Husband and my hair

[BIankets]

I have a hair appointment booked today. I want to have my currently (long) hair cut into a long bob. I told him this and he said “oh, I don’t really like you with shorter hair”. It’s very much my hair and my choice which I’ve explained to him, and now he’s taking a “well, it’s your hair” stance but is still clearly unhappy.

Now I’m obviously not going to let that stop me, and my hair will be getting cut how I want it. But that’s a strange comment, isn’t it? When does stating a preference become controlling?

I don't see the problem either, I know mine prefers mine longer, it's his opinion that it suits me better, same I don't like his too short (I've even told him I'd divorce him if he ever shaved it!!!!) Still both of our choices how we have our hair though. It's no different to saying a certain cut of jean suits you more.

Definitely not controlling. He's expressing his preferences, that's all.
Hairstyles or colours can drastically change how a person looks so it's normal to have a strong opinion on it also!

As for his choice of words "I don't like you with short hair". I doubt the choice of words was deliberately chosen that way, or that there is a deeper meaning to his words and that he's expressing he won't like her if she cuts her hair! We all have our nuances with how we use languages, and saying it that way doesn't necessarily have some deeper meaning than if he'd said I don't like your hair when it's short!

Not controlling at all....the problem is, now he's put it out there, you'll never like your hair in a bob. What he said will always linger in the back of your mind regardless of how much you feel (correctly) that it's your hair". Have you considered buying or even trying on some bob style wigs to see how you feel before you actually have it all chopped off?

I don’t think he’s being controlling, just expressing an opinion which isn’t that uncommon. I remember reading once that only 5% of men find short hair attractive.

It’s your hair though, so bloody go for it.

I agree with @PenelopeFlintstone, I would never have thought to interpret it the way @OoohTheStatsDontLie did, it's just a turn of phrase

My DW asks what I like but does what she wants anyway - long, short, extensions, colours, straight, curls whatever.

It depends on context, if he merely said he prefers your hair long I don't see it as an issue. DH tried a different barber before Christmas and I told him his haircut looked like Hitler youth standard issue. It's ok to be honest with your spouse! He also knows I think he looks about twelve when he's clean shaven

Its not controlling.

I don't see this particular thing as controlling in itself at all. I have long hair blonde hair and every other month or so ponder dying/cutting it, much to DH's horror! But if I actually wanted to seriously do it I wouldn't hesitate, it's my hair, he'll get over it!
On the same note, my DH keeps mentioning growing his hair. Which sends chills down my spine and I have threatened to cut it in his sleep if he did. (not that I would but you know)

@Okbutno why is it wrong for a man to have a strong opinion on how he thinks a woman should look? Because it’s just that, an opinion, it’s not law. Opinions are, as they say, like arseholes - everybody has one, and they are usually full of shit - it’s up to you if you decide to take on someone’s (shit) opinion...

This is one of those "I can't believe someone honestly, truly, deep-down thinks this is an issue" posts. He must spend his life walking on eggshells for fear of voicing an opinion.

I think that the phrase "I don't like you with short hair" is fine. I like shaved head or a beard on some men because I believe it suits them. Doesn't mean that I like those on general on anyone. I certainly would hate it on DH, it would not suit him at all, in my opinion. So yes, it would br a matter of not liking the way he looks with something, rather than not liking something.

I see @BIankets has disappeared

Talk about mountains out of molehills!

My DH prefers my hair long. He also prefers it when I wear it down. Doesn’t change how I wear it.

My husband prefers me with long hair, I prefer a pixie cut, he’s used to it now though. He’s just stating a preference as others have said.

I don’t like my husband to be clean shaven and luckily for me he’s grown a beard recently which is delightful!

It’s what people do in normal, healthy marriages. Some of those responding to say that he’s controlling may not have experienced one of those.

It’s not controlling. I don’t like my DH with a beard, if he grows one I make my feelings known that I’m not keen, but if he keeps it that’s his choice. We all have preferences don’t we?

I don’t think it’s rude or controlling.

Everyone has a “type” - what they’re most attracted to. Some people prefer long hair, others prefer short hair. Some people prefer beards, others don’t etc. Personally I prefer my partner with hair and I would be less attracted to him if he just shaved it all off. Just the same way I’m not attracted to men that are bald or have an extremely receding hairline (sorry!).

I think generally speaking, men like longer hair on their partner, it’s more feminine etc. I’m not saying that there’s anything wrong with shorter hair - I have a long bob myself.

It is very important to me that my wife finds me attractive. Far more important to me than any particular grooming style, thus my style is tailored to her opinion.