@Bigpooh13, gah, the dad thing! No, no, no! Certainly helps with the closure though. Yours is such a plonker, isn’t he? I love the idea of him sweating at what to do with the little reminders etc. She sounds unhinged – burning stuff? I can see why she’s so attractive to him – not!
@SuperbMonkey I think a slump is always to be expected after an adrenaline rush, especially as it’s mixed in with anxiety. I am glad you feel better after some food and a natter.
I definitely agree with you that pampering is good for the soul. As is buying more bedding a new set of tea/coffee/sugar containers, which I did today. New kitchenware not quite as luxurious as a facial, but they are very shiny!
Three interviews! You are an absolute goddess, you really are. I am so pleased for you. I bet some of the grey jowliness is not just an act for you, but a very real reflection of how off kilter he must feel. Even if he doesn’t know the details, he must see your strength and awesomeness, and it unmans him.
The thing about that part of me that 'knows' he’ll be back, well I don’t even know if I would want him back. It’s just this odd little bit of my stupid brain. I can’t lie, I am very much missing my ‘person’ again at the moment, there have been a few little anniversaries of sorts over the past weeks which have been tough. But he isn’t that person any more. I don’t like the new person. This version speaks quite spectacular nonsense that even he doesn’t seem to believe. He’s a bit embarrassing really. Maybe it’s like Bigpooh mentions, it’s just a sense that there’s more to come in this little adventure. Hmmm.
I’m actually finding the pity makes things a little easier. Maybe because I don’t respect him it’s easier to challenge his shit - even though having to speak with him nearly brings on a panic attack – go figure!!??
@Sadsammy, sorry you’re slumping too. Definitely sounds like trading down. Ugly and younger sounds like insecurity on his part. I think so many of these wankbadgers have some crisis in terms of having a sense of their own mortality, lots of navel gazing, self-pity and general wankerdom, and because they are simple beings, they can’t cope with it. It’s not something we do in the same way I think. And rather than do the grown up thing and talk things through, they panic. We are too grounded and brilliant for them, so they flap around on some nostalgia quest for lost youth, often paired with the desire for someone who will be blinded by their apparent fabulousness. We won’t do because we know them too well – we just reflect their weakness back at them. So please nurture your self-esteem – he is the one, they are the ones, with self-esteem in the toilet, and deservedly so because they are giant man-babies.
Reading your later post, yes definitely trading down. It is pathetic. Mine’s the same. He’s with someone he was never unkind about, but definitely felt superior to, in fact that sums up most of his situation now. It’s all stuff and people he pretty much looked down on. The person I knew would have hated all this, so god knows what mental contortions he is having to pull off.
I love the idea of the notes, but I think keeping it as a lovely idea is probably best. Unless you know how to say filthily rude things in an obscure language…?
@Feckthisshit2020, yep been there. Wear the badge with pride. You’ve done nothing wrong. Yes it smarts (or worse – bloody stump pretty much sums it up, @Filly2011) but you are entitled to get weepy and angry because he’s treating you appallingly. I wish when I’d done it mine had stopped talking to me, rather than incessantly and oh so reasonably try and justify his actions. I look back and wish I’d fed him to hyenas. Not that I had any handy, but you get the sentiment.
Big hugs and wishes for good sleep, fab Warriors.
xx