What would you think of this message?

[GirlOnIt]

No messages because A has my phone. You should be ok to message at the weekend. Don't reply to this.

I don't think you're wrong @LemonTT. But I think I owed my children having one last try. Things have actually been really good too and I was actually beginning to get that trust in him back, obviously it was taking time thought.
Anyway his loss!

He's literally fully outed himself OP and you're trying to work out that maybe it isnt that because that doesn't make sense. The thing is you know he is a liar so it doesn't need to. You obviously have no idea what he's really up to or like behind your back so the fact you perceive the message to not make sense is a bit meaningless, he obviously lies to you AND whoever that was .

Things were never going well, he lies to you, goes behind your back, most likely is cheating. Things are going horribly and he clearly knows you'll just put up with it.

Why have you got back with him? How many more chances are you going to give him?

So you know who it is?

Ugh as if it’s not bad enough betraying you like that, but he’s also treating you like you’re a complete idiot. Talk about adding insult to injury. It is exactly what you think.

all he’s said is “it’s not what you think”
That means that it is exactly what you think!
His loss indeed OP.
You know what to do.
What a scumbag he is.

It's exactly what you think.

He is having an affair or EA

Don't give him another chance

It's obviously dodgy. If there was any explanation he would have already told you

He most likely said that to the OW because he couldn't be bothered to message her that evening, sounds to me like he's trying to ghost her/get rid of her. He's lying to you so he's also probably lying to her. Could be lots of reasons why he didn't want her messaging him.

Either way he's quite blatantly cheating on you.

Hope you are packing his stuff right now op.

There is no other explanation is there.

He's never cheated before or even done anything like that. So I'm shocked and really angry right now, will probably hit me and I'll be upset at some point.

He was out of the house as soon as I suspected something. I was just I guess wanting confirmation that it was exactly how it seems. Apparently he'd not going to bother trying to explain as I'll just chuck him out of his house anyway and not let him see his kids.
Maybe if he didn't do dickish things that made me chuck him out of our house in the first place and I've never stopped him seeing our children.

You can't stop access to the kids without a very good reason,
But him saying you will chuck him out anyway is not a defense. He's been caught out.

I wouldn't look back.

I wouldn't @dwum

@GirlOnIt do you know who he was texting?

Apparently he'd not going to bother trying to explain as I'll just chuck him out of his house anyway and not let him see his kids.

He can't think of a lie fast enough!

Yep...he’ll be back when he thinks he’s thought of a good enough excuse. Idiot.

OP you just sound tired of the whole charade :(

Just get it over and done with so you can both move on and stop playing at happy families, cos it's not working for either of you, and I'm quite sure you'll both be better off stopping the pretending.

It's past time you had the 'It's not working' chat and packed his shit up and kicked him out !

No more pretending like either of you actually give a shit about the other. No more overthinking or excuse finding etc etc....Just get it over with !

He's never cheated before or even done anything like that

Given all you've said in previous threads I'm afraid that's not an assumption I'd want to make, but anyway I agree with LemonTT ... this clearly isn't a relationship in any real way now, so wouldn't it be better to draw a line under it once and for all?

He's not going to bother trying to explain = oh crap I can't think of a single lie that anyone would believe.

He's pathetic

He's already gone @nowayhose.

No more pretending like either of you actually give a shit about the other. That's certainly not true from my point of view though. I care very much and we've been really happy since we got back together.

And I know I won't forgive him if he's cheated. But I also don't get the moving on part, probably easy enough for him but I won't introduce a partner to my kids, certainly won't have someone live with us, so my moving on is being single for the next 18 years.
That's not saying I can't or won't do it. But it's not exactly something I'm thinking 'yay' about. And I don't think I'm going to be 'happier' day to day.

I can see from your posts you care very deeply for him and this is going to be a very painful end to process, not least because of how long things have been back and forth and how much you have invested.

I'm so sorry this is how things have played out and it must not feel like much comfort at the moment to try and think it is for the best that you part

I wish you a happier life without him. For now, just one where he isn't in the position to keep hurting you and you forgiving him. You deserve better.

He's told her via his phone that you can see his phone?? I don't understand. Either he is phenomenally stupid or he wanted you to see.

I don't know @Eckhart. I presume he meant not to message after that as I was going to have his phone. Only I wasn't anyway, he wasn't here and neither was his phone.

@GirlOnIt, I recall your threads and commented on one. I agree with @LemonTT. You’ve had one issue after another, and last year you decided that enough was enough.

Your baby daughter must be here now and you wanted to restore the family unit. Perhaps he has been a big help as you’ve juggled two little ones, but he hasn’t been fully committed. Your previous assessment of the relationship was correct.