Would you date someone 20 years younger?

[SueDoeName]

I'm so new to on line dating .

I'm 47 . No wrinkles yet. Hated looking younger than my age 20 years ago but now it's quite cool!

I've signed up to a dating site . I've only had 2 relationships in my life . My confidence was rick bottom after my last relationship because he was abusive and made me feel worthless. We were together 5 years and I left never though it killed me.

7 month's happily alone and signed up to a paid dating site. - I honestly couldn't believe the attention I got. Some absolutely beautiful men want to see me . I've had 500 + likes and messages in 3 weeks - been very picky and had 4 dates so far but no spark.

I have several more dates lined up. But
I'm 48 this month and one guy who is super keen and seems really nice is 28. That's the same age as my son. He's made me smile and I'm super flattered but is this just too weird ? He keeps saying age is a number and means nothing. He thinks I'm lovely /gorgeous etc and yeah we've been chatting and he seems mature but ???? Should I be drawing a line here on age? I have previously - hell I've had 3 20 year olds try it and told them absolutely no way! I've had 2 relationships in my life . Wtf am I doing ? Am I safe to be let loose on a dating site ?

Im 49 and i would start watchingva lot of dating clips. Matthew hussey. Amy young. There are lots. It is a fucking jungle out there and sometimes younger men relax and seek us out because we dont want to get married and have kidscand that is attractive to them. but it can erode the self esteem when somebody you like sees it as so OBVIOUS the pair of you could never be serious that it does not even require discussion!!

I had a man merely 4 years younger behave like that though. I was 44 and hecwas 40 and it went without ssying to him that he would meet somebody younger and get serious with her. I found it a bit wtf that that was something he thought should be obvious to me. Like his value was higher to him than my value was. He decided i shoukd just enjoy it out of gratitude 🤣

So be careful op.
28 is not a child so you could well end up with feelings. If you caught feels he would be surprised. Even though when he is 48 himself he wont think it ridiculous that a 28 year old could consider him a love prospect!

Nope. I would feel like I was out treating my son.

I would go for it OP, but treat it as a bit of fun only. Who knows, you may meet him and there maybe zero chemistry....or there may be loads...
Life is for living, you are both adults at the end of the day, age is just a number. I tend to go for younger guys as I look a lot younger than my age and I've had abusive relationships in the past and I now feel safer with younger guys.

Just be careful he's not looking at you from a cocklodging point of view! You're likely to be better off than he is and maybe own a home.

I sort of had this on OLD once, albeit with a slightly smaller age gap. This 25 year old guy was desperately keen to meet up, kept going on about how beautiful I was. In the end I just got suspicious of his motives. Being completely blunt about it, if his pictures really were of him, he was built like a Greek god, and I am a saggy, middle-aged woman who still has hormonal acne. He could easily have had someone more attractive than me who was his own age, so I had to ask myself what he wanted with me.

This guy might be completely genuine, I don't know. You're the only one who can judge but you need to approach this with a heavy dose of reality. Unfortunately not everyone on there has good intentions.

I’m 37 and would not date a man in their 20’s, no way. What would we even talk about?

20 years younger and super keen, sorry OP, but I would be worried he is trying to scam me or he has a strange fetiche for women who could provide a mother figure. 10 years, maybe, 20 nope.

Besides, perimenopause is a bitch. I am your age, I looked 35-38 only 3 years ago. I look decidedly my age these days.

Ok thanks all.

I decided no.

He messaged me this morning but I've ignored for now . I'll find a way of saying no nicely. He seemed nice and quite genuine but I'm not the best judge of character!
X

Honestly? I've done it and I'd never do it again. My last partner was 18 years younger and incredibly immature. We wanted totally different things, despite what he said at the start and he basically couldn't keep his dick in his pants. Tread carefully would be my advice.

He wants a mild notch on his bedpost. Glad to see you've declined.

Your son would be worried you were eyeing up all his mates.

No, I wouldn't .

I think you've made the right decision.
Personally no I wouldn't date anyone under 30. I'd be very suspicious of any 20 something bloke on a dating site though, that's just me. I've had shit experiences so I'm wary.

Heck no. He'd never get half my references being that much younger and I'd worry he'd be looking for a meal ticket.

I was in your shoes last year, op, had no interest in younger men but one stood out and seemed really kind and sweet. We decided to meet for coffee and become friends at least.

Upshot is we're now engaged and getting married later this year
and couldn't be happier.

I see in your case you've decided not to meet him, op but I just wanted to say they're lots of genuine men with good intentions out there no matter what their age.

Good call OP. Lots of people are very naive and don't read the newly married now a carer boards!

@Usernaming, is your fiancé 20 years younger than you?

OP, he's desperate for a date as thinks as you're older than him you'll be easily flattered into bed. Or that you'll pay his bills.

If you just want to sleep with him go for it. Otherwise leave well alone.

@Usernaming do you own your own home?
Does he?

@SalmonOfKnowledge

I don't own my own home, he owns his own home [no mortgage]
You're a cynical lot.

I've gone out with 20 years younger. I'm 49. Generally with that big a gap they do only want sex.

The line blurs a bit at about a 14 year gap. I've had a brief relationship with a man 14 years younger that ended for reasons other than age and a couple of others that were looking for something more than sex who were mid 30s. Also a man of mid 30s quite often does have children already which makes a difference.

I think that's a good call. Someone who seemed overly keen before we'd even met would put me off, especially if he kept making overblown statements about my attractiveness. That would apply to anyone, not just a younger guy, but unfortunately, the age gap would make me additionally suspicious that he saw me as a soft touch for a bit of flattery.

It depends really.

Firstly you’d have to filter out the men looking for sex with a more experienced woman, cocklodgers, immature guys looking for a mummy to care for them and guys you have nothing in common with. That’s if you’re looking for a relationship.

If it’s just sex go for it.

My DH is four years younger than me and we have so much in common but exH who was nine years older than me had nothing in common with me.

No no no!!

I've been online dating on and off for years! And there are loads of young men wanting to date older women.

It's seeming quite a common fantasy with young men, the Mrs Robison, teaching them about sex.

OP if you're on POF, I'd delete profile and try Tinder or Bumble. As a newbie OLDater, I would advise you to stay away from POF.

Remember it's flattering but you do not know they are who they say they are. Don't sext them!!

Ah sorry missed your update! Well done.

And you don't have to message him, it's OLD, just leave it there!