Dating thread 177. Drinking Prosecco on our own trying to arrange a christmas snog

[Marlboroandmalbec34]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Mr Moving was great
He came over so happy and bubbly and like a real happy chatty bloke. Sensitive but also funny and silly and someone who has a big heart.
I don’t think he’s a narc he’s very insecure. He sees and hears things in my words and actions that are not there. He over thinks everything

And I am allergic to that 😂

I cant sympathise cos I'm needy and an over thinker at times 😂 but I dont think its warranted in ur situation, taking him out to see friends and meet ur daughter etc, that should calm him down, not make him more needy!

Hope you're OK shit I've felt quite emotional today and missing my dc also. Hate that his affair means I miss out on my dc.
Menora I think insecure too rather than narc, it does sound quite exhausting. If there's good bits about him you could see if it settled as you got more comfortable together I suppose.
I want to tell MrY that I love him but I can't seem to get the words out. I've had the perfect moment a few times and just daren't. Maybe a barrier I need to work on breaking down!

I keep getting messages from Mr climber. An iron I matched with before my self imposed purdah. He's very sweet wave very keen despite me pointing out I was an emotional mess. Was going offline. Want interested in a relationship and had a fwb already so he'd only ever be a back up fwb.

Oh well. I reply if I can be arsed and leave it if I can't. He was warned. It's not like I'm ghosting or benching him unbeknownst to him

Some men like the chase/challenge. Be wary, keep your boundaries intact.

Dickface due any second and I have heavily spiked an innocent looking hot chocolate for myself. God bless Bailey's and the friend who gave me the bottle!

Merry fucking Christmas bitches

Don't know about others but I can't wait for xmas to be over.

I asked out the other iron and haven't had a reply. I'd rather that though than wondering, be nice if he was upfront though.

I'm on my way to the theatre with my kids, Mr Ad has collected his hire car to come over tomorrow and all is well (for now).

I hope everyone has a great Christmas, whoever you are spending it with or if you are on your own. I may be with Mr Ad tomorrow evening but he doesn't like Gavin and Stacy so swings and roundabouts...😂

Eat loads of food, drink lots of drink and remember...it's just a day x

I'm trying to enjoy Xmas with the kids and tbh I am- I'm having a good time with them. Have opened the Buck's Fizz already and am stuffing my face.

I'm having conversations with a couple of guys atm. One I've matched with several times before- I'm not sure if he just wants a convenient FWB. I've made it clear I'm not doing that.

To those who won’t have their DC with them at Christmas, big big hugs. It’s a bittersweet time at best when a family has broken up, horrible at worst. I am in awe of the resilience and good humour of you all, you are my inspiration. I mean that 💝

Yes Merry Christmas to all of us.

Bailey's in coffee tastes like a mocha btw. Bucks fizz sounds like a good plan too!

I love Christmas but also love it when it’s over 🤣, I’m just sat here stuffing myself with food and I hate gaining weight, I have my kids until Friday and I’m lucky to have them every Christmas, their dad puts no effort in all year so there’s no way he’s getting them for Christmas. I’m hopefully seeing Mr Beard on Friday after I have been to the gym to start working off the mince pies and chocolates 🤣

Merry Christmas to all of you amazing people. Hugs to those of you who are struggling. And @NoMoreWeepingAndWanking leave out Lego for your snake ex to stand on and then make him take his shoes off in your house. Twat. Off to cinema and dinner with the DC soon, apps paused, WhatsApp muted. Any irons still around in the New Year will be reviewed then. Raising a 🥂 to you all xxx

My kids have just gone to their dads. I’m crying. He gave me a gift from the kids. I hadn’t done so as he is an abusive wanker who is dragging me through court again. Now I feel sad and guilty.

Off out with the best man I know (my bro in law) for a few pints and then heading to my mums.

Merry Xmas lovely people. New decade before we know it. Hang in there xxx

Marlbs x He's still an abusive wanker and you are still ace.

