So sad but can't prove spiked drink ended my relationship

[Opentooffers]

I can't believe the behaviour my BF explained I was doing after midnight on NY. Granted, I had had a fair amount to drink, but not the first time in life I've had a fair bit. The trouble is I have hours missing where I apparently flirted with others in front of my BF (really not like me, I was very happy with my BF), then made out with his work colleague right in front of him and when asked by him to come away with him refused. I have no memory of what this work colleague even looks like.
Hindsight is a beautiful thing, I had similar blank episodes about 20 years ago after someone offered me a free drink - it was my first on in the club, I was young and naive at the time.
I don't remember walking home after, until I got in my street. I've reported it on 101 but I can tell by the attitude of the PO he thought I was just another drunk person who did something they shouldn't and is looking for excuses. I just know in my heart and head that something is not right about the whole thing. One minute I was tidly but fine, then scared, then blank.
I can't ever hope that my BF will believe me if the police don't can I? Up until the blank, the night had been magical, I was so loved up. Now I'm confused, upset, feel violated and the whole thing is a mess. My BF wont communicate with me, can't say I blame him on the face of it. It's just not something I would do or have done before when drunk, I don't get it. Just feel so sad and sould destroyed by it, can't stop the tears. I'm convinced my drink got spiked, but nobody else is likely to believe me. Gutted, is therer anything more I can do?

Do clubs have CCTV? Is there any way of checking the footage to see if you can see anyone tamper with your drink?

I believe you

I’d love to know the qualifications of those claiming that op can’t have been spiked because she’d immediately become very ill/pass out and that it wouldn’t have affected her inhibitions/affectionate behaviour.

There are in fact several drugs that have exactly this effect which are popular as “date rape” drugs precisely BECAUSE they make people less inhibited/more affectionate.

I’ve witnessed it as a nurse and had it happen to me once.

Several of us were spiked that night, the first person to notice something was amiss was one of my group I was out with’s fiancé who noticed she was acting very out of character after only her first drink that she hadn’t even finished! She is normally a very shy, reserved, somewhat sexually repressed type and she was taking clothes off, “chatting up” strangers. He didn’t get angry but gently arranged to take her home, the following day she remembered none of it and was utterly mortified. I also apparently behaved more “sexual” and loud than I normally do and a friend noticed and thankfully took me home. The following day I felt dreadful - and I don’t even get hangovers. I also had other symptoms that worried me and went to dr. Dr said they’d had a number of patients in with similar histories and at that point they and the police were working on the belief that some idiot had decided to spike with ecstasy for a “practical joke”.

I later learned about a few of our group had been “got”

Horrible experience! Especially as I’d thought I was keeping a good eye on my drinks - it turned out to be one of the (fairly large) group I’d gone out with who were mostly friends i knew well but with a few “newbies” - lesson learned!

Posters saying it is impossible as you didn't passed out are spreading innaccurate , potentially dangerous information. absolutely!

If it feels off, it usually is. I was spiked twenty years ago, Christmas Eve. I knew when I looked at the rain and it was green and the cars were gliding over the road rather than on it. The guy I had previously just tolerated was holding me and grinning. I panicked, said I needed the loo and ran to the doorman. Got my poor old dad to pick me up and sat all night talking gibberish becaause I had indeed been spiked. Two vodkas would not have done that. Spent Christmas day feeling really down and infact it lasted for at least four days. Am not a drug user so maybe it hit me harder than most. But spiked I was.

Point is, I beieve you. If you are, as I was, just merrily having a nice drinking normal time and then BOOF, you are out of control and have no memory, then its the D.R.U.G.G.E.D situ that no one likes or cares to admit to. ITs more common than anyone likes to admit.

Blaming spiking for drunk misbehaviour is more common than spiking itself

Did you make that up? Or has it been well researched/documented? I don’t actually believe that drivel Aridane

Police reports. Google it yourself

(1,039 reported cases in 2017)

Hi everyone, long time reader here, joined just to leave this bittersweet observation for some of you.....

I worked in nightclubs (security, often undercover) for years, and when 'drink spiking' first hit the news big time in the late 90's/early 2000s I was working at a place covered in hidden CCTV, Big Brother style. we had 22 reports one year that led to police visiting the day after, that meant we all had to come in to help them review the footage from the previous night, every one of them was alcohol or voluntary drug taking....

I also see people mentioning GHB/GBL, that's really not a date rape drug.... it tastes and smells like bleach, and no drink will mask it, people who take it knock it back in (very carefully mesured) shots while holding their nose. It got its 'reputation' because a common glass cleaner formula used in pubs/clubs shows a false positive on the GHB test being used back then. It's why those drink spiking detector straws that are reinvented every couple of years never work out, when the inventors take them out to 'real' nightspots instead of just their lab or livingroom pretty much every drink served after the glasses have been through the washpot once that night then comes back as positive. Trust me if they'd worked my work would have handed them out for free to attract more female customers

I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but it is nothing like it's made out. Even assuming that the next report would have turned out to be a genuine spiking, that would be one out of 23, so 3-4% of claimed spikings (in my area anyways) are real, and that would be a max.

