Dating thread 177. Drinking Prosecco on our own trying to arrange a christmas snog

[Marlboroandmalbec34]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

No said have a lovely Christmas!

Aw Mr Beard has now messaged me to say he is working away on Monday now . Which he does do so no reason to do think it’s a lie, (and can check location on Tinder) but ... he asked if I had plans for the weekend and I don’t know if he means with a view to seeing me tomorrow or whether he is just being polite. Didn’t respond right away as only just seen message so he’s not online now. This is harder when you like them. Must. Not. Overinvest. I’ve not met him, he might be a terrible disappointment IRL

If you have someone you’ve seen a number of times (4 or 5 ish) do you mesage each other every day and how many times ?

Evening all,
I have over invested...I am a bad rule keeper.
I have seen Mr Popcorn 3 times - twice he has stayed over + we have had a lot of sex, which has been fabulous. He has been a little 'off' yesterday and today (he stayed over Thursday pm) . He lives about 1 1/2 hours away and I have been really clear about how I couldn't be driving back + forth - FT teacher and I have my daughter all but 4 nights a month. I don't know what to do now - we haven't known each other long enough to be attached - but I feel attached + have seen him online. It's a bit shit. I think he will agree with me that it is too far. Bit cross with myself.
I'm sorry to all of you who are having a crappy time, and hooray for all the lovely updates.
I have been feeling really bad as we move up to Christmas, I just feel bombarded by 'perfect' couples everywhere, which I know isn't true, but still saddening. It's my daughter's birthday today and exh and I took her out - it has taken us a good couple of years to be able to get to that point; it was lovely for her but a bit of a punch in the stomach thinking about how things 'could' have been (if he hadn't been an abusive bastard)
Ho hum...
I hope that everyone who has a date today has a great time...

This OLD is so fucking hard not to over invest. Second guessing what is right and what's not!

Mind you dating without OLD in the dare ages was hard as well

And last time I was single People had phones but you rarely checked them now we expect instant answers or think why’s someone been on line or read my mesage and not replied

Get rid of the blue ticks/online status ladies! It's a breath of fresh air, honestly.

I've been messaging someone since the start of the week and we have arranged to meet up tomorrow. Predictably he's gone quiet the past couple of days and has not responded to a message I sent earlier to ask if we're still meeting. Why does this happen and why am I bothered by it?!

@Sunshineandflipflops I definitely need to do that!

I did that and lasted a day 😂😂

I haven't had it on for months and treat whatsapp like text messaging now.

It's so awfully horrible. I am trying to get Mr Straight out of my head so have 2 new irons, I'm not asking them out though, not this time.

It's horrible, so many people to choose from, fearful about getting pipped to the post at any minute.

Mr gray doesn’t mesage when he has his kids really (I know this 🤷🏼‍♀️) he’ll go online thou in case their mums messages or to update her but it gets me every weekend 😂.

Definitely turn off blue ticks! Much better.

Have found out how to turn off the ticks - thank you, I will see how long I last!

I haven’t turned off the blue ticks, because I find if a guy has done that I think he’s a player. What I do is archive the conversation as soon as I’ve replied so I can’t see if they’ve read and ignored. Though to be fair Mr Greedy and Mr Mad have never made me feel paranoid on WhatsApp. The one guy who did, I binned - just couldn’t cope!

Hugs to all who are finding this season tough. I’m hating Christmas for the first time ever.

I feel the same about this Christmas @tigerdater. I'm very lonely. It sucks.

@tigerdater I do the archiving of chats too!

I may have had one Baileys too many, but I have to say without this thread I would be even lonelier - the warmth and support here are great! Thanks guys. And these 💐 are for you salty

Oh you shouldn't have @tiger 🥰 some for you too

You are right this is such a supportive place. It helps a lot.

It was my birthday in November and the only people who acknowledged it were my mum and colleagues. Don't get me wrong. I'm glad to have a mum and colleagues who remember but the loneliness has been building since then. An old iron who I had a huge crush on seems to be back online - looked him up without creating a new profile - but he hasn't contacted me. Not meant to be, I know but its just a ball of rubbish. This too will pass.

With you all on the lonely bench 😩💐

I'm ok, I'm just having to block out thoughts of FWB loved up with someone else. Genuinely couldn't give a fuck what stbxh is up to or if he's with anyone but I'm sad about FWB 😂

I'm still swiping lots, chatting lots. Work colleague clearly wants it bad but I'm not going there

I'm actually feeling pretty good about my no men over christmas rule. I had a nice little chat with Mr Pilates and was totally honest that i was gong through shit and didn't want to dump it all on a new friendship so i would just be offline until the new year and he was lovely and said he would look out some dates he was free in jan and looked forward to seeing me then. I had a nice message from the other one who is just a friend. I am missing the apps less than i thoight i would. I have thought of things to send the irons a couple of times but ruthlessly stopped myself from actually doing it because it's unnecessary and its just distraction.

Can anyone tell me why I'm not that bothered about stbx being in a relationship with the OW but lose the plot at the thought of him introducing the kids to her?

Leaving aside the kids feelings or the fact that it's too soon why does this push my buttons so very painfully? I cant articulate it...

Nomore for me it felt awful because I couldn't stop picturing the children having a great time without me. Of course I'd rather they were having fun. It's still difficult to come to terms with when it was done so quickly. He introduced them a month after leaving 🙄