Help me get over this ridiculous crush!

[Needtogetbackinthesack]

I'm newly divorced, haven't had sex since I conceived my 3 yo and I feel it's time to get back out there.

There's a guy I see every morning when dropping my kids off, he works in an office I walk by and his smile makes me weak at the knees. It's got so bad that I can't sleep at night for thinking about him but I'm generally too nervous to even make eye contact as I walk by. He does smile on the odd brave occasion, but he smiles at everyone who walks by.

His office isn't the kind where people off the street could walk in - no customers etc. I literally know nothing else about him, can't see if he's wearing a wedding ring etc. He also sees me walk by with my herd of out of control kids, hardly an attractive prospect. But I can't help but think about him.

How do people deal with such crushes when you're in your mid thirties? I think I need to get out there and meet a real life human and forget about him don't I? But that smile... 😍😆🙈

Also delurking, to say well done!
And to gain an interesting perspective from RuffellCrow.
I always compliment my female friends, saying....you look gorgeous, beautiful etc.
I can see how awkward that can be if you are bi and trying to read the signals.

I do say similar to my male friends, but it's slightly different. More sister/brotherly?

I think any hair colour change feels like you've got a flashing sign on your head at first!

I had a total fail this afternoon and did something really embarrassing in front of lots of people. I tried to hide it but then when it was obvious my kids weren't going to let this one lie I owned it and laughed about it - I figured I may as well embrace embarrassment ahead of tomorrow. And actually, I don't feel that bad about it and have since voluntarily told people about my embarrassing situation and people have laughed with rather than at me so I'm feeling like I can style out a complete rejection 😱😂

Haha poor you, but like you say, good practice for tomorrow ( then again you might be doing a little victory dance this time tomorrow). Is it too outing to put on here?

My kids have thoroughly rejected the hair. I've had:

"the roots are too light for the ends, typical of box dye. You need to dye them darker" - dd13,

"why can't you just dye it brown again?" (Dd10) and best of all:

"it looks creepy" (ds6).

This is what i get for trying to save myself £££ in the hairdressers . I think a hat might be a safest option til it fades a bit. Oh dear, american bloke, i don't want to give you nightmares

Ah aren't kids just the best! When I pint my nails anything other than pink or red (usually slate grey so nothing truly wacky) my 4yo son always tells me he hates it.

To be fair, I get my hair done by a hairdresser and my roots (naturally pure white) go orange after a couple of weeks when I go a redder shade so I've had to go an awfully boring brown. I hate being old!

I'm kind of beyond the point of caring about being outed - if anyone i knew read This they'd know from the story so far 🙈 I got my car stuck in the mud and had to get some randoms to get it out for me. In front of everyone. Sigh!

Oh bless you, that is classic, but on the upside you're definitely through the worst now. At least any embarassment will be strictly between us MNers

Kids can always be relied on for that extra confidence boost, can't they ?

And yes, getting older sucks. Until now i've been winging it with Lush henna and then when that faded, had balayage which cost me an arm and a leg and did nothing to blend in my greys.

I love this thread 😁

This thread is the best!! I hope he responds @Needtogetbackinthesack (I bet he will)

I've been trying to look after myself a bit but I don't have the patience for makeup so I've had my eyebrows and eyelashes tinted. My oldest (8) told me I look scary and has laughed at me every time since. Not exactly the confidence boost I was going for

@MymbleClement I'm fairly confident he will respond, I think he's too we mannered not to... but the longer this goes on the more I think it might be a "thanks but no thanks."

@Welsh36 oh god that's just charming!! Kids do the "funniest" things eh? 😟

Feeling a bit sick and questioning my life choices right now... being in this arena waiting to get my butt kicked is nerve wracking! I'm going to feel sick regardless of the response I think 😱

That's so understandable, needto. Self-doubt is only natural and actually a great quality, when you think about it. If only our politicians had a bit more of it!

I had a wacky symbolic dream last night I thought might help us both: I was back in 6th form and had to perform ballet on stage (haven't done ballet since i was about 4, lol). I was wearing the standard skimpy leotard and tights and feeling slightly self-conscious. Think i was also on my period, to make matters even worse! Then noticed I had a ladder in my tights. A friend rushed out to get me a new pair and they were sort of sparkly. I went on stage full of confidence that my muscles would remember what to do, despite no ballet for 14 years! And they did! They remembered how to do a funny sort of chicken dance with my back to the audience. And do you know what? Nobody laughed

I've googled what all those elements mean and it's really relevant to both our situations.

Wishing you so much luck and courage today. And the ability to style out the chicken dance if need be xx

Omg I have never done ballet and the thought is more terrifying than this!

I've just had a missed cal from a withheld number - I'm not sure whether I'm hoping it's him (id imagine he gets in the office about now) or my ocado order or something else!?

Either way who calls during school getting ready time?! 😱

Oh wow! Could definitely be him! Who calls during school getting ready time? A really keen man who's not thinking straight?!

I've just caught up on what's been happening OP! This is soooo exciting!! Eeek!

Hmm I feel more like the man who calls at school run time is a man who is desperate to get rejecting me out of the way and has been told it's politer to do it by phone than text. We'll see...

Going to try and distract myself with some work but I'm a bit shaky and flustered and can't focus

Longtime lurker here... Couldn't put my phone down when I found this thread! Such a lovely story - reminds me of the paper panes short animation - anyone know it?

The type of man who calls during school run prep is one who doesn't have kids or who is not used to the chaos of school mornings! If it was Ocado they would leave a message (I love using them when I am feeling like l can afford it and they have done that before). So. ... It IS likely to be him and he will try again later I'm sure. Even if it doesn't come to anything it has lifted your spirits - and those of so many others - and given you a spring in your step. And that's worst case! 😘 Watching this thread VERY closely ..... Good luck xx

I’ve dashed back from school run to see if there are any updates! How’s it going OP? Sending lots of unmumsnetty hugs xxx

Thank you for this thread @Needtogetbackinthesack, I usually spend my days checking to see if I'd had any messages from any guys I'm talking to. It's nice to be obsessed with something else for a change!

Love this thread - wishing you all the best

No updates 🤯

But I LOVE that so many of you are as excited about this as me and wishing me luck... I've not lived here long and need to make some more friends and this is giving me faith that there are some amazing and supportive people out there in rl not just on mn ❤️

I think you need to return the call from the unknown number -

My heart is literally pounding in my chest I am so excited to hear what happens! ❤️

@karala it's an unknown number so there is no number to return the call...

I'm feeling like any normal man would have just sent a text saying yes or no!? I hope he's not going to be hard work... 😱

I hope the unknown number calls back...

Routing for you OP!!x