Ex "needs to talk to me later"

[ArtisanBreadBin]

And I feel so sick. Just after a bit of company.

I don't know why he couldn't have just talked to you then unless he's just messing with you.

What time is sir supposed to grace you with his presence?

And yes, you really can cut him off. The sadness will last for a little bit and then you'll be better.

How long were you together. Why did it end. You will get past this. You can talk to a counsellor but dont let this control and ruin your life. He is just one of millions of men. You dont deserve to have all this in your thoughts.

Yes of course you can talk to a counsellor about this. He can't control you in this way. I assume his gf is pregnant or they are engaged and he wanted you to hear that from him. But why the need for the drama I don't know!!

You can definitely see a counsellor about this sort of thing. For your self esteem/confidence if anything.

3 o clock I think. I'm not young. Nearly 40! Which is embarrassing.

And no, I now know I'm only in love with what we had. I'm seeing a lot of things in him that I dislike now. I wouldn't want him back. I just miss having a best friend you know? It's hard to make friends at this age, I can see now that our relationship wasn't that healthy.

Tbh the first thing my mind goes to isnthat he's got an STD and you need to get checked.

Of course you can see a counsellor about this. I think it's a good example of something where counselling might help.

The anxiety you feel about cutting contact - and that you would probably feel for a little while once you did - wouldn't last forever. It would peak, feel temporarily shit, and then fade away freeing you up to start moving forward. Whereas maintaining contact is prolonging both the anxiety and your sadness/grief/distress at the end of the relationship - it stops it reaching its peak then fading out of your system, so it stays at this persistent eating-away-at-you level instead

When you do block him it would be good if you had some plans for distractions and self-care etc in the immediate aftermath while your anxiety was peaking (so you didn't unblock him to try and run from the feelings) and then in the days to come. (Crafting artisan bread bins from abandoned pallets would be one distraction you could try, or you could pick a different craft or a massive jigsaw puzzle or something...)

Good luck for later

I thought STI too.

I had an ex I was totally still in love with for 3 years after he dumped me, he messed me around so much and and I would have done anything to have him back. He was sooo manipulative. One day he did something that made me think ‘ewww what am I doing?’. I think that was the moment they describe as ‘scales falling from your eyes’. There was no going back from that. I wish I had not wasted so many years on him. Hope you get resolution soon.

Stay strong

He is not your best friend. Have you made a list of all his negative traits. I bet they outnumber the positives. I hope you find strength. Do you have other people irl who can help you. Youre still young! 40 is the new 20.

Thank you so much.

Hope it all turns out alright. Keep us updated

@ArtisanBreadBin

Of course you can see a Counsellor. Relate is good if you are in UK and they are not just for married people

@Ferretyone I didn't realise that. I think I can get a discount with relate through work.

Gosh, I hope it goes ok. Be strong and don't be pushed into anything.

Counselling can be really helpful at the end of a relationship. Done it a couple of times. The second counsellor was brutally honest and made me realise I did have a way out!

Would it help to write answers down to what he might say.
Sti . Thanks for letting me know I will get myself checked.
Gf related, moving in together, engaged, marrying, pg . Be strong and gracious. I appreciate you letting me know and hope it works out well for you.
He is leaving work. Great, good luck.
He wants you back and his life has gone tits up. No sorry I dont want that, we are not good together.
Whatever he says you are in control of your own life. Try not to let him know you are upset,

What a cock. Just protecting his interests.

What did the slimeball have to say?

Just telling me not to get involved in his new life. Something about social media. All a bit odd tbh.
I think this is a tipping point.

Maybe a blessing in disguise. Easier to think of him as a cock to help you move on OP

Probably a clear break is for the best. No social media etc, allows you to crack on with your life!

Sorry a hard lesson learnt...do not agree to meet up with him again. Go no contact, do not fuel the fire of running when he calls again.

Cold turkey op....

What a twat, he really thinks he is that important.