Dating thread 177. Drinking Prosecco on our own trying to arrange a christmas snog

[Marlboroandmalbec34]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Have fun @lifeisgoodagain !

It's been 8 weeks since I've seen Mr G and he'll be here tomorrow. Eeek! I might burst into tears when I see him, soppy me.

Oh Marlbs. That's a shame but nearly a year is a long time for a FWB. Do you remember the reason, season, lifetime poem I shared a few months ago? Maybe the season is over, if the reason isn't

I have a new iron called Mr Red. Another to potentially follow. Am in no rush.

@Marlboroandmalbec34 it's not that you aren't good enough. He doesn't want to commit but that's on him not you.

I know he's not been awful to you or anything but I think keeping in touch makes it hard for you to move on. I resisted blocking Mr S for so long. It was a relief when I did block him. But he had been very cold towards me which was the catalyst for me. I can see it would be hard in your situation.

I do salty I actually mentioned the poem a few days ago up thread. Fingers crossed with new iron

Yes!!

Mr G is here for four days. He's coming out just to see me. 😍

That's definitely progess @shitwithsugaron
Good work x

Aww @pp that's lovely

Yes !!!! Excellent progress shitwith.

@shitwithsugaron great progress

@PerfectPretender I bet you cannot wait

I hope everyone’s Christmas went as well as it could and there was some time of peace and relaxation even if it was hard.

Mr Gray stayed last night and it was lovely although we were asleep for 10.30 , it was a bit of a big deal as he’s only man apart from ex h whose stayed here. Felt a bit wierd as first . I’m still not sure what it is as in fwb etc but it’s nice and fun and I don’t have any issues or any worries about things like messaging or not.

That's good to hear @Jane1978xx

I had some money from my parents for Xmas so today I went and bought myself a new bed. My current one is old and broken and was mine and ex's bed so it sounds silly but this is MY bed and I decide who sleeps in it (mostly me and ds who at 12 still likes to come in with me) 😊

I'm excited and nervous, it's been too long. But he's lovely so it's worth it so far.

@Sunshineandflipflops. I have money from parents and family and wondered what to buy , maybe a new bed or at least a new mattress is a good idea 😌

Afternoon all, just checking in. To all those who've spent it without the little ones (and not so little ones) and wanker exes plastering smiles on faces whilst cursing under your breath you deserve a medal 🏅 and plenty of 🥂🍸🍷🍰🍫.

@Marlboroandmalbec34 Mr Big certainly has a way of keeping you coming back for more, but I think you may be coming to the slow realisation that you need a bit more than what he can offer you. Good luck with the new iron(s).

@Shitwithsugaron I don't think there's a right or a wrong answer as to the amount of time you should leave it before you get back on the apps. My concern when MrAbs dumped me was seeing him on POF which is where we met, so I went on Tinder and met MrC after 4 weeks (and had a lot of fun with others in between the two of them 😳). I wouldn't give him the gift either - you've already spent the money, whether he gets it or not is neither here nor there and you're just showing him that he's still taking up head/heart space if you give it to him now.

For those not happy with the amount of messaging you are getting from your irons, just call them on it. You obviously want more than they are giving and that isn't neediness, it's just having different communication styles and expectations about what you require as a minimum - @EchoElephant seeing each other for 6 months, not even a token gift for you and he doesn't message you from one day to the next despite being on FB and WA? My gut says you're the fall back girl again - didn't he do this to you previously - flakes on you at the last minute and expects you to be available when it suits him? Take a step right back and let him initiate the contact- you soon find out where you stand. Know your worth sweetheart. I remember being in absolute awe of you when you confronted him last time - get those balls back girl and tell him you're either in his life or not - out of sight doesn't mean out of mind, you still exist when you're apart and you expect to be treated with a bit more consideration than he's shown you.

DD and I have just got back from 5 brilliant days at MrC's. Had some lovely, long slightly tipsy into the night chats about where we see ourselves in the future and what we mean to each other, and I'm very happy with the direction in which we are going 🥰

That's a lovely update JeSuis!

shitwith I'd not give him the present either.

Mr BC is on his way and will be here in an hour 😍

I normally love Christmas but it's been difficult this year. One DC was very damaged by my continuing to stay with his father - exh was an absolute bastard to him and he suffers bouts of depression. I feel enormously guilt about it - I stayed because I knew there would be a huge battle over the DC so I waited until the youngest was 18/19 and off to uni. It's the first Christmas since my mother died - we weren't close but I think I'm grieving her not being the parent I needed. My marriage very much replicated my parent's marriage :-( My father seems to have become mentally unwell and kept on calling ambulances and bed blocking in hospital. He's just been admitted for two weeks to a care home for the elderly mentally infirm. I don't like my father - he has a nasty violent temper and my mother and I trod on eggshells. I was scared of him. He's become whiny and seens to think we're amazingly close and loving, and it makes me feel sick, to be frank. I'm just getting over a horrible virus so not 100% yet.

I was fielding calls from hospital, social services and the care home over Christmas, so couldn't just relax Mr BC and I have a night in a local hotel tonight to get away from it all! So sorry to whinge!!

@shitwithsugaron yes deleting photos is amazing progress. I've kept my photos (only a handful of us together) but in my google photo drive. Not just one my phone.

I've deleted my dating accounts today. Going to see where things end up with Mr B. Give swiping a rest.

Sorry, very late with this but what is it with the Christmas messages from previous dates/ matches? I got one from a guy who got firmly under my skin but has actually managed to ghost me twice. Now a jaunty little 'merry Christmas'?? Why???

I'm not sure about MrIT tomorrow. He's still not found out when his train arrives. I'm still swiping on bumble and trying not to put all my eggs in one basket.

Mucky I have had that from several old irons 🤣, I don’t really get it, maybe they are looking back at the past year and realising what c&nts they have been. I have just had a old iron look at my profile on POF, we had a date a year ago and I told him I didn’t want a 2nd but he was a nice guy (just not my type), from time to time he messages me just to say hello.

He sounds quite sweet!

Yes, I had loads! Most guys who as you say, just weren't quite my type or were more keen on FWB but this one in particular puzzles me. He did it last year, I replied and then nothing. Saw him again by chance, he was super enthusiastic, then ghosted. Now my Christmas greeting again. Ah well!

Hmm I met Mr Red for a drink. Sexually I don't think we'll be compatible due to different interests. Nice guy though.