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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Do I have a right to have this?

138 replies

P999 · 20/02/2020 22:36

My ex and I split 2 years ago, around the time he came into some money when a family trust on his side was formed. Coincidence? Hmm. Up until then, i was pretty much paying for everything and putting a roof over his head. My 2DDs are beneficiaries to the trust when my ex dies. He gets regular payments from this trust. He initially promised to send me the Trust deeds and then soon after went back on that promise. His brother is a big deal tax avoidance player and had a big hand in setting up this trust, which is supposed to be one that was created to manage their dad's estate. The dad is gaga now. Im sure the brother has dobe dodgy things with the trust. It's an overseas one. My ex gets huge payouts but refuses to tell me anything about them. He pays 1k per month towards girls upkeep. But I think this is peanuts in terms of his overall earnings from the trust and his job. I've called him up over his caginess but he insists it's non of my business or he ignores me. AIBU?

OP posts:
PerfectPineapple · 20/02/2020 22:38

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P999 · 20/02/2020 22:38

I am NC with his entire family. They're horrific people.

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P999 · 20/02/2020 22:39

No, not married. Cohabited for 15 years, 2 kids

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Newnamewhodis1 · 20/02/2020 22:40

I believe he has to pay child maintenance but nothing else. You weren't married?

PerfectPineapple · 20/02/2020 22:41

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Clovertoast · 20/02/2020 22:41

You get 1k a month in maintenance!!
Jeez. Thats plenty no ?

P999 · 20/02/2020 22:44

Am not complaining and we're not starving. But if the ex dies tomorrow, there is no way my kids will see a penny from that trust. His brother is a crook and the family are vultures. I will have no evidence to claim anything on their behalf.

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Newnamewhodis1 · 20/02/2020 22:44

I wouldn't consider £1k plenty tbh. I earn much more than that and struggle to support just me!

I can understand why you're cheesed off op but you ain't 'entitled' to shit

PerfectPineapple · 20/02/2020 22:47

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P999 · 20/02/2020 22:47

Is there any reason to hide the trust deeds from their mother, other than because it's dodgy and they want to hide it from me. They're scumbag of the highest order. No qualms in stealing my DDs inheritance.

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Mamato2gorgeousboys · 20/02/2020 22:47

He won’t give you the info as it sounds more like you want it to be able to claim more maintenance from him, as opposed to wanting to ensure your dd’s get their inheritance if anything were to happen to him.

P999 · 20/02/2020 22:48

Maybe if I go through cms the 1k would go up. His earnings will be huge

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P999 · 20/02/2020 22:50

I think he should pay more if cms calculation says he's loaded enough to pay more. Is that unreasonable? He does shit all for them on the whole

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PerfectPineapple · 20/02/2020 22:51

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Newnamewhodis1 · 20/02/2020 22:51

So do that then. This inheritance thing is a red herring. It's his right now - he can spunk it up the wall all he likes. Work on the basis your kids won't be getting any of it and if they do it'll be a nice bonus

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 20/02/2020 22:51

Find out who the solicitors are if you can and write to them on behalf of your dd asking to see trust deed. No idea if they'd be entitled to see it but might be worth a try..

P999 · 20/02/2020 22:51

The brother is probably doing very dirty dodgy stuff with that trust too. Maybe I should go to HMRC and blow the whole thing up

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PerfectPineapple · 20/02/2020 22:52

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frazzledasarock · 20/02/2020 22:52

Can you get legal advice? Do you know the solicitors through whom the trust was set up? You might be able to get access to the paperwork.

You really need legal advice of your own here.

P999 · 20/02/2020 22:53

Thanks all. I think I'll start with cms. Think solicitors are in Switzerland. Fucking dodgy. Trust is in virgin islands. Loathe that family. Always hated the brother. Would dearly love to see him in jail. Sigh...

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Bodear · 20/02/2020 22:53

You lost me at “gaga” Hmm

Newnamewhodis1 · 20/02/2020 22:53

I've just had a go on that calculator out of curiosity. If dad is earning £200k, and has his two kids over twice a week he has to pay £1400 a month. Bit pathetic, isn't it

Newnamewhodis1 · 20/02/2020 22:54

Nothing necessarily dodgy about using banks/firms abroad for wealth management op...

doesthissoundok · 20/02/2020 22:57

Savings and investments aren't included in CMS calculations. Maybe seek legal advice to see if you can apply to the courts for an increase in maintenance? I don't think you're in a strong position. I agree heartily that it's shitty though

Mamato2gorgeousboys · 20/02/2020 23:04

Be careful as I don’t think cms count investments. If they’re clever with hiding things, you may find that on paper, he earns a lot less and then your cms actually goes down.

It sounds like you’ve had a rough time with exP and his family so you’re angry. Is 1k not enough? I could definitely understand if you need to pay for school fees out of it, but if not, it’s a reasonable amount when combined with your own salary.

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