Dating thread 177. Drinking Prosecco on our own trying to arrange a christmas snog

[Marlboroandmalbec34]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@EchoElephant @Dancerinthemoonlight it takes seconds to send someone a text. If you are on someone's mind it wouldn't interrupt their day in any way to do so. I think we should all decide not to take such low expectations of how we are treated into the new decade.

I agree with the others, it doesn't take long to send a few texts during the day - I struggle to do that when I'm a work as I mostly have my phone nowhere near me but over Christmas there's definitely time.

I found out Mr BC wasn't alone at Christmas - he had his adult SDC and late wife's parents there (he still messaged me though!). He definitely said he was going to be on his own - and then told me that he they were coming over. I am a teeny tiny bit about why he said he was going to be alone I must admit. I re-sent him his own WhatsApp which said it but he didn't really respond. I'm seeing him later and will see what he says.

Agree totally with @Notcoolmum a quick text takes seconds even if they are busy. Be different If you were expecting constant communication. Know your worth girls.

@supercali77 that's hilarious. Must have made you feel 17 again...

@EchoElephant sorry he's being rubbish. ESP as you're alone.

I'm feeling sad and lonely which is not like me...

@shitwithsugaron maybe you're close to being ready? Maybe new year would be a good time to start it again?

@shitwithsugaron nothing wrong with not practising what you preach 😁 at least you know what you should be accepting. My standards for myself are so low but Very good for advising others.

This time last year I was wondering what the hell was going on with the guy who has now reverted to being My best male friend, hence to be known as Mr BFF. He suddenly stopped replying to texts and went very vague. I need to remind myself of how he behaved and what he did to me which was really bad. He's extremely lucky I let him back into my life. I need to stop mooning over him and not see him for a few weeks and keep remembering how he treated me. It was appalling. I actually first went on the apps 2 years ago to try to get myself over him. Two years ago! And I still think we should be together. Actually I should call him Mr Avoidant. Ah well...

@shitwithsugaron addiction/not wanting to be alone/boredom/needing attention

What I do if I'm feeling like that is set up a fake account and have a swipe. Then it gets it out of my system.

@shitwithsugaron I've always gone straight back on. You don't have to meet anyone but nothing wrong with some idle flirting. And it gives me the hope there are still options for me.

I agree shit you can go on the apps and have a look.

@shitwithsugaron you may well gave done a lot of grieving for this relationship whilst you were still in it. I could understand you being ready to move on. It's not like the end was unexpected?

Way to go @supercali77 😅

Re people messaging or being in touch, I've long believed people will make the effort if you are a priority in their life. Dating wise, I think it's even more apparent and if men have wanted to message me, they have always found a way.

@shitwithsugaron maybe not the app you met Mr B on though. It never occurred to me Mr S would go back on the apps. We weren't together for 5 months and he didn't go on them in hat time and had always made it sound he had done with them. But a friend saw him on Bumble the day we stopped again this time. I assume he blocked me as I haven't seen him. Thankfully. And Mr B saw me when we broke up. Which must have been awful for him. That's my only word of caution.

The inevitable "how long have you been single" conversations might be a tad awkward?

shit I felt really weird about seeing Mr Skinny on the apps (well POF) just over a week after we split, I still feel weird about it now when his face pops up and I can see he’s online but then again if he’s online I know he hasn’t met anyone. I was shocked that he was back on the apps so soon after we split but then he could never handle being in his own.

I’m off to the gym in a bit, I’m not sure I can date anyone for a month as I feel so out of shape and fat after stuffing my face over Christmas.

Nooner else feeling a bit sad about new year? I will be spending New Year’s Eve at home yet again, luckily dd is now old enough to stay up and keep me company but it would be so nice to have someone else to see the new year in with. Lets hope 2020 is our year 🙂

I started speaking to a couple of people straight after Mr S and met up with Mr B about a month after.

I went back in the apps the day after Mr SAS ended things and met Mr Ad 😊

I'm spending NYE with Mr Ad and have the choice between staying it at mine and cooking a nice meal or going to a 'sober rave' with his AA friends 😂
I need alcohol to dance 😳 or at least to know the people I am with VERY well!

It took me about 2 months to delete the WA chat @shitwithsugaron We had a weekend of texting 2 months into NC and when he ended the chat by saying we shouldn't talk anymore I deleted everything. It was scary. But also a relief. No more rereading and over analysing everything he'd said to me. When we met up again he had kept it all. I'm sure he will have deleted now though!!

I reactivated my fab profile. I knew that would happen if I spent too much time on here.