I bit the tip of his tongue off

[user1471462428]

Ongoing issues in our relationship with him promising to take time off and help with the kids then going to work anyway. Ignoring me and talking on his phone. Financial abuse which I’ve realised has been going on throughout our relationship. Today the kids have gone for a sleep after late nights. I was looking forward to having a hour by myself. But instead he gets into bed next me and starts touching me. I say I’m not interested. He carries on and climbs on top of me and puts his tongue in my mouth. I’ve completely seen red and bit the end off his tongue. He ran away crying and whimpering. I should feel bad but I’m just fucking full of rage for my shitty life. Should I leave? I know if he calls the police I’m fucked. Can’t stop shaking

OP let your children stay napping for now, take a deep breath splash your face and call the police. You haven't done anything wrong it's self defence! It's ok to be scared, you say you've been putting up with shit for too long, you are not an animal you've simply just had enough and defended yourself!

Woah. Hang on a minute. People need to stop using words like rape and self defence. I’m not even sure what’s actually happened here and I don’t think it’s appropriate for the OP to post this at this time. A lot depends on what exactly happened when the OP said “ he carried on”. What does that mean? If she’s actually talking about rape or attempted rape then she might be able to argue “ self defence” but if he was on top of her kissing her ( even if that was against her will) and that was the extent of the behaviour then she may not be able to argue that. To prove an attempted rape you need to show acts that are more than merely preparatory. There is also lots of information that we don’t know about the relationship overall, the history and the dynamics. Sorry OP but I think you should get this thread taken down because I fear it could be used against you

@Divebar are you a lawyer / have legal training/ police officer etc...?

@Divebar are you trying to blame the OP?

Hopefully you’ve called the police now.

I would hazard a guess that @Divebar is none of those things from that ridiculous post

So sorry OP, you must be traumatised. Get yourself into a fit state to get your kids up. If you can take them to a safe place do so. Contact women's aid for advice on how to proceed. This man is a cunt and he is lucky it was not his dick that lost its tip.

Divebar is right, you should remove this thread, you should ring the police and report him for the assault on you, ring friends/family to watch the kids while U make a statement.

The overall state of the relationship, history and dynamics are irrelevant if he attempted to rape her. Gods sake.

Oh OP, this is horiffic, you really can't carry on like this, please call for help.

@WwfLeopard again do you have legal training? I’m unsure how an anonymous post on an anonymous forum where the OP neither uses the term “attempted rape” nor “self defence” is in anyway detrimental to any case she may have

I agree that the OP needs to take this thread down and needs to report the incident to the police before her partner reports it as an assault on him.

I am in fact police and I’m not blaming the OP at all - in fact I’m trying to protect her. She’s just written something that could be used against her. I’m also not wanting her to have to write out on the internet explicit details of what might have happened because 1) it’s distressing 2) she’s just been involved in something traumatic and her recollection might be confused 3) I don’t want to pin her to information that could be used against her. Although people might feel they’re being helpful ( and they might be correct with their advice) there are an awful lot of unknowns that people have filled in with their own version of what has happened.

It's not a fine line and you don't have to wait til he starts trying to force his penis in to fight him off. If she's waited til he took his trousers off she'd be told she should have acted sooner and that he'll have thought she was consenting.

He climbed on top of her AFTER he started touching her and being told no and then forced his tongue in her mouth and a couple of arseholes are telling the OP she shouldn't be posting as it's not appropriate, that he might have been playing a game and that she shouldn't phone the police?

Men aren't stupid, they understand what no means. Some men, like this cunt, just doesn't care and climbs on anyway and forces his tongue into her mouth and it feels like there's an increasing amount of people in society defending and making excuses for such men. It's depressing.

OP get yourself and your children safe.

@Divebar i sort of get where you’re coming from (maybe) but then OP didn’t use any of the terms you’re concerned about and this is an anonymous post on an anonymous forum. The OP is rightly asking for help and people are obliging.

Of course she should report the incident to the police. However this post will have no bearing on what happens next .....as it’s anonymous

Posters are telling the OP that it was a rape or an attempted rape and that her actions were legitimate without knowing the details of what’s actually happened. Anything she writes down here is in play as far as evidence goes.

I hope you're ok OP - can you call someone, a close friend or family member, to come and be there?

Are you still there @user1471462428?

What the OP described wasn't attempted rape and the police will not see it as attempted rape from what she has said. This is why I said do you think X happened or do you think X happened, get your thoughts together and leave. If she phones the police now and tells them what she has told us here, they're going to look at it like a man kissing his partner, kissing, no attempted rape after her feeling ignored and them arguing about it. The story needs to be right. I think at this time the OP should have the post removed, leave the house with the kids and talk to someone close about the situation then decide from there.

If she phones the police now to report being in bed with her partner and saying she wasn't interested after being in a mood about him being on his phone and ignoring her then him kissing her and her biting part of his tongue off, it will be her in a jail cell, not him. She needs to think the whole thing through and figure out what was in her mind at the time. She can't be saying she was angry and bit his tongue like she told us because that implies she is violent, she needs to figure out if she was in fear of being raped or sexually assaulted or if she was mad angry at him picking and choosing when he wants to give her attention. It's just some of the words being used like I was angry and how she feels she is an animal for what's happened. She isn't, we all know he crossed a line and should have respected the OP saying she wasn't interested but we are women here and know you can be annoyed one minute at your partner being on their phone and ignoring you and the next not want them anywhere near you but it's very black and white when the police get involved and when social services do

@Divebar sorry, but how on Earth will the police use this as “evidence”. They won’t even know it exists.

If her partner knows her MN name and he finds the post he can use it against her. If the police find there was a discussion online relating to an ongoing investigation it can be used both for and against her. Whole cases have been kicked out of court because of conversations on social media and since this is a very specific Set of circumstances ( featured in the title of her post) it’s very easily found on a google search.

Im not going to comment again.... I wish the OP well. I hope she can access some expert help from people who are familiar with domestic issues of this kind.

@Divebar I’d take a pretty logical guess that based on her username she’s name-changed for this thread. All you’re doing is scaring an incredibly vulnerable woman.

Erm he tried to rape you. You acted in self defence. Perhaps you should call the police. Big f*ing cowardly bully, slithering away whi.lering and crying when you stand up to him. Contact womens aid and get their assistance. Please do not just put up with this any longer. And get him bloody charged.

If you're scared in your own home call the police to come and at least get you and your children out safely.