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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I bit the tip of his tongue off

140 replies

user1471462428 · 01/01/2020 15:03

Ongoing issues in our relationship with him promising to take time off and help with the kids then going to work anyway. Ignoring me and talking on his phone. Financial abuse which I’ve realised has been going on throughout our relationship. Today the kids have gone for a sleep after late nights. I was looking forward to having a hour by myself. But instead he gets into bed next me and starts touching me. I say I’m not interested. He carries on and climbs on top of me and puts his tongue in my mouth. I’ve completely seen red and bit the end off his tongue. He ran away crying and whimpering. I should feel bad but I’m just fucking full of rage for my shitty life. Should I leave? I know if he calls the police I’m fucked. Can’t stop shaking

OP posts:
SpaceDinosaur · 01/01/2020 15:04

You're not fucked. You said no and acted in self defence unless I'm misreading?

IndieTara · 01/01/2020 15:06

Maybe it's a good idea to get the police involved. You said no, he carried on anyway and I'm willing to bet that's not the first time

lilmishap · 01/01/2020 15:07

If he calls the police he will have to admit he was going to have sex with you knowing you didn't consent.

Original poster
user1471462428 · 01/01/2020 15:07

Yes I said no but he carried on. I’ve got a mouthful of blood. I’m not sure either of us should be near the children. I’m not really sure what to do at all. I’m not a violent or angry person but today I’ve snapped

OP posts:
Original poster
user1471462428 · 01/01/2020 15:08

I’ve really shocked myself. No it’s not the first time

OP posts:
Strongmummy · 01/01/2020 15:10

Christ, can you take your kids and go somewhere for a few days? He basically tried to rape you and you acted in self defence

Cheeseboardcriminal · 01/01/2020 15:10

You weren't in thee wrong here. He was attempting to rape you and you defended yourself.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 01/01/2020 15:10

I can’t say I wouldn’t have acted in the same way if someone was trying to force me into sex when I’d said no. I’m sorry you’ve been put into that position.

Hepsibar · 01/01/2020 15:10

How many times have you been coerced and cried and screamed silently inwards. What a terrible creep you are with.

Please get some counselling and get strong enough for him to leave.

wildthingsinthenight · 01/01/2020 15:13

Self defence.
Sorry this has happened OP Flowers
I second take the kids and go

TopBitchoftheWitches · 01/01/2020 15:13

Where is he now?

MadeForThis · 01/01/2020 15:14

Self defence

sockittome123 · 01/01/2020 15:14

I agree with PPs, you need to leave him, the next time he may not stop.

Original poster
user1471462428 · 01/01/2020 15:14

God this isn’t normal at all. I’ve really scared myself today. Feel sick. So much of my life I’ve put up with this shit. I’m shaking.

OP posts:
MadeForThis · 01/01/2020 15:15

You're allowed to protect yourself from rape.

PickAChew · 01/01/2020 15:15

Is there any danger of him retaliating? You are not a bad or violent person for defending yourself when he tried to rape you (yet again). Is there anyone you can call on to be with you?

dontgobaconmyheart · 01/01/2020 15:16

To be honest i would call the police myself, to report the incident as self defence in the respect of his attempt to rape you.

You need to leave OP, you cannot stay with this man and you certainly don't need to. Call womens aid?

FoamingAtTheUterus · 01/01/2020 15:18

You need to ring the police. He tried to rape you FFS.

Don't let this be your normal. It isn't ok that you have to defend yourself like this.

thirdfiddle · 01/01/2020 15:19

Call the police OP. He tried to assault you, you defended yourself, you're not in trouble but both need help.

LuluBellaBlue · 01/01/2020 15:21

I’d call the police and get rid of him once and for all Flowers

Original poster
user1471462428 · 01/01/2020 15:22

I’m in my bedroom I don’t know where he is. I’m scared that kids see me like this

OP posts:
Emmelina · 01/01/2020 15:22

The way I see it, he tried to initiate sex, you didn’t give consent and he forced himself upon you anyway. You bit his tongue when he forced it into your mouth.
He attempted to RAPE you, and you defended yourself. Call the police by all means, but on him.

TooTiredForThisShite · 01/01/2020 15:23

Call tge police first and tell them he tried to rape you.

I'm so sorry Flowers

magoria · 01/01/2020 15:24

If he accepted it when you said no he would still have his whole tongue. His own fault.

Forcing you is rape. He is a nasty rapist. You were just defending yourself from him.

Janaih · 01/01/2020 15:24

Oh honey. Your post made my skin crawl. You need help to be free from this awful man. Please contact womens aid and keep posting here if it's safe to do so. Do you have anyone in real life who can support you? I'd hazard a guess he's tried to isolate you from your family maybe?