Dating thread 177. Drinking Prosecco on our own trying to arrange a christmas snog

[Marlboroandmalbec34]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Loving all your 'types', it's reassuring that people don't all go for the same thing (or else there would be so much competition!)

I don't like overweight or bald (ex was bald so reminds me of him, though he was not fat), quite like a beard and nice eyes, but otherwise no particular hair colour/build/style preferences, though I like quite an angular face. Have odd things I hate randomly (gelled hair, florid complexion, certain shoes, men who stick their tongues out in photos which actually makes me gag, Mirror selfies, Life University graduates.) Haha I'm surprised I ever swipe right. And once I do anyone who calls me hun or sweetie is gone. One man who was 56 sent me a message saying "I wanna go out with you" with a heart eyes emoji and I had to stop myself snapping back with "sorry, are you 12? Grow up and have a proper conversation" I sound horrible don't I ?

Got a question though, have any of you ever gone out with someone you haven't fancied that much in photos and they've won you over with their personalities? As some of the people I went for IRL in my younger days I would never have fancied from a photo ... but finding out is so time consuming!

@uttersocks intelligence, confidence and wit are so high on my agenda. A man who has those attributes will often be sexy to me. Sure some physical attraction is important but which they are is far more important to me.

Ffs who they are

I’ve definitely dated guys who I didn’t initially find attractive but that’s always been in real life as opposed to online. I think online dating is too much of a visual thing.

In terms of type, I think I’ve always liked older guys. Definitely not into bald at all. Other than that no real type. If they are older, I tend to be more picky about how attractive they are. & yes it’s good to allll have different types aha

I wasn't sure about Mr BCs pics when I met him first (as a possible FWB lol). But ge has such an air of quiet confidence and is scarily clever so I absolutely fell for him. And now he's just gorgeous in my eyes.

@uttersocks I had a 9 month fling last year with a guy who I didn't initially find physically attractive but his wit and warmth won me over - he had me in stitches over messages before we'd even met which is why I agreed to meet him - I don't even know how he'd ended up in my matches! Anyway what I learned from that was wit goes a long way but lack of physical attraction compounds anything that might also be lacking and in the end it was just too much to overcome. The attraction wore off entirely.

Ahhh shitwith I'm missing him so much - I last saw him on Sunday morning. Will be seeing him tomorrow afternoon until New Year's Day - meeting some of his friends then and I'm so scared they won't like me 😕

@bats! Anyone who knows Mr BC will be able to see how happy you two are together. You've nothing to worry about.

That's interesting @Peanutbuttermouth ... I really appreciate clever and funny (rare on these apps) and when I was 17 I was head over heels with a bloke who was not remotely attractive but always had gorgeous girlfriends due to his charisma but yeh when I started to go off him it happened fast. I'd still love to meet an equivalent to Mr BC though... I think we all would!

Yep...

There's a queue 😉

@UtterSocks when I started dating Mr R i wasn’t that impressed by his photo but his profile sounded interesting and fun. Then we spoke over the phone and his voice and mannerisms gave me the fanny gallops and I found him instantly attractive when I met him and there was lots of snogging on our first date. Even now there’s just something I find really sexy even though he’s not that tall and is a bit chubby. I hope the attraction doesn’t wear off.

I have to join some of you on the spent-time-with-husband bench but unfortunately I ended up screaming at him. I am generally so happy with my life yet I am still so angry at his shit parenting and can’t control my temper when he’s around. He comes over, makes a coffee, plays with his phone, ignores the dc. They don’t like spending time with him as he ignores them and sticks them in the car for hours to take them to relatives so someone else can cook and entertain them. New Years resolution to count to ten and keep my cool around him.

Yay. Mr Pilates has given me his free dates for January. Dirty weekend set up, as long as stbx plays ball and takes the kids.

Oh god. I'm getting wet just thinking about it.

Shit. I'm a bit drunk. Sorry for tmi post

@EchoElephant I am a bad texter when I am away from someone. I wouldn't read too much into it if he is not like that in person. I'm sure it will just give you more to talk about when you next get together.

First date: is this odd? I asked one of my irons out for a drink one evening and he said yes, but asked if we could make it into a day outing? Is this a good sign that he likes our conversations and is as smitten as I am, or am I being naive that a day trip to somewhere for a coffee and a walk around the city might not be great if we are actually not compatable IRL?

@NoMoreWeepingAndWanking 😂😂🙌🙌

@CheesecakeAddict I personally wouldn't really want to do a day outing for a first date but that's me. I prefer a drink, if it's no good you can end it quickly.

@NoMoreWeepingAndWanking woohoooo! Glad you've got something arranged with Mr Pilates. Just what you need 👍

@TheDevilsPedicure that's what I thought. I've decided to agree because I like our convos. I've recently moved here, so worst case scenario, I just end up finally getting to know someone local!

Then there is the issue of transport. I could drive or take the train. Either would take 1 hour. He is getting the train. The car would allow me to exit whenever if things didn't go to plan, and it also means I don't have to hang about awkwardly at the train station. But parking will be super expensive and what if he wants to go somewhere for a drink? I will be the loser with a coke 🍻😂. I'm totally over thinking this, right?

@CheesecakeAddict I would get the train. I had some terrible sober dates, I definitely need a couple of glasses to relax a bit.

I usually do drive so I can make a get away 😂

Mr Moving is not having a good Christmas. In fact he sounds very sad and unhappy. Not with me but stuff with his DC and his DM. I do feel a bit sorry for him. It seems I am the only good thing for him right now which is prob why he is over investing in me. No pressure
We spoke on the phone for about an hour while I was driving home from dropping DD and I ended up giving him life advice. So sexy and hot right?

OK I need a 3rd vote to break the draw.

@Menora That really sucks for him. How long have you been seeing him?

As most of you know, Mr Ad is sober so our first date was sober...and our second...and third...and so on!

It was actually quite refreshing to be completely 'honest' with each other and get to know the real him early on.

I could have had a drink but I thought it was only fair if he had to do sober dating that I did too!

@KeepCalmCarryOhFuckIt I’m not supposed to used it for bleaching, but I have been for about four years, I use it every month (smoker) and it hasn’t damaged it at all.