Some Friendly Words - Support Group

[ASmallBoxofChocolateBunnies]

Hello, I thought I'd get us started in our new place.

Kind of imagining it full of comfy chairs and sofas, with hot cups of tea an hand along with a well-stocked bar.

Welcome all xx

@Bigpooh13, oh dear, he’s got himself stuck between a rock and a hard place! Yoga might be good for your injury, even if you fall over (we all do that sometimes). I’m sure that tomorrow will be full of even more excitement. Sleep 😴 well.

@SoTiredTonight, good night and looking forward to hearing from the HRT supercharged you! 😀

Good night all. The Archers await xx

Good morning ladies. I’ve been reading Runaway Husbands and finding it very useful.
I’ve also started writing down whenever I obsess and what about. Reading it back hours later it’s like the rantings of a mad woman!
Instructive and demonstrates how I’m self sabotaging and wasting my time.
Onwards! Hope today will be a better one for us all.

Morning everyone. I hope we are clad in our suede Warrior Women suits raring to go. Mine is on and I’m saying a few mantras to get me moving. ‘We’ve got this’.

@Filly2011, morning. I found Runaway Husbands useful too, not least because it helped me to feel less of a freak at the start, when I couldn’t work out what was going on. Writing thoughts down is such a good idea. When you read it back in the future, when life has settled down, you will see how far you have come. It’s also useful when tempted to break no contact; writing down what you would say takes the sting out.

I’ve done lots of self sabotaging and time wasting (still do). When I wasn’t sleeping very much, wasting time and obsessing were about all I could manage. Things are slowly improving and I feel more resilient. Then a bad day comes, but they are getting fewer. I try not to be jealous of other people’s apparently happy lives by reminding myself that that was me once, and no one knows what the future holds no matter how certain it may seem.

Let’s keep moving forward today, working on our goals, our children, our futures. All power to our spear-holding biceps.

Love to all struggling with the new turn of events. 😘❤️

I’ve woken up today and just can’t. I’ve got a lot of pelvic pain so I’ve called in sick. I feel like I need a day to just take stock and fall apart a bit. Well done everyone warrioring, you will be my inspiration tomorroe

@Feckthisshit2020, morning sweetie. It’s ok to take a sick day, so don’t worry about that. Falling apart is ok too. Try to limit the length of time you spend doing that though. Pick one tiny task that you want to get started today and spend 5 minutes on it. If you feel like carrying on, do a bit more. Then when you look back on the day you will have a sense of achievement. Take good care of yourself. xx

@Feckthisshit2020 burrow down and look after yourself today. I had the odd day in bed at the beginning. It’s all part of the healing process. Xx

I'm coming out of the time wasting phase and it feels gud for the time being anyway.

I've had days not doing anything.
It really is your body telling you enough I need rest. The words running around your head.

I hate seeing older couples walking about hand in hand as that was us.
Have to use the FO face.

@Bigpooh13 know what you mean about loved up couples. I can’t even watch it on telly!

@Filly2011 and @Bigpooh13, I feel the same about loved up couples, as it was us until recently (part of the lying). Can’t stand it. We are normal and we have feelings. xx

Have any of you had any experience of hypnotherapy to help with anxiety?
Just wondering if it would help me with fear of driving alone.

@Filly2011, an interesting question. I had hypnotherapy many years ago without having any idea what I was having it for! I had more money than sense then. I found it relaxing but couldn’t say whether it helped me because I didn’t know what the problem I was trying to sort out was. I over thought it as well, so I wasn’t sure whether I was hypnotized or not 🤷‍♀️.

It probably would help with anxious feelings about driving. I’m sure it would. EDMR therapy is supposed to be excellent if people have had a car accident/PTSD. Another practical suggestion is how about taking advanced driving lessons? That would build up your confidence and give you bragging rights! 😊

Thanks superb. To know I'm not alone. I was watching The Split I like it but it bloody hurts n makes me cry as its us reversed. Bloody dickhead .
Still have denial days.

@Bigpooh13, The Split is good but can be quite a hard watch. However seeing the affair between Hannah and Christie develop and her choices is helpful to me. Nathan is a much nicer man than Christie (who seems to me to be deranged like my STBXH). Yes, Nathan had a dalliance with an escort but Hannah’s affair is different. Have you seen the last episode of season 2 yet? xx

I found Christie really annoying, clingy and creepy. And I may have shouted "you stupid cow" at Hannah a fair bit too! Gahhhh. Wankers.

