Dating thread 177. Drinking Prosecco on our own trying to arrange a christmas snog

[Marlboroandmalbec34]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

sunshine you could reply with 'it's nice that the children had both of us on christmas morning'

Just switch the focus to the kids @Sunshineandflipflops - 'yes,I'm glad you came round for the children. Enjoy the rest of your day'

A proper merry Christmas to everyone. It is just a day, but a good one to.enjoy some.respite from the daily grind and just chill out. That's what I'll be doing

@SortingItOut

I'm not because he's potentially going to have a large cash windfall ... work completed before we separated so it's in my interest not to settle finances. Not 100% sure I'm going to file for divorce yet, there's lots of financial reasons not too including his amazing life assurance and pension which he's happy for me to share at 65. What works for one couple doesn't for another but I'm the financially savvy one, he still asks for help to file his tax return from me (I do this commercially) and I charged him!

So anyone else waiting for their ex or am I the only mug cooking them dinner??? At least my new bf has already left so no oops situation!

@EchoElephant

Sounds like Mr FO needs to realise how lucky he is, or replaced

Thanks all, have sent him a combination of both messages suggested.

Merry Chtistmas everybody! I ignored the fact I was on my own this morning by having a late night and a long lie in.
Just getting ready to go to pub and friends for dinner.
to all those finding today difficult as you say it's just another day 😉

Ex h has took dd out for a few hours for a walk and then a hot choc back at his. We will have dinner when she is back. I may plate him one up to take . He’s not coming in I offered him to come for the day but he refused and wanted to take her for most of the daylight hours. He also said he’d pay towards presents and he didn’t but told her they were off both of us 🤷🏼‍♀️

Merry christmas to all you lovely people. For those struggling today, may 2020 be a better year. I dont have my daughter today for the first time but at my mums and off to the pub. Xx

Horridly this is probably the nicest Christmas we've ever had. Except for odd awkward moments like when daddy only had two presents but I had several thanks to organised friends and presents if bought for myself from 'the cats' and a gorgeous gold bracelet with no name signed that he deliberately didn't ask about.

The weather is nice. I did breakfast and now stbx is doing the Christmas lunch while I snuggle the kids on the sofa watching telly. Lovely role reversal. And I actually don't care if it's inedible. I will not be pitching in. This is the first roast he's ever done for me in 15 years.

I'm not quite sure how I feel. A bit detached maybe. Will probably have a huge comedown when he fucks off. Going to my parents with the kids tomorrow.

Received a nice little message from my lurver (hah.) Mr Pilates wishing me a happy Christmas. I sent him a flirty light-hearted one back requiring no reply and will continue to leave him be until January. Much as I would like to engage I think it's a bad idea.

Though I have remembered an iron who lives near my parents. Conversation sort of drifted off with an agreement to maybe meet up over Christmas. Am tempted to contact him and see if that offer stands because I quite fancy a Christmas drink and to get away from family jollity. I'm not exactly invested though so happy to see what happens. Mr Corporate is his name though I'm not sure if that's a true reflection of him.

Hey all happy Christmas
I’m at families and not been on phone much which is obviously Mr Movings worst nightmare 😂

So far he’s asked me to go away for a weekend and changed his WA picture 3 times. I sent him a photo of Xmas tree/dog/jumper and he sent me a selfie

I miss DD1 as she is with her dad. I have DD2 with me. I let them choose this year no more forced family days. Ex, his partner and the small DC all had matching PJ’s last night and lots of photos and didn’t include DD1 so she was all sad and missing me

@menora how horrid for dd1. How old is she ? I have loads Of friends with step kids and they are always fully inc.

That's absolutely shit, @Menora. My ex gave very unbalanced gifts to my DC this year and they all noticed. The favoured one actually doesn't want to see him now, as she is more loyal to her siblings than her father. It's all very sad and unnecessary. Using children in some sort of twisted power play is wrong.

My DDs bought me some very special and thoughtful gifts this year, I was blubbing this morning! All in all this year is much happier than years past.

I have a new iron, mr smile, got chatting to him on tinder last night. We are going out on Saturday fingers crossed.

Very pleased for you @PerfectPretender

Merry Xmas everyone. I too am single on Christmas Day but spending with the family which has been lovely. Had a potential iron but all he seems to talk about it drink/how hungover he is so I'm thinking he is a party person and I've emphasised I'm not a drinker (it even says so in my profile). Expecting to be unmatched pretty soon enough. All good though, wishing you all lots of fun and happiness this coming year

Merry Christmas everyone. Had a message from Mr S this morning and I will phone him later when he can talk. He is at his mum's with extended family so it's very busy and noisy.

All ok here. Ex still behaving himself although he has drunk 3/4 of the booze he brought for two people for two days... and had a nap. Waiting for his GF to arrive, hope she behaves too. I seem to have gone alcohol intolerant (rather than spouse intolerant 😁) which I was when I was peri which is rather annoying. If it continues then it puts paid to any dating in spring. No one likes a teetotaller.

@unambiguousbeard Mr Ad is a teetotaller so all our dates have been alcohol free! Still going strong 4 months later though so maybe it's not a bad thing!

Thanks @saltysally

I've survived the ex husbands hosting of xmas.
It was actually quite a fun afternoon and we all made an effort.

He has since messaged to thank me for going over and said he misses family life and us all together (yeah, well, you fucked up so it's not my problem - I didnt say that of course, a bit like sunshine I just said what a nice time we had together)

Happy Xmas Evening everyone - hope you've had the Xmas you want

I'm in awe of the women on here putting their kids first and making sure they have a great Christmas, even if that means being around their exes. @SortingItOut I'm glad your afternoon was good.

I'm on the gin now- it's been a strange day. Happy and sad at the same time