I am a counsellor, and to be honest there is nothing wrong with going to speak to someone even about the most "banal" things. We need to treat mental and emotional health like physical health. If you have a physical problem it is advisable to speak to a medical professional.
I just have a problem with turning people into adult babies that can't cope with the smallest adversity in life. Which will inevitably happen when we create a society where we nurse non-wounds, and set the precedence that that's normal. We will get to a point where people will feel a need to get counselling for waking up 5 minutes late. Because we treat these sort of issues as serious problems. No offence, but as a counsellor you have an agenda in wanting people to seek counselling for silly things. It makes you money, does it not? Probably easy money, too.
This, again, seems to be your opinion, as you have mentioned many times in posts above. I am wondering if part of your non feminist views are to see women as not equal to men and as such should fall into a more traditional role.
Not at all. I am traditional in some ways, but certainly not in other ways. I have read many threads on here where I actually get upset that women don't look after themselves more. For instance, when women write they have given up on their careers, rights, happiness, self respect, etc. in order for their men to advance their's. I think there's nothing more powerful than an independant woman that can do things on her own terms (of course with some reasonable compromises, because relationships do consist of two people, not just oneself).
'This is entirely your own choice and if you choose to be a more traditional "wife/partner" then nobody has a right to question*
I don't want to be a traditional wife...
that but if someone is in a situation where they feel IN ANY WAY less than because of something their partner has said or done then it is, in fact, abuse, be it emotional, psychological, physical or verbal.
I totally agree. But I don't think it's right for people on an anonymous forum to label something, that on paper, sounds banal as abuse. I can understand when people do it in threads where the person wants to know if their experiences can be labelled as abuse - but I have seen threads where people just mention normal problems, and posters will claim they are in an abusive relationship without the OP even mentioning anything about feeling abused. That's out of order, I think.
Your attitude to moving in with your partner is indeed something that I would discuss with a client as it seems to be more than a privacy issue. I'm wondering if you think that your partner would see you as less desirable or less of a woman if he is aware that you have human bodily functions?
That's a good question. I'm not really worried about those things, no. It's more my own embarrassment. Some people mentioned they just laugh about farting, and whatnot...I don't think I could do that. I think I'd feel even worse and more embarrassed if something I'm already embarrassed about was made into a joke. That's like poking at someone's insecurity, I guess. It's not funny to me.
*I am not suggesting that you need to do any of the behaviours you do not wish to so (again privacy is a personal matter) but there is a difference between intimacy and privacy.
It is interesting that you haven't mentioned sex itself (or maybe I missed that) Would you find the sights/sounds/smells of sexual intercourse to be acceptable for example?*
Funny enough, I'm very confident about my body, nudity and sex. I have no issues with that at all. It's more the bathroom stuff I have an issue with.
I'm wondering if you are able to let yourself be yourself in that type of intimate scenario or if indeed that is also a difficult task for you privacy wise?
No issue in those regards...
You also mentioned that you have seen boys be protective of little girls etc. This is all learned behaviour and is socially constructed. This type of behaviour is learned from the moment we are born. There are many factors which can affect this. There are many books and papers on early childhood development which show the types of social constructs we adapt due to our surroundings.
This is what everyone has been saying, but I'm still not a believer of it, sadly, hehe.
In conclusion, no I don't think people advise people to speak to a counsellor for banal reasons, I think it is a very helpful thing to do ( not only as a counsellor but also as someone who has had many years of counselling myself) Your comment was very defensive when counselling was suggested which makes one wonder why you feel it a counselling suggestion is a criticism?
I didn't see it as a criticism, and I actually didn't take the comment about getting counselling personally insulting. As I mentioned in my initial reaction, I just got a bit annoyed that "counselling" seem to be the solution that is given for everything, even things that don't really require counselling. That's all. If you can afford to get counselling for banal reasons, sure, go ahead and get it. But we also have to remember that not everyone have the option to go to a counsellor whenever they have a big problem, let alone a little problem.
I have nothing against counselling, I have even been helped by a psychologist when I was in Uni and suddenly started to get performance anxiety (have never had any history of anxiety prior). Only a few months of speaking to a psychologist truly changed my life.
For the record I don't use the toilet in front of my partner but I don't judge people who do, it's a personal choice.
That's great, my friend. I also don't judge anyone who does, but as you have probably gathered, it's hard for me to do what they do. But I think I can definitely learn from women who are more comfortable in these regards than I am!
Thanks for your time and interest, I appreciate it.