Ex "needs to talk to me later"

[ArtisanBreadBin]

And I feel so sick. Just after a bit of company.

He’s probably telling her that you’re trying to get him back and she’s standing in the background listening. He’s playing games. If you’re posting pics of yourself looking better and fitter, he’s using this to make her feel ‘lucky’ to have him. He’s just using you as a pawn in his game.

In the background listening, while he talks to you on the phone, that is.

They live in different countries but I see what you're getting at. I'm just sad to be accused of things tbh.

I've never posted anything about him on my insta.

Anyway, it's all moot now.

We've all been there OP. You can't stay friends, that's a myth.

Don't prolong the hurt - it's done, and you can only move on when you let him go A blunt and final cull is far kinder to you than baby steps, trust me.

I sound like a sad, washed up Miss Haversham. Fuck me. How did it get to this.

This is exactly how I felt after my last relationship broke up just over a year ago. I've only started feeling better in the last couple of months. The Miss Haversham feeling goes - I promise you.

Part of the reason I took longer to heal was because we were initially non-contact but he weaseled his way back in when my Dad died. Then we had quite a lot of contact but it started to get me down. I've gone non-contact again now and I feel so much better.
Block him on everything, including your phone. Don't look at facebook pages. He doesn't exist any more.

Maybe get someone else to look at your Instagram and tell you what they see. Fresh unbiased eyes. You might not think it's obvious but he does

He sounds like the mental one.

He wants you tortured and thinking about him.

Block him and have no further contact. He'll need to find someone else to externally break up with he's a psycho, run.

I was doing quite well, this has set me back a bit tbh and I am sad about the "being friends" being a myth. I just wanted to see him being happy and successful but I understand I can't do that now.

It just makes me sad, he had an awful childhood & I wanted to make him happy. I thought at least I could see someone else make him happy.

@ArtisanBreadBin - try making yourself happy - that's a much better option

Sounds like he's trying to cast you in the role of the crazy x.

He had an awful childhood.

But you had an alcoholic parent. So I'm guessing yours wasn't great either. But you're not threatening him.

Put your own happiness first. He will cope.

His happiness is not your responsibility. Your own happiness is. If he contacts you again, ignore it. Might be hard, but please do it for your own sake. You deserve to move on.

He’s probably telling her that you’re trying to get him back and she’s standing in the background listening

This, it's why the phone call didn't make any sense to you.

The friends thing can happen in time but you can't be friends yet, it doesnt work. A lengthy period of no contact is needed so all feelings have gone. Usually you find you don't want this person as a friend when you're over them.

As someone who was strung along for 11 years,give yourself the best chance of finding someone worthy of you by cutting contact read now.

Gamer is right. If you go no contact, I bet my house you’ll get to a point of either indifference, or actively dislike him enough to not even want him as a friend. Blocking him is a kindness to yourself.

Spent a sleepless night overthinking this & wondering what I'm supposed to have done.

No compulsion to get in touch with him so far!!

Thank you again for handhold.

My guess is something as happened and he has decided it was you. Hence the phone call.

He's still in your head and stats not healthy for you. Do you think that's typical of how you deal with things like this? Sorry if that's intrusive

Spent a sleepless night overthinking this & wondering what I'm supposed to have done.

If you can't think of what you have done or can't think of anything you might have done which could have been misconstrued, then you haven't done anything worth worrying about.
He wants to make you feel insecure. The fact that he said he wanted to talk to you and then kept you waiting until a later time to talk to you and then didn't explain the situation properly suggests it's all bollocks and done deliberately.

The only thing you can do now is block this fucker and move on - no matter how hard it is. It will take time to recover but you will feel loads better in a few months.

One thing I did when I went non-contact with my ex the first time was stick a 3-month calendar on the wall (printed off from the internet).
I marked off 30, 60 and 90 days on it and on those days I chose a "treat" for myself. The 30 day treat was to buy myself a new jacket (saved a small amount of money each day towards it). The 60 day treat was a spa day and the 90 day treat was a trip out to somewhere 2 hours away which I'd wanted to visit for years. I then marked off each day of non-contact and worked towards my treats which I could only get if I didn't contact him. By the time the 60 days came around I couldn't give a shit about him anymore. The first days were hard though.
Try it - it might help!

OP, my guess is his new GF has found "friendly" (ie, not terse) messages between you on his phone, and she doesn't like it.

instead of telling her to wind her neck in, and reassuring her there's nothing to it, he's taken the easy way out and has shifted the blame onto you.

him getting in touch with you to ask you to stop/not to do anything is just to appease her.

i think your current course of action is still the correct one!
soon enough you won't be so bothered.

This sounds so odd. Who the hell does that wanker think he is calling you and accusing you of stuff?? And he's the one who messages you first which is really shitty when he knows you still have feelings for him.

Whether he likes to have you hanging around and unable to move on or whether something else is going on with his life, you're well rid of him and it's better you're no contact (even though to begin with it will be hard). Much better that you're not waiting for his message etc.

I think he has been caught out either talking to or messaging you or someone else. He has contacted you while she was there to tell you not to contact him, pretending he hasn’t been the one doing the contacting. You are the scapegoat OP and haven’t done anything. He is not a nice person.

One day you will look back and won’t be able to think of anything nice about him.

Sorry to resurrect this thread, I was doing so well but I'm in a real trough today about this relationship. I'm so lonely.

I haven't been in touch with him but I'm missing it so much.

No worries OP, we’re still here. Could you put on some music and sing along instead?