Help me get over this ridiculous crush!

[Needtogetbackinthesack]

I'm newly divorced, haven't had sex since I conceived my 3 yo and I feel it's time to get back out there.

There's a guy I see every morning when dropping my kids off, he works in an office I walk by and his smile makes me weak at the knees. It's got so bad that I can't sleep at night for thinking about him but I'm generally too nervous to even make eye contact as I walk by. He does smile on the odd brave occasion, but he smiles at everyone who walks by.

His office isn't the kind where people off the street could walk in - no customers etc. I literally know nothing else about him, can't see if he's wearing a wedding ring etc. He also sees me walk by with my herd of out of control kids, hardly an attractive prospect. But I can't help but think about him.

How do people deal with such crushes when you're in your mid thirties? I think I need to get out there and meet a real life human and forget about him don't I? But that smile... 😍😆🙈

@Needtogetbackinthesack, I haven't commented til now but have been following and am rooting for you! I'm worried that possibly a cleaner could have been in over the weekend or early this morning and just swept a card through the letterbox up without realising it was actually for someone/ that it's just been collected up with general mail and got lost....I hope you hear from him but all I mean is that if you don't, there could be an explanation for it...It def sounds like he fancies you and no, you haven't acted in any way stalkerish (re your earlier post). Good luck!

I doubt the office has a cleaner - it's literally one room. And I wrote his name on it, there are literally a couple of people who work there. So it's unlikely it's been lost... I think I'm going to have to admit defeat!!

However how funny is this - I just missed yet another call because I was hoovering and this time it wasn't a withheld number but it was a shop calling to say some make up I ordered has come in. So now I'm not sure if it was them calling earlier too 😂 a whole array of possibilities 🤷🏻‍♀️

Whoever said "glue your phone to your face" earlier in the thread had a point!

Why is your phone not on volume 1 million, fully charged and next to you at all times?!

Yeah I'm always a bit shit with my phone, it's generally left in the kitchen while I wander round doing odd bits, and usually on silent. It has been turned up today but still I've managed to miss it 🙈

I'm so invested in this thread. Hope things go your way OP!

That's really heartwarming @SweetpeaOrMarigold. And how lovely that your dcs were the ones who brought you together

If he's got the card and hasn't text you then he maybe married? I wouldn't text someone that had a crush on me (I'm married). I wouldn't even ring. What would be the point?

It takes me a day or two to get round to opening my mail in the office... don't lose hope yet. Sending positive thoughts your way xx

Just read this full thread. Cant believe you have plucked up the courage to post a card (well done!) and he hasn't messaged yet. Keeping my fingers crossed but I know if I were you, I'd be raging he hadnt messaged me yet! I hope tonight is the night!

You'll never believe this - I've had another missed call from a withheld number! (While I was putting the youngest to bed so I really couldn't have had my phone with me that time!) So if it is him he's definitely withholding his number as he won't still be at work. Dream is over guys...

@bobstersmum even when I was married I'd have messaged saying sorry I'm married and then blocked them - more so that they didn't keep on - but I do get your point.

Perhaps his numbers on withheld and doesnt realise? I know a few friends who's phone is on withheld due to work and never turn it back to normal! We can live in hope yet OP!

If it's him, at least he's persistent!

To be honest I really am a little surprised about your attitude towards this. He got the card this morning. You were then phoned three times today. You didn’t pick up any of these times. So you really have no idea what he was going to say. But because he called from a witheld number you convinced yourself ‘the dream is over’?
Why not keep a better eye on the phone and answer it when he calls?
Are you sure you want him to get in touch with you?

If I would have been given such a card I would at least expect the giver to answer the phone.

Oh needto you big tease!

Some of us need closure on this thing y'know?

I am a bit concerned, OP, that he'll give up trying to call you because you don't answer.

On the other hand, he could text you or leave you a voicemail

PLEASE keep your phone to hand for the rest of the evening! On loud, in your pocket! Otherwise, to be honest, I wouldn't blame the poor guy for being a bit confused and giving up!

The entire rest of MN - "don't hang around waiting for men to contact you, get out and have a life"

This thread "keep your phone glued to you at all times"

God love the internet!

You'll be pleased to know the kids are now in bed, the phone is on and I'm sat doing some work so IF he calls again - if it even was him - then I am able to answer.

And I won't make any more jokes about the dream being over 🙄

I used to see a guy in his car when I was driving. Saw him all the time. Always a cheeky smile between us. I saw his car parked one day... so I got one of my business cards, wrote in don’t usually do this but...’ and put it under his wiper. I got a message straight away. We dated for about a year! Go for it girl. What have you got to lose?!

OP, I think the rest of MN means 'Don't put your life on hold for the sake of a man calling', not 'Abandon your phone and hope the stars align for him to contact you via psychic telegram'

If he's sensible, he'll call again, though, especially seeing as he's seen you with your little ones!

Stop blardy well missing your calls OP!

Ha I just find it so difficult to talk with the kids around during the day that I don't even bother leaving my phone on half the time, trying to talk while they're kicking off in the background is so stressful that I just made a conscious decision not to have that stress in my life and everyone knows not to phone during the day. Until times like this when it's causing me stress not knowing!!

Surely he is now at home busy crafting the perfect text message to you! I bet you'll have something by 9pm

Sending all of the good luck to you OP! Such an intriguing thread and I heartily applaud you for being upfront and asking him out.

I got a bit side-tracked reading Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine, which is ironic as she spends most of the book stalking and planning an imaginary life with her stranger-crush-guy

RuffleCrow I know it's a complete tangent but is the above a spoiler for the plot? I love the sound of this but if that's kind of an essential twist then I'll probably give it a miss

@Needtogetbackinthesack we separated during my pregnancy as he was seeing someone else so I've been single for 2 years and youngest is 18months old. We also have a 4 year old so I think dating is off until the kids are a lot older and I've some free time.

I think you're so brave to write the card. I think it's always good to put good things out there, you're bound to get good things in return xxx

Patiently waiting for an update. Have