Am I being taken for a fool!

[keeptakingthepills]

Agh am irritated and having to hold it in. But am also hormonal so probably irrational.
So two things this week have f**cked me off with my DP.
So DP lives with me and my kids. My home I pay the bills and mortgage, internet, tv etc. I also pay the food bills. He throws in some cash now and again for food. His kids (2DC) stay every other weekend and one night a week. I feed them and cook and tidy for them. So far happy to do so.
But he’s been short of money lately and I’m the higher earner so I said don’t worry I’ll pay the food shopping. Then he tells me he accidentally gave his ex extra money this month as maintenance and then told her don’t worry you keep it. Telling me she needs it as doesn’t earn much and struggles to make ends meet. I’m thinking..great! So I’m basically subbing your ex and paying for your kids to be fed etc while they’re with me. He keeps telling me to stop turning the thermostat down as the house is cold but jeez I’m watching the bills go thru the roof!
Second thing that annoyed me is I worked all day. Then picked his kids up from his ex on my way home and walked in. He’s having a beer. I start getting his kids dinner. He’s doing nothing. I then ask if someone could pass me some plates so I can dish up. Instead he puts them on the table. No big deal so I say sorry can you pass them to me instead so I can dish up. He makes this massive arm flourish action passing me the plates. I say sorry is this a problem for you? He says you said set the table like I was being demanding! In my head I’m thinking you I’m getting your children dinner (mine are at their dads) and you are doing nothing and I just ask for plates and you act like I’m some diva. So I said sorry if it’s too much trouble to which he mutters away under his breath something about me being tired etc.
I’m
Just venting but honestly this last couple of weeks I’m thinking actually what do you bloody bring to the relationship? Obvs you’re only getting my side. I realise I’m being a bit over the top.

Do not let this man spend another night in your home OP, get a couple of friends around sharpish to take care of your dc, and help you pack him up. Let him go tonight, not your problem where he goes.

I’d get someone over to be with you too.

Or the police. He’s got no right to be there without your permission so trespassing.

Jesus Christ that would ENRAGE me!

Text him back so there’s no mistake. Tell him he can either bring his kids home and leave without drama, or you can start packing for him in front of them, and you’ll have no problem calling the police if he attempts to do anything to stop you.

Do NOT let him away with this. How DARE he dismiss you like that!!!

Teens must have their Mums number surely?

Pack his stuff, tell his children to pack as dad is collecting them soon. Have them ready to go as soon as he arrives with his stuff in a bin bag.

HI OP, I echo what others are saying - get another adult to come to the house to support you. This is on HIM not you, so whatever kicks off in front of his DC is his fault, not yours.

You have woken up now, get them all, him and his mini me useless teens out of your life. And just think of sitting down alone, with your DC, having a nice glass of wine, or cup of tea, watching what you want on TV. Keep angry and focused until he is gone.

The DC have their mum's number - get them to call her and collect them.

Yes get the teens to phone their mum!

Just message him back to take his kids to their mothers and pack his stuff and go.

Can the kids go home on their own or could you ask them for their mum' number and make a call. Let him know that you mean business. Cheeky fucker.

Well done OP.

Cocklodger AND abusive.

What a catch !

He might have just realised the free ride is over. He's saving a minimum of £15000 a year sponging off you. He will try various tactics to keep the free ride. Stop making excuses about the kids, they will be fine at mum's or with dad in a hotel. Get your house back and a bit of breathing space before your children come back

Text back with laughing face emoji and stop being silly

I think this is really going to kick off.

When he comes back and it’s him and HIS kids in your house with you trying to get rid of them-with your history of a lack of assertiveness, I think you’re really going to struggle.

Did you say you’re leaving the house to go to work now?

Can you get home before him and pack up his shit?

You need to ring for back up op. Have someone there for when he gets back.
No more Miss Nice Girl.

I wish we could create a real-life Mumsnet support crew for such situations. . . by our powers combined, cocklodgers would be cast out forthwith. . .

Personally, I'd let them leave at the end of the weekend, but this relationship is over, that should be for sure.

Just because they are still kids (albiet not young ones) and they and their mother don't deserve to have their weekends derailed - she might not even be around and has probably had to put up with a lot of crap from him in the past.

Also, if he's been around for 3 years and your kids have a decent relationship with him, then maybe telling them first and giving them the opportunity to say goodbye etc would be good.

And as much as he's absolutely awful and doesn't deserve treating well, giving him 24 hours to find somewhere to stay sounds like common decency to me. Though he doesn't deserve it that's for sure.

The main thing is though that he needs to go and I'm glad you can see that.

Text back with laughing face emoji and stop being silly
That’s it

Yep, entirely predictable. He has FA respect for you. He's a bullying cunt.

You need someone there with you or even the police.

I don’t think he will be easy to get rid of.

Drop his kids off at their mums they will surely have her number.
Text this gaslighting dismissive waste of space again that you are done he needs to leave that you no longer want to be in a relationship with him.
Enough is enough op reclaim your home from this freeloader.
Repeat txt message we are done you are no longer welcome in my home
It is your home and he has no rights to be in it at all.

@Hugtheduggee that’s just giving him more opportunity to cause problems.

What a patronizing, emotionally abusive woman hater.

Well done for realizing what's really going on here.

I wis h you all the best but unfortunately I agree with a PP, I don't think he will be easy to get rid of.

Do you have friends or family locally who can come round this evening? I think you may benefit from some support and witnesses in case he becomes nasty.

What are you doing now, @keeptakingthepills?

Are you at work? At home?

you now see what he truly thinks of you OP ..... He thinks you are a joke... your house your finances.. your food... your heating... all his now.. and he's laughing at you... Kick his arse out OP

Why are these teens having to be ferried around? Are you in a rural area? That's the only reason I can think of that teens can't get to their mother's under their own power. We're rural and mine ride their bikes into town and one is 12.

If I were you I would a) make him pay his way in terms of bills/food etc and b) leave him to pick up/look after/cook for his own kids. He is massively taking the kids.

Good luck op I will be rooting for you that he leaves quietly and quickly. Be firm, get him out, it’s YOUR home I’m so angry on your behalf! Tell him not to let the door hit him on the arse on his way out 👍 cheeky b@st*rd