Would you date someone 20 years younger?

[SueDoeName]

I'm so new to on line dating .

I'm 47 . No wrinkles yet. Hated looking younger than my age 20 years ago but now it's quite cool!

I've signed up to a dating site . I've only had 2 relationships in my life . My confidence was rick bottom after my last relationship because he was abusive and made me feel worthless. We were together 5 years and I left never though it killed me.

7 month's happily alone and signed up to a paid dating site. - I honestly couldn't believe the attention I got. Some absolutely beautiful men want to see me . I've had 500 + likes and messages in 3 weeks - been very picky and had 4 dates so far but no spark.

I have several more dates lined up. But
I'm 48 this month and one guy who is super keen and seems really nice is 28. That's the same age as my son. He's made me smile and I'm super flattered but is this just too weird ? He keeps saying age is a number and means nothing. He thinks I'm lovely /gorgeous etc and yeah we've been chatting and he seems mature but ???? Should I be drawing a line here on age? I have previously - hell I've had 3 20 year olds try it and told them absolutely no way! I've had 2 relationships in my life . Wtf am I doing ? Am I safe to be let loose on a dating site ?

I think it depends what you are looking for.

A man who will become your carer when he is 40 might not be keen for a lasting relationship!

Her carer when she's 60?! Bit harsh.

Yeah I was avoiding younger he just kind of got my attention.

(My post wasn't a stealth boast ). I'm bewildered tbh by the attention.

I made a rule for myself, 5 years younger to 10 years older. But it's personal preference

Sorry bad maths as I'm getting into bed!

Haha!

Well I do a job that demands fitness. So I'm in pretty decent shape I suppose.

I do t I tend to be in a care home at 60. According to my pension I'm still meant to be jumping fences and chasing bad guys ....

Enjoy it and go for it but, don’t hang your hat in being forever.

A friend was dating a man 10 years her junior and was good until she hit the menopause. The lack of sex split them up, he met someone his own age and he fucked off into the sunset

Well it would be illegal at the moment as he’d be a child but if I was your age, no. I’d hate the age difference, power imbalance, difference in emotional maturity etc. I’m also not that attracted to much older men. The idea of going out with someone in their late teens/early 20s or 50s plus turns my stomach. My cut off is probably about 7 years either way but I’m definitely most attracted to men in their thirties so the same as me.

I suppose it depends on what you're after. If it's just a bit of fun then there's no harm in it, age is just a number but if this is to be a serious, long term relationship then have you and this guy considered that you're both in different stages of your lives? It's fine if you both want the same things but he might want children himself in years to come and you already have an adult child. I ended a relationship with a guy 19 years older than me because even though his children were young he was adamant that he didn't want anymore. He was a lovely man but it couldn't have worked long term.

I've never had a bit of fun .

I'm not sure I can ! He is so desperate to date and I so reticent.

He is funny and nice and keeps saying he doesn't care because he thinks I'm gorgeous etc and course that's flattering but ??? He is 20 years my junior.
I've already said I'm absolutely not into casual relationships.

I'm not even sure I'm ready for dating full stop - ex still has power to reduce me to tears and today I blocked. I have to move on.

God no! He'd be at such a different stage of his life to me..

I'm so happy as a I am I really do t feel a "need" to date anyone at all right now .

He was just so keen and I guess I'm flattered by that. If he wants very different things to me now I'd be the first to say that to him. No beating around the bush for me now .

No, never. I just couldn't find them attractive in that way.

It’s flattery. What when you really think about it, what would you have in common with a 28 yr old. Comparatively what life experiences does he actually have, is he even single? How would your own son feel about his Mum dating someone this age? I’d be inclined to flag this one, nice as he might seem.

Go for it if you want to.
I am with a man 18 years younger than me. I wasn’t sure if it would last but it has so far. We have been together 5 years. I am 45 he is 27.
I to was in a violent long term relationship with a man my own age so same age doesn’t mean it’s the perfect relationship.
I know one day my partner may rally want children. We have spoke about it and he said his live for me is more than his desire for his own child. He is happy to be step dad to my two. I am aware this may change but I hope not. I live him more than I ever loved my exh.

*love

No way but that's me. I wouldn't judge someone else for doing so. Just not my thing. My son is 20 years younger and so for one that would be weird, two every friend or associate of his I've met has been noticeably immature and I wouldn't have the patience for that nor the ability to even fake it.

And then there's the other side. At 70 & 90 the gap would be hugely obvious. So for me, no, for others I don't care as long as it's not me.

Well I always feel men that date women significantly younger on the sleazy sad side.

I suppose if it was just a casual short term thing but anything serious long term just wouldn't work, for a whole world of reasons.

70 and 90? I think there would be issues way before that. Not least fertility.

If you have had over 500 replies I'm sure you could find someone closer to your age that you will like. Don't be blinded by the flattery of someone so much younger finding you attractive. Do you really have enough in common to sustain a relationship and will it damage your relationship with your son? If you haven't even met yet I would avoid getting involved with him and go for a man closer to your age. I would say the same to a man and about a man 20 years older than you.

They want sex and Tinder makes it easy. Sometimes sex with a sexy older woman is a box to tick or a fetish.

Nah! I'm 45 soon and my son is 26. It would feel like weird dating someone the same age as my ds.

Personally I wouldn't but I don't see why you shouldn't just meet him if that is what you want to do. There is something about late 20s chaps really fancying older woman. I know this as my friend just recently started dating again, she is the same age as you and every date she has had so far, none of the chaps have been over 32. She is ok about it, it bumps up her self esteem and they are ok about it as I suppose they get to tick that box as a pp said. None of it is serious though, they are just hook ups. She doesn't hear from them again after they hook up in most cases from what I can make out. But it suits her, so I don't see the harm.

No, they would be 12!

If I was single and met someone I liked, got on with etc who was twenty years older I wouldn’t discount them due to age.

He wants to snare a MILF and will turn on the charm and wait until you have developed feelings until he gets his way. This happens all the time. Dont do this to yourself or your son.