Husband and my hair

[BIankets]

I have a hair appointment booked today. I want to have my currently (long) hair cut into a long bob. I told him this and he said “oh, I don’t really like you with shorter hair”. It’s very much my hair and my choice which I’ve explained to him, and now he’s taking a “well, it’s your hair” stance but is still clearly unhappy.

Now I’m obviously not going to let that stop me, and my hair will be getting cut how I want it. But that’s a strange comment, isn’t it? When does stating a preference become controlling?

I don’t think it’s controlling, unless he’s point blank saying “you’re not cutting your hair because I prefer it long.” He’s just expressing his opinion. I really disliked dp shaving his head when he asked me I told him I preferred it longer. That doesn’t mean he can’t shave it he can do whatever he wants I just don’t find it attractive as it reminds me of my dad.

Only you know if it was accompanied by nastiness and a bullying tone of voice. If not, it's fine for him to state his opinion.

My DH prefers longer hair on me because he loves to play with it. He can certainly say how he likes my hair but he and I both know his preference has absolutely no bearing on how I actually do have my hair.

In all fairness I do only really have it cut once or twice a year so go from very king to a neck length bob so I would say DH probably gets his way more than me but if I chose to keep cutting it he wouldn't try and stop me.

Voicing a preference? Fine. Demanding or nagging someone to go with their preference? Not fine.

I cut my waist length hair short one summer as I was just tooooo hot with so much hair. The exh said "well that showed me" like I was doing it to piss him off or something, he sulked for days. Really believed I'd cut my hair to upset him. Everything was always about him. He was a very controlling man.

@Branster

Fair point, difficult to pick a favourite bit actually!

Wow @anotherlittlechicken. That’s incredibly fucking rude. Does the person who’s photos you’ve used know that you think she’s fugly?

It’s not at all controlling if he’s not trying to influence your choice. But he is allowed a preference. I have a preference about beard length, there’s nothing wrong with that.

Is he controlling in other ways or just this?
Expressing a preference for someone's hair style really isn't 'controlling'. It just means he has an opinion. We are still allowed those, aren't we?

My partner likes me with long hair. He hated my bob!
I hate when he’s clean shaven.

Just preference

My dh prefers my hair long. If I said
I was cutting it short I expect t he'd say something similar to your dh. It's all personal preference

However, I've been in a controlling relationship and things like this really bother me and set my teeth on edge. So I'd end up cutting my hair anyway just because I can. My dh would still love me tho, he loves me for who I am, not my hairstyle

Oh and don't forget to show us the new 'do'

It’s very much my hair and my choice which I’ve explained to him, and now he’s taking a “well, it’s your hair” stance but is still clearly unhappy

If you spoke to me like that I’d be unhappy too. And you’re obviously still banging on about your hair...what do you expect the bloke to say?

The sulking indicates to me that he's 'planting a seed' to make you unsure.

His opinion on something so trivial is irrelevant. My guess it he likes to give his opinions on lots of matters that don't concern him.

DH likes my hair long - I don't. It doesn't suit me and so my hair is rarely longer than shoulder length. He doesn't give me a hard time over it.
I don't like beards/moustaches - DH grew a beard for Movember. I didn't leave him over it

@okbutno It is just a preference and it depends on cut, face, hair type etc. I also have some friends whose OHs prefer them with short hair.

I have a few friends who look a lot younger with longer hair than when they cut their hair short. But another friend who went from hair down her back to shoulder length and looks miles better. My preference but up to them.

@gingersausage. Calm down love. She never said the woman was fugly, just the hair cut.

It would have been a bit more tactful to have chosen a photo of a hair model, but I’m sure (in the very unlikely scenario of the woman seeing it posted here) will give no fucks about some random woman on the internet saying she finds that style of haircut fugly. If someone does, they need to work on their own issues. We don’t all like the same things ‍🤷🏻‍♀️

I'm also amazed at all of the women commenting here that they think it's fine for their husbands to have such strong (v typical) opinions on how they and women should look.

Because we also have similar preferences about our husbands, so it would be hypocritical not to allow them theirs.

i told my dh i dont like his hair tooshort-im not controlling just stating an opnion

he can hoeever do as he pleases

Meh, if my husband decided to grow his hair long no wear a man bun I’d have something to say about it. Same if he grew a beard, I’d express I didn’t like it. His hair his choice, but I need to look at it too,

Not getting your angst op.

Oh yuck, just imagining DH with a man bun...
I would definitely go off him.

Most men prefer longer hair. It's not controlling. He can't help what he finds attractive. I wish my husband liked short hair. It would be a lot easier

To be fair, I don't like my husband with super short hair. Or when he's just shaved all his beard off. I fancy him less.

Why should it be any different for a man towards a woman?

He just fancies you more with long hair. But it's your hair. Your call!

anotherlittlechicken I’ve just had my hair cut into that style and I agree.
It IS a fugly monstrosity.
I hit my 30s and felt all sorts of frumpy, old, past it.
Decided to get my hair cut short.
I really hate it.

DH has been very nice but secretly I think he’s very pleased that I hate it so much so it’ll grow long and I hopefully won’t cut it again.

I don’t think short short hair looks great on my husband. I have told him a number of times he looks like a granny bashing thug straight after a haircut. I wouldn’t take this comment to heart, I get to decide my hair and he decides his.

His opinion on something so trivial is irrelevant.
might be trivial to you, but for some of us a partner who actually still cares about our appearance is not trivial at all.

My guess it he likes to give his opinions on lots of matters that don't concern him. My guess is that you are unhappily single

I think it's the wording that would get me
"I don't like you with short hair"

Rather than
"I'm not a fan of short hair".