Do I have a right to have this?

[P999]

My ex and I split 2 years ago, around the time he came into some money when a family trust on his side was formed. Coincidence? Hmm. Up until then, i was pretty much paying for everything and putting a roof over his head. My 2DDs are beneficiaries to the trust when my ex dies. He gets regular payments from this trust. He initially promised to send me the Trust deeds and then soon after went back on that promise. His brother is a big deal tax avoidance player and had a big hand in setting up this trust, which is supposed to be one that was created to manage their dad's estate. The dad is gaga now. Im sure the brother has dobe dodgy things with the trust. It's an overseas one. My ex gets huge payouts but refuses to tell me anything about them. He pays 1k per month towards girls upkeep. But I think this is peanuts in terms of his overall earnings from the trust and his job. I've called him up over his caginess but he insists it's non of my business or he ignores me. AIBU?

Am doing nothing. Cms sounds like a very bad idea. Thanks for explaining about how they calculate it. Would have been v risky. And a bad move by the sounds of it.

He is not getting away with being a shit. He is divorced from you. That's a loss.

Also some day the tax authorities will catch up if he's evading, they always do.

I can see why you are angry. Angry at yourself I think though. Never get into debt to keep a man again.

Live a great life now, that's the best vengeance.

Sorry. Meant to write cas. Thanks people. So am just going to leave it completely.

Thanks tork. And you are absolutely right. He took advantage and I was a mug. But am out of it now. No looking back.

What, are with in AIBU now? Some nasty responses on your thread, op. This is Relationships, people.

Of course you're angry. I had similar with my revolting ex - it cost me dear. But he got his comeuppance. If you hang onto this it'll fling you around and make you feel shit. You have to let it go. I know how hard that is

agree with springdaff.

hope it all works out for you now you are out

If I were you OP, I would not stir. I can't comment on CMS, as thankfully I know nothing about that. You were saying about HMRC and reporting. Think long and hard about that. If you stir up the shit and something dodgy is going on, you could end up losing your £1k a month. Pretty silly don't you think?

As far as any documentation is concerned, if he doesn't control the trust, he probably can't give it to you. Even if he could, he doesn't have to, the trust is none of your business and you need to accept that.

Don't cut your nose off to spite your face. That grand a month is a hell of a lot more than many get, judging by the responses on here.

I would just suck it up if I were you. Involving CMS might reduce payments and seriously piss your ex off to the point the £1k is reduced. If he's paying and he's involved with your kids, he's doing better than lots of others out there.

Do you know how much salary he earns per year? CMS will base it on that amount. You say you put a roof over his head? For how long? Can you prove you loaned him money? If you have receipts you could maybe chase him for the money spent.

The issue here is OP you arent listening.

While you think you have a right to see them, even though it concerns your kids, you dont.

It's really that simple. He is also their parent, it ci corns him and his kids. As such you have no rights to see or keep anything regarding it

Just like he would have no right to see anything regarding any inheritance that your kids may be entitled to from your family.

Just because you are the children's mother, it doesnt mean you can get involved in anything of his. Even if it will eventually benefit your children.

Saying his dad is “gaga” and telling people to strangle cats as a joke. You sound lovely. I wonder why his family want to keep him and his money away from you?

Again, you have no right to know anything about his finances.

If you won the lottery and bought a mansion which your children would eventually inherit, would you give your ex-boyfriend the deeds?

OP when the grandfather died there should be a will. Check online to see and if so I think it is a £10 to get a copy as wills via probate are public documents. Get yourself a will done and with your will add a letter stating that there is a trust that the executors need to be aware of. Make sure your executors know about it. Legally that is all you can do. It isn’t that your ex is being unhelpful but that he doesn’t have to as it is his family’s money and you or anyone else has no business knowing about it. That is the law.

CMS does take into account "other" income. You just need to flag it up to them is all. They have a very healthy relationship with HMRC, IME.

Just saying.

But otherwise sadly it's not your responsibility / finances to make decisions on. Trust law is hugely complex. Particularly if the trusts are in Switzerland and pay out in BVI. I would leave well alone OP - don't get to hung up about finances you've never seen / never had eyes on. It's not worth it, and your DC won't ever know what they never had.

You have no right to see or know anything to do with this trust. Your daughters will have a right when they're old enough to benefit or when their father dies, whichever happens first.

Even though it is a "family trust" your daughters will only benefit from what is left when they of legal age to access the funds. Until then, it is up to the current beneficiaries to use as they see fit.

Again, it is nothing to do with you.

And I say this as a woman who's DH's family have a "family trust". I would only benefit from the trust if DH dies and our DD is too young to benefit directly - it is to be used for living expenses, school fees etc. Then when she comes of age, she will benefit directly from what is left, and I will have no access or claim to DH's funds

CMS does take into account "other" income. You just need to flag it up to them is all. They have a very healthy relationship with HMRC, IME.

It does if its earnings. So bonuses, dividends etc.

Trusts are not the same.

I can understand it if your intention is to protect your daughters if you feel they wont get what they are due, whether its from the Trust or his monthly maintenance. As far as the latter is concerned , if you are certain than go to the CMS calculator to check (although I assume you wont know exactly what his earnings are , or rather are officially, so maybe this wont work). Be careful though as others have said it may mean your maintenance actually decreases.
As far as the Trust goes, you may feel morally you have a right to the information, but legally you don't and that is what counts.
Finally you do sound very bitter, you have slated his whole family of, as gaga and crooks. They may well have been under investigation (many innocent ppl are) but if this is the case they would have had to already confirmed the sources of funds and the assets they hold. unless you have new information and proof, they wont entertain your rantings, having presumably done a though check already.
Finally your acts of vengeance will hurt the kids as they will potential lose their father and any inheritance they are due. It seems to me though this is less about their welfare and more about your own hatred.

If his brother is as clever as you say he is and you go through CMS, your payments could go down.

£1k a month is a lot of money. You're lucky. Be bloody grateful.

And if you're genuinely concerned about them not inheriting anything, why don't you put £500 from your maintenance away each month for them in the future?

@Cheeseandwin5

Totally agree with all you have said.

Regarding the trust: if it names your children it will have to pay out to them under the terms of the trust whether you have a copy or not. My children got a small payout from a trust set up by a relative we hardly knew. We certainly didn’t expect to receive anything from them. We had lost touch (apart from the occasional Christmas card) but the executor traced the children fairly easily, (not sure how as we had moved around over the years) It was a real surprise. They got the money without us even being aware of a trust, we certainly didn’t have a copy of the documents!

but the executor traced the children fairly easily, (not sure how as we had moved around over the years)

They can do this easily, there are businesses that do this (basically Probate Detectives). Look up a really interesting programme that was on TV called Heir Hunters, it shows exactly how they do it.

Good to hear that beneficiarues can be traced. But am not banking on girls getting a bean. Yes, I imagine he would massage his finances so it's a firm no CSA action at all. And yes, I'm bitter and angry. It comes in waves. As someone said, its as a result of being used and manipulated. But am gradually letting go. Recently thought i had reached indifference', but obviously had a setback this week. So work in progress. Vet mindful of DDs as they love their dad and put him on pedestal. And not going to rock that

@P999 well with you saying that, it wouldn't take much to draw up a list of potential suspects.

this isn't me sounding off and making overblown accusations or exaggerating

If you genuinely think this is criminal money, I don't understand why you want it for your children - their assets could be seized under the POCA. I'd stay as far away from this trust as I could, personally.