Dating thread 178 - where we launch into the new year with new hopes

[NoMoreWeepingAndWanking]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

I'm sat hiding in the kids room of a nye party eating all the peanuts. If things don't work out with Mr C then 2020 is going to be the year OFF old for me!
Happy nye everyone

I have a glass of red, my dog and James Bond. Only just finished working. Life is good. Happy New Year you brave, true, wonderful crew 🥳 x

I’m having a Harry Potter marathon with dd eating Pringles and just.a small wine 🍷.

Me and Mr Ad broke my bed shagging 😳😂

Stop bragging @Sunshineandflipflops 😂

Happy new year, everyone. May your worst days of 2020 be better than your best days of 2019.

Sunshine I broke my bed last year with a iron, he then vanished and left me having to build a new bed (and pay for it). I have now invested in a better bed.

Jane I’m doing the same with Dd though she didn’t share the pringles .

I'm in a onesie eating vegetable crisps with my dog curled up on me. DD is all glittery and off at a party, all is good.
Happy 2020 everyone - wishing you peace, joy and happiness.

Is anyone waiting up to see how many “happy new year” messages they receive from irons and previous irons? 🤣, I usually get a few random ones from people I had forgotten about.

Beer and Pringles here and I'm already in 2020 . Let me tell you - it's the bloody future already ! Have a good one everyone

Haven't caught up with tft yet but just hoping on to wish you all a happy new year 2020!hope this year brings you much health and happiness x

I would recommend a dog. Great company. Mine is flat out next to me on the sofa. Dating is too much like hard work. I’m 52 now and can’t be bothered.

@Frenchlady14 ew that is wrong. Did you pull him up on it?

@Menora I agree with the others. Make sure you are really clear with what you want if you decide to move ahead with it. It could be a positive thing, but if he is making you doubt your instincts at all, that is not a good sign.

Anyone else having trouble with tinder tonight? It's letting me match but messages aren't sending or coming through. I've logged out and in again- deleted and reinstalled the app.....

Happy New Year everyone!

Menora I agree with the others - he's trampling over what you're saying, but doing it in a way that looks caring. Be careful.

Frenchlady I bloody hate those! And they never do look young enough to get away with it!

Sunshine it's fortunate that I have a very very sturdy bed

Today's the day I'm meeting friends of Mr BC. They're a couple who were friends with him and his late wife. And we're having lunch. And possibly a walk - I feel like the rule I always applied to first dates should be applied here, and we should just have a coffee or something. I bloody hope it's not awkward! And I want them to like me. And I have literally no idea what to wear!! Any suggestions ?

Oh Bats.You will be fine. Wear something you are comfortable in esp if you are going for a walk. I think you should give us a loo update though.

Don't catastrophise this, and remember they knew his wife for a long time. This is only your first meet.

Happy new year! I have to work today 😭my ex and I broke my old bed and he had to fix it for me!

I’ve read up about avoidant attachment it does seem that this is like me and it definitely comes from my rubbish childhood. I’m not avoidant with my DC or my friends or Dsis but I think yes anyone else who is on the outside of this small group has a slim chance of getting in and staying in. Clingy is my worst fear

So I didn’t invite him out for NY but I notice he’s changed his WA photo 3 TIMES

He wants me to go out with him today, he wants to ‘raise a glass to the new year’ and ‘I hope you will save a kiss for me’

I’m done

@BatshitCrazyWoman

This one is for you

Thanks salty I know intellectually it'll be fine. But I have real issues with my self-confidence if it's something important to me!

So use this as a lesson and a new beginning in building self-confidence. New decade, new you.

@BatshitCrazyWoman I hope it goes really well meeting his friends today!

@Menora even with the avoidant thing, I think a huge part of this is the way he is behaving. If he were going at a more reasonable pace (I think this is over the top by most people's standards) then there wouldn't be an issue. The issue is him being clingy and needy- NOT you. @BatshitCrazyWoman summed it up well- trampling over your feelings but doing it in a way that looks caring.

Be really, really blunt in being done. Otherwise he won't listen.

Best of luck, Bats!

Good luck Bats!