know this.

As I said drama about nothing .

Time to restrict yourself so he can’t see.

How weird

Sounds like he thinks you’ve been messing around on his account. Possibly with a fake one.

Time to block. Seriously.

Have you mentioned him on insta. Just block him on all your accounts and phone. Get rid of messages and photo of him. He is scared youll post sonething about him. Dont post anything about him ever.

Can you block and delete him? You responding to his messages, even taking his call, is pain-shopping. Nothing good will come of it.

Remember... no contact = no new hurts.

But I feel you also need to get more of a life. If you had more friends and hobbies and activities you enjoy, you would not have been so dependent on this man. You can't be truly happy in a relationship if you can't also be happy on your own.

Wow. Very odd. What's on your insta??