So sad but can't prove spiked drink ended my relationship

[Opentooffers]

I can't believe the behaviour my BF explained I was doing after midnight on NY. Granted, I had had a fair amount to drink, but not the first time in life I've had a fair bit. The trouble is I have hours missing where I apparently flirted with others in front of my BF (really not like me, I was very happy with my BF), then made out with his work colleague right in front of him and when asked by him to come away with him refused. I have no memory of what this work colleague even looks like.
Hindsight is a beautiful thing, I had similar blank episodes about 20 years ago after someone offered me a free drink - it was my first on in the club, I was young and naive at the time.
I don't remember walking home after, until I got in my street. I've reported it on 101 but I can tell by the attitude of the PO he thought I was just another drunk person who did something they shouldn't and is looking for excuses. I just know in my heart and head that something is not right about the whole thing. One minute I was tidly but fine, then scared, then blank.
I can't ever hope that my BF will believe me if the police don't can I? Up until the blank, the night had been magical, I was so loved up. Now I'm confused, upset, feel violated and the whole thing is a mess. My BF wont communicate with me, can't say I blame him on the face of it. It's just not something I would do or have done before when drunk, I don't get it. Just feel so sad and sould destroyed by it, can't stop the tears. I'm convinced my drink got spiked, but nobody else is likely to believe me. Gutted, is therer anything more I can do?

Bump!

Tbh it does sound more like you got more pissed than expected and acted out. If your drink was spiked you'd be more likely to pass out, be ill etc, it wouldn't make you flirt with strangers.

Speak to the colleague... if he says you snogged each other then you snogged each other ... I'd take anything your Ex BF says at this point with a pinch of salt.. he sounds angry and pissed off.. speak to the colleague directly.. nobody else... and do not be too hard on yourself OP..

I agree with trees. Being spike would make you extremely I'll likely to pass out not go round flirting and snogging someone. By you're own admission you consumed quite abit of alcohol. When was younger I've drunk enough to only remember half the night but I wasnt spiked.

Sorry OP sounds like you got pissed , made mistakes and now regret it. Your BF is right to be pissed off and I definitely wouldn't forgive you if I was him.

Would you forgive him if it was the other way round. I’ve been so drunk that I’ve not be able to remember certain things but definitely wasn’t spiked! I hate when people assume they must have been spiked because they don’t remember things after drinking.

I didn't have a normal hangover the next day, it just felt odd, fuzzy and detached but no headache.I've been drunk and single, drunk and in a relationship and never acted like I've been told I have done.
Its just not me. Having looked up symptoms it's entirely possible I was spiked. Also, exBF's mate who was there has admitted to spiking his drink in the past. I only have the colleagues first name and I don't remember a thing about him so would be difficult to find him as I can't ask my ex but thanks for advice on that. Some detective work could shed light there.

It's possible you were spiked with something, but not rohypnol.

It's possible someone slipped strong top ups into your drinks.

It's also possible that the alcohol affected you this way without intervention. I've done some very embarrassing and inappropriate and rude things on three occasions since last summer and it is very very unlike me.

I know that two of those occasions I had mixed alcohol with some of my strong medication.

Reporting it means that if there was anyone behaving badly and it's been reported, then they should connect the two.

When at uni I definitely had nights where i couldn’t remember anything from a certain point on and didnt think i was that pissed

I’m male and no, my drinks hadnt been spiked. Not saying your wasnt but from personal experience and that of other male friends of mine blacking out from alcohol is far more common than having a drink spiked.

I only have the colleagues first name and I don't remember a thing about him so would be difficult to find him as I can't ask my ex but thanks for advice on that. Some detective work could shed light there.

Get onto Facebook.. it might just be your best friend here... good luck

www.nhs.uk/live-well/healthy-body/drink-spiking-and-date-rape-drugs/

According to this GHB/GBL can make you feel euphoric, turned on & lower inhibitions.

I'd like to think a partner would realise its very out of character behaviour & not dismiss concerns of being spiked. Maybe give it time, it would've been very upsetting to witness & embarrassing being a colleague.

I believe that a blood test can detect traces of any substances like rohypnol in your blood but only for a short period so it's too late to try anything like that now.

You may have been spiked either with drugs or with someone topping up your drinks with extra alcohol. It might have been a different brand of drink that didn't agree with you and made you feel funny.

I'm sure many posters will tell you that you were just pissed and behaved badly but take no notice, MN can be superior like that sometimes. Most people know their boundaries and know when something is off.

