How long to wait for sex . . .

[Booker82]

Well, obviously there isn't a definite answer to this question, but I was just interested in people's thoughts and experiences.

I started seeing an incredible woman near the end of last year. We met through an app and get on really well. It's been a couple of months now and we've not had sex yet. I'm absolutely fine with this as I just enjoy spending time with her and getting to know her (dates are usually just round at her house as she's got a younger child).

I guess I was just wondering how long others had waited before having sex and if 2-3 months is absurdly long. We're both over 35 and I was in a very long term relationship up until a year ago (so haven't dated in a very very long time).

Take the poor woman out. There are such things as babysitters.

It’s different for everyone, what suits one couple doesn’t suit another. Personally I have waited three months and four months.

Good to hear that others waited too.
I think I will discuss it soon, but I just know that we're both happy right now really getting to know each other.

I think if I hadn't been in such a long term relationship before, I may be in more if a rush.

Pay for a babysitter and go out on dates.

I usually give it about five hours

I’m usually one hour 🙈

My first date with DP was for the sole intention of having sex. No way would I wait 2-3 months. And I wouldn't be viewing this as a relationship just yet so no introductions to children.

Sorry OP, I know you're limited but this sounds boring as hell, especially in the beginning stages.

Have to agree with @Qwerty543

All sounds a bit dull

I’m going to be honest. If the man hadn’t made the moves by now I’d probably be wondering if there’s something wrong with you. You need to take it to the next level!
People have sex with kids in the house all the time. Wait til the child is asleep then get on with it.

Ha. Well, I appreciate the thoughts. It certainly doesn't feel dull to us at the moment, but guess we're all different.

I'd definitely consider it a relationship, but again, guess we all focus on different things. Don't get me wrong, sex is important, but only part of the big picture for me.

I couldn't really comprehend aiming to have sex on the first date tbh. It's interesting reading this site. There's another thread on the first page where people are telling a guy that buying flowers for a third date might be too much. It's crazy (in a great way) to see so many wide-ranging views.

Maybe you’ve got hold of the sex-mad lot on here tonight OP

It's not 'sex mad' to be having sex a couple of months into a relationship. it's normal. It's part of developing intimacy and love and all that. what's not wise is to introduce someone to your kids before you've even fucked them. THAT'S weird

I’m not implying it is newname - I’m one of the sex-mad lot myself! Op was saying there’s another thread where posters are telling guys that buying flowers on a third date is too much - never mind sex! Maybe they are the frigid bunch?!

Frigid?! What dreadful terminology @ShesGotBetteDavisEyes

I suppose it is a weird thin line - sticking your dick in on the first date isn't weird, but buying flowers too soon is...! I believe everyone should do what they're comfortable with. But sex is important for me. If you don't have that and physical intimacy, what do you have? Friendship? I dunno. Good luck op

Why are you rushing along meeting the dc?

Sex is definitely important to me too. I guess I just want to build up everything else first. I don't hugely want to be in a relationship just because we enjoy sex together.

I do find it odd some find it weird that we'd introduce each other to our children though. We both definitely feel like this is a long term thing and have made a great connection. If the children weren't happy with everything between us, then it wouldn't matter to me if the sex was award winning.

It's like you're trying to skip through all the getting to know each other and go straight into domestic life together. Which is stupid when you have kids to think about.

Huh?

Not sure how we're skipping the get to know you stuff. That's all we're doing at the moment. Tbh, I can't think how I could get to know her more than I do now. The main thing for both of us is making sure we know and trust everything enough for the sake of the kids.

You've only been seeing each other a couple of months and you're wanting to involve the children, that's rushing it.

Interesting take. Fair enough. Doesn't feel rushed to me.

My children are both teenagers and certainly wanted to meet the last if been seeing.

We're not introducing me to her child yet as she's a lot younger. Plus, the child's father has introduced a number of women he'd been seeing (none of the relationships lasted more than a few months).

Your relationship hasn't lasted more than a few months either tbh.

No, I didn't say it had. Weird comment. Especially seeing that I actually made the point to say that's one of the reasons we're taking it slower with introducing me to her child.

And you're hanging out at her place in some sort of quasi-domestic scenario. I don't think your girlfriend is showing good judgement, and I hope she's not continually cooking for you.

I made the comment because you seem to be making long term plans with someone you've snogged and sat in the house with. You're both rushing the big stuff and hanging back on the little stuff. It all sounds quite bizarre to me.