Hairy Christmas to you all ;) Especially @shitwithsugaron going through all the immediate throes of her breakup

I blushed a bit at all your sex chat. But can answer one question about why blokes go on and on sometimes. The answer being the booze which often plays a part in those first encounters. Too much and it may not quite work, but even small amounts seem to make things go on longer than normal.

I'm not feeling christmassy at all, and feel I am being grumpy around the kids.

I hope you all have a good Christmas - I love the 'it's just a day' sentiment.
I had a big row with my DD, totally not her fault, and have been grumpy too @bangheadhere40
@shitwithsugaron sending you , it sounds hard for you.
@Menora - I agree, he sounds exhausting.
@TheDevilsPedicure - enjoy your bucks fizz and may good things come your way
@Marlboroandmalbec34 - my ex buys me gifts, in my mind it doesn't undo what he did to our marriage, I try to look at it as my DD seeing an act of kindness from him, and that can't be a bad thing.
And to everyone else, too
I used to love Christmas and have tried to find new things to celebrate each year, but it still hurts, and this is my 6th year just me and DD. The memories of past years and the sadness of what could or should have been can be tough.
I was hurt by my ex around Christmas one year, and can't ever forget feeling scared, no matter how much therapy or healing I have gone through. I spent years - a strong, independent, educated, funny and hard working woman - being emotionally and at times physically hurt...and It sounds as if many of us survived abusive marriages ...
Let's raise a glass of Baileys, wine, tea, hot chocolate, whatever, to being us, and in charge of our own choices in 2020.
I haven't been on this thread much, or for all that long, but it has given me insight, laughs, hope and gratitude too. Thank you

Merry Christmas to us all, and special thoughts to those on their own without their children.

Mr BC has just told me he'll be on his own tomorrow (he had said he was with his SDC). I keep saying he can come over. Don't know why he didn't tell me though 😕 And younger (but still adult) DS is struggling very badly with his mental health and I'm not certain he will turn up tomorrow.

@Menora. I will admit I am insecure and an over thinker but I don’t let it show and I wouldn’t say anything. He needs to chill or go, but saying he should chill will make him worse

Merry Christmas one and all, esp to those without their kids. I just watched Elf with my exH and DCs and put them to bed and I have to say it's a lot better with another adult around. Which is sad. As there won't be one in the foreseeable. I hadn't realised just how much easier...

I just need dd to sleep. Bring the pressies down and have a wine and a fag then bed.

Unambiguous... I have stbx here. Apparently he's staying over tonight. I just haven't got the will power to argue. It's free sad with him here but it's fucking sad without him too. I keep thinking 'gosh this is nice' and then remembering it's all bullshit. I'm finding myself asking myself what was so awful about our life together that it was worth putting all for of use through what we've been through these last 3 months.
The kids were happy enough this morning but they kept checking in with me about what the plans were and when were we seeing daddy etc then lots of anxiety right before daddy got here. Lots of clingy behaviour when he got here. It's obviously bothering them and it makes me so sad.

I'm so tired and so sad. Trying really hard to keep my sense of humour. Found Mr Pilates' website including a lovely photo of him in plank which I've downloaded to amuse myself and remind me that at least I have a distraction to look forward to.

Luckily my period is due in 4 days so I have zero libido. Saves me being tormented by that too, anyway.

In terms of sex I've only had two men since the split. One was very attentive at first but I couldn't come due to anxiety and the actual sex was dreadful. Jackrabbit pounding and over rather fast. Each time after he seemed to get faster. I half wonder if he ended it due to humiliation at his poor performance

Mr Pilates went on for two hours. All rather vigorous. But it was what I wanted and needed and there had been a quite kinky build up for a long while beforehand... I'll have to feed back what next time is like but I suspect he'd do slow and sensual too if that's what the mood was. He was certainly very responsive (picking up on non verbal cues) and tactile. Lots of stroking and massaging and touch. The benefits of a Pilates instructor as a lover?