Help me get over this ridiculous crush!

[Needtogetbackinthesack]

I'm newly divorced, haven't had sex since I conceived my 3 yo and I feel it's time to get back out there.

There's a guy I see every morning when dropping my kids off, he works in an office I walk by and his smile makes me weak at the knees. It's got so bad that I can't sleep at night for thinking about him but I'm generally too nervous to even make eye contact as I walk by. He does smile on the odd brave occasion, but he smiles at everyone who walks by.

His office isn't the kind where people off the street could walk in - no customers etc. I literally know nothing else about him, can't see if he's wearing a wedding ring etc. He also sees me walk by with my herd of out of control kids, hardly an attractive prospect. But I can't help but think about him.

How do people deal with such crushes when you're in your mid thirties? I think I need to get out there and meet a real life human and forget about him don't I? But that smile... 😍😆🙈

@GiveHerHellFromUs hmm fingers crossed, and I wish I had your confidence!!

@tiredandgrumpy that's another reason why I was kind of just expecting a text rather than everyone listening in!? Though it's a tiny office, not sure I've ever seen more than 1 or 2 people in there

Hi op, I’ve just read the whole thread ( I was supposed to be doing the dishes ) and I’m convinced he fancies you... well done on the card. You will hear from him today!

Loving this thread! I'm exactly like you, had a relationship with someone who made me feel worthless. I'm not ready to date yet, haven't had sex since we conceived out youngest 2 years ago.

Loving how very brave you are and hoping you get a wave and a smile and a text today and a date xxx

@motheringmayham ah well I hope I have an update that inspires you! How long have you been out of the relationship? It's been only 6 months for me so I hope that's not offputting, but honestly I checked out emotionally when I was pregnant with the second. He was so awful to me but I waited until the last possible minute to leave (literally 2 weeks before my eldest was due to start reception and moved areas so had to enrol him in a new school) for financial reasons but if I'd been able to easily leave years ago I would have. I've done my grieving and my anger and I'm ready to meet someone now for some fun.

I honestly think phoning is a good sign! Much more traditional. He's prob been dying for a proper chat with you and he'd rather arrange a date voice to voice rather than an 'all too easy' text. If it is him, he's prob thinking he's doing the right thing!

Stop leaving your phone!! You're killing us here...!

I'm so invested in this thread!! Routing for you here

Good luck. All the signs are really positive that he likes you. If it's not him ringing, he's probably waiting till he's finished work to reply to you properly.

Quick update from my end, needto just wanted to say thanks so much for this thread. Covered hair up, did school run.

Saw The Guy coming towards me a way off.He was on his phone but put it away when he saw me. He looked kind of tired/ stressed. Then we did 'the dance' where you both try to go the same way at the same time. We made eye contact for what felt like a while then i actually said "hi" to him for the first time ever! All because of this thread!

It's been literally years and i've never summoned the courage before now! It did come out a little bit soft but i think he heard. He didn't really react though, but then he was preoccupied with the dcs. Ah well, one small step for Ruffle

@RuffleCrow - serious high five to you!!! I am glad I have influenced someone else to step into that arena with me! I have to say I find it really hard to even say hi back to people when I have kids with me, they are two renegades and keeping an eye on them takes all of my concentration so not necessarily a bad sign that he didn't react.

Mine are currently well established in today's witching hour and screaming the place down so even if he phoned back after work I am not sure I could/it would be wise to answer. The witching hour is enough to make me want to run for the hills never mind a stranger...

Omg so invested in this thread! Just read the whole thing! How exciting!!

I’ve just read your whole thread and am rooting for you op!

Either way you’re great. And for the love of god....ANSWER YOUR PHONE.

Ah, the witching hour, i know it well. Only pausing it for now as mine are all currently on screens - plus they're that little bit older than yours, i think.

Yes, he was pulling his dc along on a scooter, which is not the easiest thing in the world. I definitely feel he's clocking me from a distance, and making lots of eye contact - but that might just be a cultural difference or "oh dear here comes the crazy lady and her crazy kids" rather than a 'sign'.

Hopefully your crush will have the good sense to call/text after yours are in bed.

My kids will be 3/5 in a few weeks. This time of the day is just the worst but they're at least fed and not hangry now so I'm hoping they'll sit and do screens/homework quietly while I quietly stress to myself haha.

I'm back to wondering why the hell i put myself through this but also not caring if I get rejected so I think I'm feeling good about it all, just nervous!

I bet he'll call you when he finishes work - do you have dvds and chocolate ready to bribe your DC with when the phone rings? :)

PLEASE answer your phone. I can't take the suspense.

Maybe he doesn't realise it will come up on your phone as unknown number, and kind of hopes you'll call back.

@thesunwillout well that would be a complete disaster! Though I have wondered if it is him, why he's calling from his desk rather than his mobile?! Why doesn't he want his mobile number showing up on my phone?? Do I come across as some kind of stalker?! (I mean, yes I probably do but... 🙈)

Ive been following this thread from the beginning and keep checking back for updates! I am swinging from the idea that he's not called yet because he is waiting until after work to do so. Or did try twice from a no caller ID so that you don't have his number as its not something he is going/able to pursue...

@foxinthegarden1 I definitely think option 2... he'd surely have contacted me another way by now if he actually wanted me to have his number. Ah well, onto the next one...

I start anew job tmrw, maybe this is the universe's way of telling me I'll meet some hot men there!

If he's the kind of guy who thinks a woman making the first move is 'stalking' then he'd be doing you a favour by taking himself out of the picture needto! Hopefully not - who needs 1950s values in 2020?

And yep you're bound to meet at leastone hot guy in your new job. There's always one imo!

I keep checking in OP, get that phone answered

This is an amazing thread!! I've only just discovered it and read the entire thing.
Go you!!
I had a rubbish divorce after a long and miserable marriage. Accidentally met a man on holiday far away. This is very outing . Our boys were friends in the pool and made us go for dinner all together. I was like a teenager, had no idea what to say or do.
Anyway he moved in 6 months later and a year later we are all a happy family and ttc it can TOTALLY happen. I thought I was too old and tinder was just ridiculous when I tried it.

"If he's the kind of guy who thinks a woman making the first move is 'stalking' then he'd be doing you a favour by taking himself out of the picture"

Totally agree with the above

I also agree that I'd run if he did think I was stalking - already had one 1950s throwback and DO NOT need another!!