I'm not surprised your partner is upset with you but there's really not a lot you can do at this point. If it were me I would reiterate that you believe something was amiss but since you can't prove it all you can do is apologise. Don't beg or plead, if you really were spiked then you're a victim and he should at least give you the benefit of the doubt. In the meantime I'd probably keep a low profile and not go out drinking for a bit if you want to make amends.

Thanks for some empathy, I don't get why some people can't just say nothing rather than castigate. I in no way made a 'mistake' that I'm trying to cover up, but I guess there's always a mix of replies to be expected.

It’s not so much whether the police believe you, but what they can and can’t do to help.

They aren’t there to solve disputes between you and your boyfriend, or convince him to take you back.

You have no evidence you were spiked. It’s too late for a blood test, and witnesses, including your own bf, will say you were snogging this bloke consensually.

There is nothing to say you were spiked vs. Drunk. The police won’t spend time investigating it. You’ve no suspect, nothing. Your only shot will be if it can be linked to someone else coming forward with information.

Well I am doing dry January now, I do dry March every year, sometimes take odd months off here and there. Yes, you do get a fair idea of limits and I usually feel dizzy and I'll when going too far and horrendous the next day. Strangely felt less bad than expected the next day, just different somehow.

I’m sorry but I personally don’t believe it’s very likely there are phantom spikers lurking at Christmas parties randomly spiking people’s drinks so they can sit back and watch the carnage.

People should take responsibility for their drinking. On this occasion you drank too much and behaved (very) badly (even for someone who was very drunk) and I’m not surprised your boyfriend is pissed off with you.

I suggest instead of blaming the bogeyman for your behaviour you put your hands up and say sorry.

And perhaps the place to start is to learn how to temper your drinking or don’t drink at all.

Pps are talking nonsense. I was spiked once (drank a coke in a pub not even alcohol) and I was awake for a long time before finally passing out - the effects were like being incredibly drunk. One of my only memories was sitting on the kerb on the road, everything spinning, and crying because I felt really scared and knew I couldn’t get home. I was just so out of it and felt like I was hammered drunk. It’s absolutely possible that you were spiked. You know yourself and what is normal. Nice of MN to be so supportive as usual

I have had a couple of incidents in the past few months where I have behaved terribly and have so wanted to believe I had been spiked just to explain the whole thing as I had complete missing memories for hours and hours and only had the reports of others to piece together my nights. Not hazy memories, no memories, really scary. Then I stumbled across something called 'black out drunk' on the internet and it really made sense ( for what had happened one anyway) . Your brain literally can stop making memories at a certain point when your blood alcohol level increases quickly, the memories will never come back because they were never formed. It's made me take a real hard look at my drinking that's for sure!

@Sadie789 that is pure speculation and a completely pointless post. How on earth can you say you 'don't believe' there are random spikers out there? People get spiked all the time especially around the Christmas period and big nights out like NYE. You know nothing about the circumstances. You are just trying to be superior and tell her off for drinking too much.

Thing is, if you were spiked, it’s more likely you’d have ended up hanging over a toilet bowl or sleeping in a corner, and presumably the BF would have taken you home.

That it would turn you into a flirting machine who starts snogging strangers (who by the way as a colleague of your BF is just as reprehensible) is very unlikely.

Imagine your boyfriend did all that in front of you then claimed someone had spiked him? You’d be outraged. Just adding insult to injury.

@Disillusioneddaisy okay I’m “telling her off” if you want to put it that way. My post (and my point of view) is as valid as anyone else’s.

She has drunk too much, behaved badly, and hurt her boyfriend. Why not take responsibility for it?

@Sadie789 she may well have done that. But she also may have been spiked. She certainly believes something wasn't quite right and I fail to see why anyone would come on MN pretending to be have been spiked if they didn't believe it to be the case

You are speaking as if your opinion is fact. Which is ridiculous.

Ouch! You need to take responsibility for your own behaviour and not blame a possible spiked drink. And be more careful with your drinking next time. I know, I've been there too.

Think of it as a lesson learned.

My sister was spiked (confirmed by tests) and was very much awake for hours. Luckily her then boyfriend, now BIL realised she was behaving strangely and took her to a&e. Posters saying it is impossible as you didn't passed out are spreading innaccurate , potentially dangerous information.

People saying you would be asleep or throwing up have obviously never had their drink spiked. You're more likely to pass out or throw up if you were drunk. I say this as someone who has had their drink spiked twice. Both times the "spiker" admitted it after the event. The first time was an ex doing it "for a laugh", the second time was a friend of a friend, doing it because he knew the mutual friend wanted to sleep with me.

OP you know if something is off and you know your behaviour after you've been drinking. I hope you are ok