Lost another long post but my fault for clicking off the page!
Morning all. Adrenaline has flattened off today, so feeling slightly tired but ready for the next onslaught. Apologies if I miss anyone out.
@SoTiredTonight, I just picked up on your post about children. I do have regrets about that. Looking back I have not planned my life well, but have let it happen to me. I have also been too much influenced by the desires and needs of others, and have squashed my desires and needs into a matchbox. I made myself less than nothing, particularly in the marriage. That was my responsibility not his. So the regrets are around that. Not having children makes this situation easier in many respects but also harder in terms of emptiness and loneliness. I know that I have to fill that gap by caring for myself. 🤗 to you.
@Bigpooh13
Sorry that you are in the same boat, but harder in a different way having brought up the OW’s kids. Your friend sounds lovely, and I hope you felt cherished. I am sure she boosts your self esteem and his friend said your new hair was ‘rocking’. Take the compliments when you get them and believe them if you can. You come across as a fun person to spend time with and I can imagine that you have lots of laughs with your friends. ❤️
@thegrassisgreenernow, thanks for the kick up the bottom! I needed that. You are right. Thanks for spurring us on in your suede warrior suit! We do have to reclaim our lives and ourselves and tell them to get lost. What you say about being our own priority now is very true. I’ve realise, though, that I hadn’t been his priority for a long time. Perhaps I never was, but was just being used as a convenience. That’s sad. 😞. Thank you for the reminder though.
@Filly2011, please don’t say that you are stupid or blame yourself. You’re not stupid or in the wrong. Your H started this. He had an affair behind your back. When he was dumped, he made no effort to do the right thing by you. He made yawning noises when you were on the phone, he was cruel, and he made it clear that he preferred her to you. He is old enough to have learnt better manners at the very least! The OW made a public show of unity with her husband. Your H decides that he wants to spend a day with you but entirely on his own terms. Those terms turned out not to be acceptable to you. You asked a question and his response shows you who he is. Please believe him. He could have reacted calmly and politely. He didn’t do that. And then you get blamed.
You are strong and financially secure. You know what you should do and sooner rather than later. He says what he feels you want him to say to keep you sweet and to get what he wants. His heart isn’t in it. I’m in the same situation. I have listened to the denials over and over again. He says and does things that are supposed to suck me back in, to feel sorry for him, to roll over. Then he gets angry when I mention the denied affair, over the money, accuses me of not being kind! 😢 and 😤 faces. It’s rubbish! 🤗
@Feckthisshit2020, you’re packing a punch this morning. Good for you. All your words of support to Filly are true and insightful. I am going to remember this today. I hope you have a really good one. 😘
Stay strong warriors, whatever the day brings. Xx