I hope everything works out OP, its crap not knowing what happened, I did something similar myself a few years ago and got into a hell of a lot of trouble, I had to cut my drinking to a couple of pints and no spirits and beg my ass off for weeks, my local pandora dealer and florist probably sent their kids to uni off the profits of my apology gifts, but eventually it worked.... I wish you the best of luck

I can only see reports that drink spiking has risen, especially over the Xmas period. Maybe you can show me the ones where people are just drunk., but blaming spiking.

spiked or just blackout drunk- either way, you clearly were not functioning as your typical self and were WAY off your rocker. You were not consciously doing those things. Is your x boyfriend so narcissistic that his concern is that you made HIM look bad??? If he knows you at all he should have picked up on it right away n took you to the emergency room to check for alcohol poisoning or drugs in your system from being spiked. Where were your friends, and people you knew? Why did everyone let u behave sooo far out of character? Your boyfriend failed to protect you and take care of you. Had he of taken you to hospital they would have done a breathalyzer or blood test to determine your BAC. If your BAC was way high and you were in a blackout then you and your boy could have discussed it next day and see how u plan to get your drinking under control, or if spiked then talk to doctor about what drug it was, how long it will take to get out of your system, any possible side effects, etc. But instead your boyfriend failed to do any of those things as did anyone else and instead he is pouting like HE is the victim because you embarrassed and punked him. I dont know your boyfriend, but is that the kind of man you want? He assumed the worse of you. You could have died if alcohol or drug, or got raped, or fall and badly hurt yourself. He just tood around stupid and did nothing besides think about how it was effecting him.

Can I have a link please

I agree with TemporyScot (no relation to me) and Ariadne. OP probably just had a couple drinks too many and inadvertently got blackout drunk.

I worked in nightclubs (security, often undercover) for years, and when 'drink spiking' first hit the news big time in the late 90's/early 2000s I was working at a place covered in hidden CCTV, Big Brother style. we had 22 reports one year that led to police visiting the day after, that meant we all had to come in to help them review the footage from the previous night, every one of them was alcohol or voluntary drug taking

Is that fucking right? Would you care to furnish us with your so smart evidence seeing as you are so fucking on point?
Thought not.

Apologies I had a highlight fail! I re-state. My security undercover, I believer the woman who is traumatised over you any fucking day.

As pp said, regardless of whether op was spiked or just blackout drunk she acted out of character. Of course we all need to take responsibility for our actions but I've been there before when drink has crept up on me suddenly and I've ended up in a real state. Of course her bf is entitled to be upset but if he loved her he would realise that something wasn't right - either spiked or unusually pissed - and protected her.

Feeling better today, thanks to all who have supported. I think the difference is forgiving myself. ExBF could have been exaggerating events while he was drunk for all I know. Even if he wasn't, he's given me tails of doing far worse many times over while sober, while dating all others in the past - sometimes, a book can be opened too much. There's some hypocrisy from him in not getting over this I feel, so it's done.
I count myself lucky that I wasn't assaulted on the way home. Things could of been far worse. I'll learn from it, and be more cautious when out in future.

Hi OP

I believe you were spiked. The fact that you've gone go the police because you thought youd been spiked, should (imo) have been enough for your bf to convince him that you were serious about being spiked. If you have any suspicions about who did it you could try and track them down (pretend you liked whatever it was or something so they admit it?)

It's scary how it's happened to so many people

Even when drunk like blind drunk , you would remember kissing someone! It has so much emotion attached to it! Especially cheating on a partner you would just know and you would have been apologising to him left right and centre!

Are you taking any regular prescription meds? Some meds can react badly with alcohol. I found out the hard way, acted so totally out of character x

OP you're better off without a guy that sees you are very 'drunk' and leaves you to get on with it.. he's not better than the guy that snogged you in my opinion... close the door on Him..

It has so much emotion attached to it!

Not when you’re blind drunk. I once made out with cheesy chips.

Being spiked affects different people in different ways, the type of drug varies, how it reacts, what that person has already consumed etc so there is no way people can rule out OP being spiked based on their own experiences or things they’ve read.

Spiked drink? I think you are just looking for an excuse for your drunken behaviour.
Stay away from alcohol.

For the people saying the BF should be understanding, the OP said this was the first time they’d been out drinking together.

So his first experience of her being drunk was of her snogging a work colleague of his openly in front of everyone. If this is your first experience of going out drinking with someone then of course you’re going to be upset.

Imagine if a poster posted here that they’d been out drinking with their new BF for the first time, that he had got drunk and then snogged someone else in front of her, and then claimed the next morning that he was spiked. Not one poster would be saying that the OP was unreasonable for dumping him, in fact posters would be saying that now she knew what he was like when he’s drunk and she’s well rid.

Now the OP may have been spiked, she may not. Fact is that we never really know one way or another. But she acted in a way she hadn’t acted before in circumstances her bf hadn’t seen her in before.

He’s not at fault for walking away.

Your boyfriend is probably thinking you’re just making it up to get out of trouble. I’ve heard people do this especially when they’ve cheated