Hi lovely warrior women. Today has been quite a day. I have turned a corner and the love has gone. I’ve cried my last tears. I’ve wasted enough of my previous time on someone who wasn’t worthy and is never going to be worthy. It’s time to take my power back. I’m fed up of being treated like a fool.
@BunnyandBee, I’m glad we agree about Valentine’s Day. Also interested to read about your journaling. I had no anticipation of discovering the affair because it had never crossed my mind that he was dishonest. Discovery was soul-destroying. With my now objective head on I can see that I am much better off on my own than with this weak, cowardly man. At least I have some time in which to rebuild my life and it is going to be happy. I hope that, very soon, I need never have to see him again. It’s weird that somewhere in his disordered head he still feels the need to compete with me, and show off to try to impress me. He’s failing miserably and not for the first time.
@Debis, I am so sorry for your pain. I’ve been there. They don’t feel guilt, they don’t feel remorse. All they feel is smug satisfaction in getting their own way and doing what they want. They are disordered personalities. Don’t torture yourself because he isn’t worth it. He really isn’t.
@Emmerdaledramaqueen, I don’t think you realise how well you are doing! You are much, much stronger than you think. I am in awe of the steps you have taken. They have to deny the affairs because otherwise they will ‘look bad’ and people might make judgements about them. It’s all image management for them. You are offering plenty of support here, just by posting you make others feel better.
@Bigpooh13, you sound better after your break. I wish I had a brother to reach out to. You are writing stuff down too. I think we all have a book in us somewhere to write and make our fortunes. I could make the last 12 months into a thriller. Big, you’ve come so far since the start and sound much more focused on looking after your needs.
@thegrassisgreenernow, so good to hear from you. Don’t dismiss the screenplay idea. It could work! Out of adversity comes triumph! You have had such a hard time, emotionally. Trying to work things out, and then discovering that he had continued living a lie. We are honest people so can’t understand the behaviour of those who are so dishonest. They deserve all the karma they get.
@Tinydancer123, welcome back. No obligation to post. It’s good to know that you are ok but I’m sad that times are hard for you. Stay as strong as you can. Be kind to yourself.
@ThelmaAndLouise2020, thank you for your very kind words. My STBXH and his ex from times gone by (prehistory) don’t think I’m lovely. In fact they can’t wait to get shot of me and I can’t wait to get shot of them. They make me feel unclean! I’m at a similar stage to you but without the hopium. It’s liberating to decide that, no matter the hardship ahead, I wouldn’t touch him with an extra long barge pole. My anger is with myself for having been fooled by him for so long. But the news about your job is brilliant and you are going to have so much more independence. What an exciting new world awaits you. On the journal, I’m not advocating leaving it out, but it might not do him any harm to read what you really think about him.
Finally, Big, you know he’s a cheat and a liar. You don’t want that life back. There’s something better than that out there for you, and all of us.
Sleep well everyone. xx