Am I being taken for a fool!

[keeptakingthepills]

Agh am irritated and having to hold it in. But am also hormonal so probably irrational.
So two things this week have f**cked me off with my DP.
So DP lives with me and my kids. My home I pay the bills and mortgage, internet, tv etc. I also pay the food bills. He throws in some cash now and again for food. His kids (2DC) stay every other weekend and one night a week. I feed them and cook and tidy for them. So far happy to do so.
But he’s been short of money lately and I’m the higher earner so I said don’t worry I’ll pay the food shopping. Then he tells me he accidentally gave his ex extra money this month as maintenance and then told her don’t worry you keep it. Telling me she needs it as doesn’t earn much and struggles to make ends meet. I’m thinking..great! So I’m basically subbing your ex and paying for your kids to be fed etc while they’re with me. He keeps telling me to stop turning the thermostat down as the house is cold but jeez I’m watching the bills go thru the roof!
Second thing that annoyed me is I worked all day. Then picked his kids up from his ex on my way home and walked in. He’s having a beer. I start getting his kids dinner. He’s doing nothing. I then ask if someone could pass me some plates so I can dish up. Instead he puts them on the table. No big deal so I say sorry can you pass them to me instead so I can dish up. He makes this massive arm flourish action passing me the plates. I say sorry is this a problem for you? He says you said set the table like I was being demanding! In my head I’m thinking you I’m getting your children dinner (mine are at their dads) and you are doing nothing and I just ask for plates and you act like I’m some diva. So I said sorry if it’s too much trouble to which he mutters away under his breath something about me being tired etc.
I’m
Just venting but honestly this last couple of weeks I’m thinking actually what do you bloody bring to the relationship? Obvs you’re only getting my side. I realise I’m being a bit over the top.

No reply yet
I’ll let you know

What a pisstaker!! My ex 'moved in' when his place was being renovated, it meant we didn't have a proper discussion about bills etc and I ended up with higher costs and looking after his daughter as well as my own kids. Didn't last long and he would share cooking and cleaning!
What does he do for you? I understand the feeling that your kids have got a bond with him. When I told my children we'd split, they asked it I was ok, shrugged and were fine.
Believe me, you and your children will be happier when you get this man out. Do it quick!

I think you sound very Lonely and as if you dread going to your own home
You are constantly putting how everyone feels before yours & your kids needs
Why?
You sound terrified of saying no, are you scared of conflict? Have you previously been in abusive relationship ?
I agree with the poster who suggested changing your locks ASAP , I think it’s the only way you will feel safe especially with his habit of just moving in without your permission!
He’s not your friend , I don’t think you even like him that much so why are you even caring about what he thinks and feels
I think your kids will be delighted to get their home back and so will you
Text him first if that is easier but stop procrastinating and get him out
Do you have a family friend who will support you whilst you get him out!

And do expect him to promise you the world, that he'll help out and contribute now. He's going to work hard to not lose his cushy set up.

Good luck OP

You sent it! Well bloody done!

Get the locks changed tomorrow.

Well done. Take no prisoners when he tries to back pedal and wheedle back in. It's bullshit. The man doesn't seem to even like you. Have a friend come round for support if you need it.

And do expect him to promise you the world, that he'll help out and contribute now. He's going to work hard to not lose his cushy set up.

This.

When is he due home?

I predict a dismissive message about you being hormonal and he will discuss it with you when you are home later, i.e. feet superglued under the table.

I predict a dismissive message about you being hormonal and he will discuss it with you when you are home later, i.e. feet superglued under the table.

I agree. I wouldn’t let him back in the door.

When are his kids going home?

What an arse he is! You're doing the right thing

Crikey! As somebody else said, the door is open! Shove him through it and bolt the bloody thing behind him! QUICKLY!

He's an all cocklodger who is gearing up the emotional manipulation.

I expect when you send a message telling him to leave he'll change tactic. Don't fall for any of it.

So he lodges with a mate and then onto you. Good riddance to bad rubbish op

Good work OP. I bet he is the master of excuses, so watch out, don't give him a week, a month anything. You will end up having to sell your house just to get rid of him, like the previous one.

Again I fell asleep watching telly 2 nights ago to find him sitting there saying I’m useless and boring and there must be something wrong with me to be so tired all the time.

Words fail me! He doesn't pay his way and expects you to do most the childcare, and he thinks you're boring? I'm not surprised you're tired. Basically, you have a cocklodger staying with you (along with his kids). He needs to go. Tell him you've had enough and want him to leave. Give him a week to find somewhere else to stay.

Good luck x

thank goodness you have found your anger OP... damn right you deserve way better than this shit you're putting up with .... good luck 🌺

He really is a piece of work OP. Good luck this evening. Just stick to what you said and get rid. Accept no excuses.

Can you phone his kids' mum and ask her to collect them? Then pack his stuff up for him.

Change the locks

Well done OP. Almost free and we’ll all raise a glass with you later on

Let us know how it goes! Get him out one way or another, calm or not!

Yeah, he's being using the hormonal and irrational guff to really bully you. He won't expect you to stand up to him because he's been bulldozing you for years now and getting results so he likely won't take you seriously. Do you have a friend who can come over this evening?

Bring someone home with you. He could get nasty, refuse to move out, refuse to take his kids home tonight. Do not leave him alone in your house in order to pack up. Chances are he'll take stuff belonging to you too, just because he's an abusive cunt. Phone a friend or 2, 3, get them to go home with you, get him to pack his shit and then change the locks.

I’m home. His kids are still here. On their devices.
Text back with laughing face emoji and stop being silly
That’s it
I don’t have the exes number and I don’t want to drag the kids into it. He’ll have to come back soon.