Dating thread 177. Drinking Prosecco on our own trying to arrange a christmas snog

[Marlboroandmalbec34]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

I used to drunk date but I don’t think it put me in the best light to be honest. I’m very flirty and sexyish when ive had a drink and I think it gives all the wrong impression of me. Since I date sober generally it means I have a clearer head. Even if it’s less fun

Seeing him for about 5 weeks. He had an issue with his 9yo today who was sending her DM texts saying she was bored at his house and wanted to go home. The DM screenshot them and sent them to Mr Moving. He was really really gutted over it.
Also it transpires his own DM seems to be guilting him into giving her money quite frequently. She bought his DB an expensive gift with Mr Movings money then bought him something shit and cheap

I also vote for train because I hate driving and flirt much better when a bit tipsy.

@CheesecakeAddict I'd get the train, if you don't like him you can leave him to it and treat it as a lovely day out on your own, do a bit of sales shopping, get a glass of wine in a bar, read a book on the train home. Then either way you win

Now I'm feeling sorry for Moving....

I reckon train too. All my dates are at the pub 😂

Actually the majority of my dates have been at the same pub... wonder what the staff think 😂

@CheesecakeAddict make the first data short and escapable

I hate driving so would go on the train, but I don't really drink so preferred sober dates 😂 (I divorced an alcoholic so am wary around drinkers). That's no help at all is it?!!

Bonded with Mr BC over our love of cups of tea in cafes ....

Just got told by Mr S to call back when I'm in a better mood because it's hard to get a conversation out of me. What am I meant to say, that I feel down because of an argument I had yesterday, that it hasn't been a good Christmas, that I feel like you would sooner spend more time with your family than me because I didn't talk to you once yesterday and I have barley seen you this month, that I'm pissed off because I got you some really nice presents and I made the same mistake as before by giving nice gifts and getting nothing from a bfd in return. Just can't be bothered at the moment, I love him but Im struggling to pretend to be happy today

I just had a massive meltdown at my teen DC tonight. Someone opened a tub of chocolates I was going to give Mr G, for his own DC, as they are British chocs they don't have over there. Not many were eaten but fgs, I can't give an opened tub as a gift, can I? And they won't be selling them anymore anywhere.

I am really disappointed and upset. All the other junk we've had in the house and those get pinched? My DC all seem very believable at not knowing about it so it might be a friend who drunkenly nabbed it when I wasn't in the kitchen to say otherwise, but that annoys me just as much. Left the empty wrappers behind as well! Gah. I'm getting irritated just thinking about it.

It's not like Mr G will care at all, but I do!

@shitwithsugaron probably not because he is having financial difficulties at the moment as he is retraining for a different career so I actually wasn't expecting anything. I wasn't expecting Christmas to hit me hard this year as usually I love Christmas. I think it hit me because my ex had a child in August this year which means that they found out his fiance was pregnant around this time. I didn't know he had a fiance otherwise I wouldn't have been with him and I took him to see the lion kind and paid for a hotel and all expenses for the weekend and all I got was excuses that it hadn't arrived or that he had forgotten it etc. Even if he just said come to London for the day and we will do something that would be fine but I don't think that will happen.

@Dancerinthemoonlight not sure what your situation is with Mr S but I would only match his level of interest and not exceed it. A present doesn't have to be expensive. And you can always find time for the things that are important to you.

@Notcoolmum we have been dating exclusively for 2 months. He is very artistic so could have painted me something or written as song etc and I would have loved it because thought went into it.
I think it's more difficult aswell as his mum's cancer is back and she isn't having any more treatment so they had a huge family Christmas, I don't think he has realised she has done this as she might not be well enough next year. I want him to spend time with her and them but at the same time I'm feeling left out and not important, then feeling guilty because of feeling that way

2 months seems very new and he has a lot going on. Do you think he's on the same page as you?

Yes I do because I have already had spoken to him about him having a lot going on and if he wanted to see me or if he wanted to sort everything out first. I think it's just a funny and busy time of year. I'm sure things will be better when we talk later

Finally caught up with the thread - phew!
Sending festive well wishes to all - too many posts to comment on everyone's individually!
Xmas/Boxing Day bit of a mixed bag for me - good stuff - xmas day itself was good despite no dc and being at work, also had a lovely Xmas dinner with bf's family. Second Xmas dinner with my family today. Lovely present from bf. DD's reaction to her present - full of gratitude and happy tears - so sweet. Negatives - ds being tricky-moody and ungrateful re presents initially, bf had irritated me a couple of times and met bf's ex (went ok but just not a nice person).

I'm back from my mothers. No DC but feeling ok as have plenty of work on and a date today with mr longdistance. Also, I might have accidentally hooked up with my mums neighbours son on christmas day. On his mums living room floor after they'd all gone to bed. Such class and style. Hes been texting since but the fact is we are worlds apart in terms of interests and life, hes also looking a little rough round the edges now though I fancied him when we were teens. I dont know how to dampen that right down?

@EchoElephant actually I'm going against the grain on this one. You're on your own at Christmas. If he knows that and isnt asking how you are - hes either astonishingly ignorant, forgetful or careless. Your needs are your needs - if a man who remembers and thinks about it and checks in is what you want and need then either way hes not hitting the mark. Yes people are busy at xmas but post 10pm when things wind down he can always check in.

supercali77 I was just about to post that my situation seems to be similar to Dancerinthemoonlight
It's a weird time of year, with lots going on. Except when you're on your own and feeling a bit left out of the festivities.

Mr FO didn't get me a present either. Although he did look very embarrassed when I gave him mine.

I sent him a message about 5ish yesterday saying that I hoped he'd a good day and that if he had a few minutes later in the evening perhaps we could have a chat. He read it straight away but never replied. But again I can see he's been on WA and fbook until late at night.
I get that he's busy with family but they're all grown ups. And they know about me, so I thought he could find five minutes to talk or even just a reply saying he was thinking of me. We've been dating/friends for six months now!
Bit childish, but when he sends his usual Good morning message today, I think I'll read it but not send a reply.

@EchoElephant 6 months of pissing about. Freinds. Then more than freinds. But not really replying. You've spent christmas alone and analysing his online times because he disnt bother his arse to reply. Whether this is conscious behaviour on his part or the infamous 'busy' he is not considering you enough by comparison to how much you consider him. I don't want to be the christmas killjoy but I think there is a mismatch here and you deserve someone in your life that at least REPLIES to a fucking text x

@supercali77 that's fantastic 😂 on his mum's floor. Was it good?

Doesn't matter if that's all it is, bit of fun like that hurts no one.

@EchoElephant I don't get the whole too busy to even send a couple of messages cos it's Xmas thing. I was with my kids Xmas day, I had the time to still pop on the thread and send a couple of messages to friends. I think you deserve better, it's not very kind of him tbh 💐

Morning, I just want to agree that you can come up with all the excuses in the world but it takes seconds to send a message and minutes for a quick phone call.

It's the last of the 'not so anniversaries' for me today. Two years to the day that I found messages on my husbands iPad between him and the OW. When he got home from work that day his bag was packed.

I think I've done all my crying though and today I go and buy myself a new bed. MY bed that I choose and sleep in (and Mr Ad of course 😊)

I'm going to wait & see what Mr FO says today. If he gives me a good reason for his lack of communication then I'll politely say that I'm a bit upset he didn't reply.

But if he just sends his usual 'good morning, hope you have a good day' then I'll either ignore him or tell him what I think of him. Depends on how I'm feeling at the time.

@TheDevilsPedicure it wasnt bad actually like a re run of a fumble we had when I was 17 😂