Dating thread 177. Drinking Prosecco on our own trying to arrange a christmas snog

[Marlboroandmalbec34]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@shitwithsugaron I fear my posts will get increasingly rambling as the evening goes on 😂

Ok. Ex has gone. So has my pati nice. Really need overtired and hyper kids to gtf to sleep so I can have my meltdown in peace and unwitnessed

I had to see the ex too! He's incapable of being alone with his kids so we invited him out for an hour with friends. He came, it was nice and civil, I went home feeling pleased with myself. Have since been receiving increasingly garbled drunken abusive texts. Fucking arse.

@Peanutbuttermouth block him, what a tosser. Wtf is wrong with them

So away from the festivities....

Work colleague and I have still been messaging through bumble.... lots of flirting and sex talk. He sent a screenshot of a hotel booking website suggesting we go get a room tomorrow night. It actually made me feel slightly freaked out.... it's made me realise I'm not ready to jump in bed with someone til they've made an effort with me, til it's something more than a casual shag. I feel way too fragile for that. I want to feel respected and cared about. Lol how on earth do you find it on tinder? 😂

Emotional day which has suddenly got on top of me as I've got home from friends.
I intended to take some flowers to my mum's memorial garden this morning but decided at last minute I couldn't do it while dealing with not seeing my son today .I'm going to go tomorrow instead before I pick him up.
Had a lovely afternoon with my friends and their family, they've been amazingly supportive this year and I can't explain how grateful I am to them for making the most difficult day I've had to deal with so far much better than it could have been.
Hoping the emotions will have calmed down before I go to see MissH in a bit. Not entirely sure what specifically I'm upset about if I'm honest 🙄

@TheDevilsPedicure if you're not comfortable with it then say no. There will be blokes on Tinder that will be very happy to respect and care about you, that's a normal expectation, you just need to filter out the dross to find them 😉

@Ant330 it's an emotional day, not surprising. Sorry about your mum- that sounds a good idea to take flowers tomorrow before seeing your son. I've been sad thinking of how many people aren't here any more and I really miss them at Christmas, especially my grans.

I've also been sad thinking my DC will never have the same sort of Christmas's that I had, with both sides of their families spending the day together. But then they were never going to have that the way things were with ex anyway.

@Ant330 I immediately said to him I'm not in the headspace for it- I said I don't know what I want right now and I'm still kind of hung up on FWB. Work colleague is nice but I don't know if I fancy him enough or get that feeling that I had with FWB. I think settling for less than that spark won't do me any good

@shitwithsugaron glad to hear today has been ok. Doesn't matter what it could have been, because future Christmas's will be better with a partner who deserves you and gives you what you give back. It might be tough right now but you know there was a big imbalance on that score.
Hope you and DD have had a good day 😉

@TheDevilsPedicure consider it like this, FWB has shown you what you're looking for in a future partner. Tough to deal with it ending, but has shown you there are men out there that would make you happy. Dont accept anything less, because you'll know you're just settling for all the wrong reasons 😉
But yes you're right, Christmas seems to raise a lot of emotions 🙄 Couldn't have done flowers today, I'd have been a mess!

@Ant330 that's what I feel too- I'm only hung up on him in the sense that yes I do really miss him but I'm not consumed with what ifs or thoughts of trying to get back in touch with him- I'm leaving it. He's taught me that it's possible to find someone when you think you can't ever find someone you'll have chemistry with. I'm inarticulate more than usual tonight after the gin 😂

Have a great time with Miss H and hope the emotions settle a bit. I won't be sorry to see the back of Xmas to be honest.

Projectile vomit from the 4 year old now. Because today wasn't shitty enough already.

Fuck it. I feel so lost

@NoMoreWeepingAndWanking you poor thing. Really the last thing you need right now. I hope it's just all the food/excitement of Xmas

It also needs saying after re-reading the last few pages, some of you have got some proper dickheads for exes! This isn't me doing the whole keyboard white knight thing, but you're doing cracking jobs as single parents in the face of considerable adversity, hats off to you!
I cannot understand men that shirk their responsibilities as father's once the marriage ends, you don't stop being a dad just because your marriage is over, makes no sense to me at all 🙄
Pisses me right off because MissH is in the same boat and I have two good friends whose exes have suddenly become shit dads as soon as they separated. Twats!

Rich food plus exhaustion plus hysterical crying after an altercation with her brother I suspect.

I just needed peace to sit with my feelings. Now there all stirred up again. I'm so angry that I've been left with all this. However crap he was in many ways I wouldn't have to deal with illnesses on my own and it was just the final straw today.

@Ant330 mine is the opposite- well in the sense that he was always a shit dad but now we aren't together loves to do the Disney dad routine and talks about going for 50/50 custody (he'd never cope with that nor is it in the DC best interests).

@NoMoreWeepingAndWanking it's shit, it really is, but it won't always be this way. I hope the exhaustion means that once cleaned up she'll be asleep pretty fast for you.

Keep posting, I'll be on and off tonight. I'm gearing up for the sob-fest that Gavin & Stacey is going to be for me 😥😂

@TheDevilsPedicure you're spelling is still ok so you can afford to drink some more gin 😂
But yes there will be others out there like FWB. My ex set a high bar for anybody else to follow and I doubted I'd ever find anybody that I'd feel the same about, but I have. And even if it doesn't go the distance with MissH it's given me the confidence that there's others out there for us.Same applies to you 😉
@NoMoreWeepingAndWanking projectile vomiting isn't unexpected after all the Christmas excitement 😂 just seems worse to deal with while you're feeling low. Get through it, better is to come 😉

I’m almost teetotal 😬 no one wasn’t to date me 🤣

devils pedicure we watched Gavin and Stacey for the first time on our honeymoon. It was always special to us. I don't know if I can watch it. I really don't

@shitwithsugaron shagging a random or the awkwardness of shagging a colleague is the last thing I need I think 😂 I think it shows I'm in a reasonable place though- I'm still swiping lots on tinder and bumble and want to go on dates/meet people. I really want to meet someone that gives me the same feelings as fwb did and I'm not going to settle for less- I'm ok being single so don't feel some desperate need just so I'm not lonely.

@NoMoreWeepingAndWanking I loved Gavin and Stacey when it was first on- I was 19! And now I'm thinking over on how much my life has changed in that time, all the good and bad things that have happened. It's poignant for those reasons.

Also FWB was from South Wales and has a pretty strong accent so it's hard hearing it and the welsh English 😂