Husband and my hair

[BIankets]

I have a hair appointment booked today. I want to have my currently (long) hair cut into a long bob. I told him this and he said “oh, I don’t really like you with shorter hair”. It’s very much my hair and my choice which I’ve explained to him, and now he’s taking a “well, it’s your hair” stance but is still clearly unhappy.

Now I’m obviously not going to let that stop me, and my hair will be getting cut how I want it. But that’s a strange comment, isn’t it? When does stating a preference become controlling?

Is he controlling in other ways or just this?

I don’t think it’s a bad thing, necessarily, to express a preference re your hair, but it is your ultimate choice. Do you comment in return (ie if DH were to announce he was getting a skinhead, growing a moustache, etc etc?)

We all have our preferences . Like if my boyfriend said he was growing his hair longer - I would say I like it short . But it’s his hair not mine so can do as he pleases. But I’m still allowed to say what I like .
I don’t see the issue .

It's fair enough giving people your opinion on how you like their hair. I tend to like long hair but I've sometimes been pleasantly surprised when friends have cut it. Anyway, he's just telling you his preference - you get the cut you want and I'm sure it'll look lovely

He just means he won’t fancy you as much. But yes your choice.

If that's his exact words then I think that's pretty horrible to be honest - I dont really like you with shorter hair. As in you, the whole person, not just the hair cut. I guess it depends on what he does afterwards, if he sulks or treats you differently then he is trying to change your behaviour on something that has no relevance to him. If it was just badly worded and what he meant was 'I prefer your hair long' and that's the last of it then I think fair enough.

My husband has a disgusting brown jumper that's a minging shade of brown and I hate it, he knows I dont like it but wears it anyway. I never mention it, and I'd never say 'I dont like you in that jumper' just 'I dont like that jumper' if I was asked again

I know dh prefers my hair longer but it's not stopped me from having it all lengths including very short. He accepts that as it's my hair I can do what I like with it. I got 3 inches off it the other day to take it just below my shoulders.

My husband always had a very short beard. He shaved it off once. I screamed that I hated it and told him he looked like a baked bean.

It's all about whether he's trying to control you. Is he?

As others have said, I tell my OH that I like his hair a bit longer. After a long while he now lets it grow about an extra 1/2 inch. I know he likes my hair long, he likes long hair in general. He will honestly say if he doesn’t like an outfit. I do the same.

Feedback and voicing an opinion are not signs of control. I’m not sure that would need to be explained to me. I know I don’t need to explain it to him.

Why do you think he is controlling. It must be more than this.

@opticaldelusion A baked bean!? That is hilarious - I can't stop laughing!

My boyfriend has recently cut his hair really short, he knows I’m not keen (it’s not as bad as his awful head shave last year) and I don’t really like it. But he prefers it.

I normally have a beard, recently I’ve gone for just having stubble as it’s easier to maintain and stops me getting dry skin. He doesn’t like it because it’s scratchy, but, my face my choice.

There’s nothing wrong with preferring a different style on someone, there’s only something wrong if you act like an idiot if you don’t like the style they choose.

Expressing an opinion isn't controlling. What would be controlling is "punishing" you or sulking for you having it done, or making unkind remarks about your new hair or using emotional blackmail to get you to adhere to his beliefs.

I like my H with stubble and tell him frequently and he lets it grow a bit then shaves. But I dont constantly whine about it when he's freshly shaven because its HIS face, not mine.

@opticaldelusion

Ok, I can now honestly say I woke a small person 3 rooms away from laughing so hard at ‘he looked like a baked bean’. That’s made my day.

I think you’re overreacting. How is it controlling? He’s merely telling you that he likes you with long hair. We all have preferences. I personally like long hair on everybody. When anybody has their hair cut I think it’s a huge shame. I just don’t tell them. Well I tell my husband when he gets just hair cut, and he laughs and it grows and then we go through it all again.

He just means he won’t fancy you as much. But yes your choice.

This.

I love men with long hair. Say I got with Jason Mamoa (mmm) and he said one day he wanted to shave it off, I'd be all "Noooooooooo...." but I'd get over it. Eventually ...

But yes, totally your choice. He could fancy you even more after.

My DH prefers my hair long and red. I prefer him without a beard.

It doesn’t affect either of us or have any bearing on our appearance.

Right now my hair is short and brown! He still loves me!

It's pretty normal to have a preference,some things are what make us really go 'phwoar!' For someone, be that long hair or a beard or a clean shave etc etc. It's fair enough to say that's one thing you really love about the person you're attracted to and in a relationship with.

I doubt he is “sulking” because of the haircut. It would be because the OP explained the blatantly obvious to him. I would be the same if I got something like that explained to me. It’s womansplaining”.

He said he likes you better with long hair. That's not controlling it's expressing an opinion.
Unless he's controlling in other ways then I'm not sure why you think this could be controlling.

IDK OP. Between you and me - it broke my heart a little bit when by DW cut her long hair. I loved her hair long and I think I might have even said - ‘oh - I love your hair long’ when she said she was getting a bob, but she felt she was older and it was time. I told her it was nice and suited her when she came back ...but really...I didn’t. It’s her hair and absolutely up to her what she does with it.
I’m used to it now - but I still skip a little beat when I see photos of her when it was longer.

She complains that I get my hair cut too short every time I do - but I just like to get my money’s worth and it’s less fuss in the morning when shorter. It soon grows back.

But I can imagine if I grew a moustache she would hate it - and my daughters have told me a beard is out is the question!

Sorry but it's not controlling at all... He has his preferences, my husband also prefers me with long hair and would be really upset if I cut it, I also would be upset if he grew a beard, or grew his hair (he shaves it and looks like the rock so I like it)

That's not me being controlling in just as if he was to say he wanted to out on weight and become over weight or lose weight and become skinny... I also wouldn't want those, sorry but I find what I like attractive and I'm not going to feel attracted to someone like that.

what on earth is so strange or controlling?

He has an opinion, isn't he allowed to have one? If someone is controlling, it's not him.

If he wanted to grow a moustache or have long/short hair, wouldn't you have an opinion?

If my DH was becoming fat and unattractive, I most certainly would have an opinion about it. Yes, it's his body, but I am the one who is having sex with him. My opinion matters. (and vice-versa)

Well I prefer my DH with a beard, and I tell him so. I don't think it makes me controlling. Sometimes he shaves it off and sometimes he lets it grow!

He's entitled to his opinion and to express it.

Only you know if he is controlling or not.

I'd prefer if my DH didn't wear a particular jumper. He knows this but he still wears it. It's OK, we love each other. He also loudly hates my taste in clothes. But he still loves me. All good.

A baked bean 😂😂😂😂😂