No not seen last episode yet. Just font know where her head is at. Feeling for nathan. Yep Christy abit deranged but has been in love with her for years just like my son of a bitch husband. Still live him really the handsome bastard but hes fat at the moment. Hes tall ,dark and beautiful piercing blue eyes. I've had to put up with women falling all over him for years beautiful women then he ends up with shrek. Oh well cant help who you fall in love with. 🤣💔🤯

@caketimeisover, I agree about Christie. He comes across as a stalking slime ball. I don’t believe he cares about Hannah. He wants to ‘win’ against Nathan because he’s jealous of Nathan’s family, wife and kids. Hannah seems to be flattered by his attention, but then she never looks like the happiest of women (Nicola Walker is a great actor). If you saw season 1 there was a brilliant affair story line with Meera Syal and Stephen Tompkinson. Meera Syal’s character was completely blindsided in a horrible way, but she won out in the end. Her ex was left to his miserable life.

@Bigpooh13, I don’t think Christie is really in love with her. He’s a mess. Well at least the fat is a comfort (like mine’s grey jowliness). Small karmic victories. 😀

Yes loved season 1 blindsided was so true. I was like omg . Atlast someone on telly was showing what really happens the cold way.

Seeing solicitor next week he wants to speed things up. Sobbing now I dont want to be divorced a sad old cat lady. Left in her house to be eaten by her cats.

@Bigpooh13, I’m so sorry that he wants to speed things up. I’ve been there and it hurts. There’s nothing I can say to make this moment feel better and it’s worse when you’re on your own. But we are here for you. You are definitely not going to be a sad old cat lady. You are much too positive to be that. You are a woman of the world but you are stuck in a limbo like I was and quite often still am. We will be ok, I am certain. We are being held back by these old relationships. We have to look forward. Sob here if that helps. You are among friends. 😘😘🤗

Coming to terms with actually getting divorced, that being your story, is really hard. But it's better to say "I'm divorced" than "I'm married to a selfish asshole who lacks values, character, empathy and all the important things that you actually want to see in a human being". DICKHEADS.

@caketimeisover, you have made me laugh so much that I am treating myself to a Chinese takeaway delivered to my door which I was never allowed to do when what you said above lived here! 😆 ThNk you so much for that. You have summed it up perfectly. I’ll think of you when I finish a long day of work and tuck into my chicken curry 🍛

@ThelmaAndLouise2020, have you started your new job? If so, how’s it going? Fingers crossed 🤞

Thankyou . Superb. And to cake time
That's one way to look at it. Lol

Still disbelief I'm afraid but hey ho his loss.

I could definitely do without world book day! And mindfuckery. He says he wants to change. Never do this again and be better for all of us.

Which might be good. Except he’s currently in the pub. Part of getting space to change apparently. I call bullshit. And would like tips on how to turn a Santa hat into a Paddington hat...

@Feckthisshit2020 listen to your body, I didn’t and have now had an extended period off work due to stress reaction, a Santa hat into Paddington I’m afraid I’d need a magician, did manage to use hemming tape to attach badges today!
@SuperbMonkey I do hope you enjoyed your dinner you certainly deserve it.
@Bigpooh13 I was very struck by your post about hopium and thinking that’s where I’ve been however, having extremely bad news to break to dd tonight to seek support to be told “you’ll just have to sit down and tell her” with no follow-up to check how she took it has hardened me again. Have finally started the Paul McKenna book and will rid myself of this if I have to read/practice it forever!
Sorry, for the rant ladies, wishing us all peace and rest tonight. Xx

@Feckthisshit2020 oh god world book day. I lucked out this year, they get to go to school in their PJs instead of costumes! Some of the mums were whinging about no dressing up, I just feel very very happy.

Hmmm santa hat to Paddington... If you fold the white bit up and inside at the bottom and the pointy bit down in on itself at the top you'll have... a red thing that doesn't look much like a Paddington hat. Nope I'm done.

Why the fuck is he in the pub? It's not what he says it's his actions that count. It's no good saying I want to fix things and then fucking off down the pub leaving you 6 months pregnant at home making a sodding Paddington costume. How are you feeling about this latest headfuck? Must be so so hard. We're here and will support you whatever you want to do! He is a massive knobhead though.

@caketimeisover- that is exactly what I have done...and that is exactly what it looks like!! I think Paddington’s hat might have got lost on the boat?!

Exactly. It’s just more words. Self serving and meaningless. I’m lonely and sad but he’s made his choices.