Morning peeps! Hope all you lovely ladies have a good day planned?
Oh @Upyerbum70 that sucks about Mr Jewish. Dont do what I did with a guy on OLD who messed me about. I saw him back on there and before I knew it, my fingers had typed out a sarcastic message, like a stalkery loon with no dignity. I wasn't even pissed! Just had a red mist of fury descend that his "not ready to date" had clearly been lies. He, rightly, blocked me. Which was actually good (and deeply humiliating) as I couldn't see his profile anymore so couldn't torture myself.
So - don't be me! Unless you want blocking! 
@Misty9 - wow, go you doing a chicken for yourself. I need to follow your lead and eat more healthily and care for myself better. I am a crap cook though. But now seems as good a time as any to learn.
@mildlymiffed oooh I haven't heard of sex education. I shall give it a go. Watching funny things are good for the soul. C'mon lets see a pic of the lamp. I adore that you talk about it with the same enthusiasm that @Eesha talks about her FWB 
@KLS02 and others who fancy a FWB - I think the trick is to NOT go for your usual type. If you choose someone who you fancy but would never pursue a relationship with, then it sort of keeps you safe. My FWB is lovely and I do have warm fuzzy feelings towards him, but it isn't love just friendship and like. I would die a thousand deaths if he wanted a relationship. He has several deal breakers so therefore feels safe. @Eesha you sound like you have found your self a decent one!
@Itsallpointless I bet you could pull it you wanted to. You are possibly sending out "fuck off, I can't be arsed with your pillocky gender" vibes maybe? And anyway, you won't end up alone eaten by Alsations because you and anyone who wants to can come and live on my commune. Was thinking that if we put a man's head on a stake at the top of the driveway, would that get the point across to menfolk who were tempted to chance their arm with us?
@lifegoes and anyone else who feels lonely sometimes - I think it's totally normal. As I said on the last thread, the loneliness is never as soul destroying as being lonely IN a relationship. I tend to ring my best mate when I feel lonely, or call my exH for a chat which reminds me why I prefer being single. Or find something on MN to get disproportionately furious about
@Itsallpointless I get why your are irked that your exes life has fallen into place. You could always do a faked letter to him from an STD clinic or the CSA to add a bit of excitement to his new relationship? But apparently the police aren't keen on that (meanies). I think I would just trust in karma - in time it may catch up with him in the form of early erectile dysfunction due to him using it too much earlier in life! That would be less of an aubergine 🍆 and more of a banana emoji needed
@Sally99 Welcome! Your ex sounds like a cowardly bastard. Ending the relationship without ending it so that you end up being the one who pulls the plug. Why do men do this? Wet fuckers! Still, on a positive note, once the initial hurt is over, it means you tend to look back and never wonder what could have been. As the cowardice is so mind bendingly unattractive that they become repulsive to you. So he did you a favour in that regard. It turned out mine was shagging someone else. To be honest, I was so repulsed by his behaviour that I couldn't have given a shit - he made my skin crawl regardless. Men like that are too pathetic to be friends after as you become a living reminder of their own cowardice and they can't cope with it (poor fucking lambs! 
). I do hope you are ok? He has shown you who he is and actually done you a huge favour - you may not have realised he was a spineless jellyfish (sorry jellyfish) for ages otherwise. I am glad you found out motley gang of thread-esses to hang out with 
Hope things feel better today @bibliomania? My bosom has dried out so all ready for fresh cuddles and tears if needed. I can also provide cake, tea, books, blankets and a comforting (yet gobshitingly noisy) cat to stroke. If anyone else needs some TLC, feel free to come too. The virtual chairs are self replicating as needed
Now, I have to tell you about my dream last night. You know how you are meant to only be able to dream about men you know? Well I keep having a bloke I don't know pop up in my dreams. He is about 6'5", brown hair, muscly but not in a gym bunny way, gorgeous smile and twinkly eyes. Last night he was a policeman I had met who I was having a fling with. He was bloody good! But who the fuck IS he? I haven't seen anyone in real life or on telly or dating sites or anywhere that looks like him. Most bizarre. Maybe he is the dream version of my ideal man. If I ever do meet him in real life, I will be like the witch in the Wizard of Oz and just hiss and melt in a flood of my own making!