Dating thread 177. Drinking Prosecco on our own trying to arrange a christmas snog

[Marlboroandmalbec34]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

That's the one, shitwith! FOTTFSOF as they say.

I'm so glad it wasn't just me who slept with someone quickly after my marriage ended. It was definitely an ownership over my body sort of thing, along with the tattoos and drinking and occasional smoking. It's my life to do what I want with, but I had to try stuff out before making that decision. Luckily I've never been unsafe, although I was very, very vulnerable in the beginning and could have had a much worse time of things. I wouldn't change anything, but I won't be putting myself in that situation again in the future. If things go south with Mr G I don't think I'll have that same feeling of wanting to erase him from my physical memory. Happier not to think along those lines though.

@shitwithsugaron I've been feeling shit missing FWB today, I'm passed the not being able to eat stage and am now stuffing my face with wotsits and Yule log washed down with cider...

So chatting to lad on tinder, quite early in the conversation tells me he already has a gf. Out of curiosity I asked does she know he's on tinder. Admitted no. What a dick.

What a great read. Great to know we are all feeling the same
Split from exh 6 years ago sorted out someone for great sex met him twice. Got it out of my system!
Then had two bfs from OLD one for 4 yrs which has finished sadly.
Roll on the new year! Hate OLD may peruse the supermarket after work!
Good luck everyone keep posting xx

@TheDevilsPedicure is there no possibility that you and FWB can get together? You seem like you had a proper click, plus I'm a romantic!!

@Eesha he's seeing someone now 😩 she lives much closer to where he works. He's 3 hours away back home at the weekends though. I'm halfway between his hometown and where he works.

He's 22.... I suspect she's not a 31 year old single mum as well.

Is it really really wrong to hope it doesn't work out and that he'll get back in touch? He did once before....

Mr Moving has pissed me off tonight. I am worried that no matter what I do he will find an issue to be insecure about it .

My DC were home tonight, they are older teens and not met him yet. But he was saying he felt like he wasn’t going to see me as we are both busy at Christmas. DD1 has been ill with a virus for weeks and is making a fuss about a ‘really sore throat’ so I am thinking how am I going to get her to the GP now it’s the day before Xmas I can’t not go to work and then I have to pack up my car and drive to my Dsis picking DM up on the way

I went to his the night before and left at 11pm, I can never sleep over as I have WORK IN THE AM and DC at home and a dog. I also had to pick up DD1 from her work do (she’s nearly 18 but not driving)

I worked all day then I felt like I should invite him over to watch a film, as he had been a bit whiny, but then I remembered had also been invited out with my friends so I offered to drive to friends with Mr Moving as I’m working tomorrow and I have So Much To Fucking Do. I also haven’t seen my friends for ages and this was originally planned with friends a while back. He meets DC briefly then we go out

Friends were a bit pissed but good fun we stayed 2 hours then came home got some snacks and put a film on. I immediately fell asleep . He reluctantly called a cab and I could feel he wanted to stay - no way, kids in the house barely know him! And I have work! And it’s now Xmas eve! And when he left he let my cat out, who immediately got set upon by the local Tom and I have only just got back from yanking her out from under a car in my PJ’s. The dog was a total PITA and kept getting over excited as a man in the house and pissed on the carpet

But now he thinks my DC don’t like him, that I didn’t want him here and he’s not sure my friends like him. I don’t care! I facilitated an extra evening with him and I wish I had said no now. All I have done is now stay up till 1am I have muddy knees, dog piss on the floor, work tomorrow and an ill DC 😭

He’s not got his DC till Boxing Day, so he’s got a couple of days with just his mum and brother and I get the impression that yet again I have found myself a needy one. I’m so annoyed with myself about this. How does this happen? Why am I always the one who is running herself ragged and end up with these part time dads who have 5 days a week to feel lonely

Is it only.me picking crap irons but why do men put up pics of them.that are 5 or 10 years old as profile pics and then get upset when u bring it up?My profile picture are all 4 months max old so show me as a 45 year old size 20 .So fed up with people who haven't got the confidence to be them .. Hope 2020 brings the right person..
Re sex it took me 4 plus years to have sex with someone new but have now got the taste back for good sex hopefully will get more of it .....

@Menora he sounds like hard work And you’ve not know him very long at all really. I think I said this before but those insecurities he has will only get worse

Ugh. Spent all night dreaming about my stbx. As if it's not bad enough spending half today and all tomorrow with him now I've got him matching around my fucking subconscious during the night. Arsehole.

I know. The way He makes me feel is just so subtle though that I am not sure if I am imagining them. But I don’t think I am. I can tell he’s all uptight. Then he will ask for reassurance. So I find myself going in depth about things explaining stuff

He’s like ‘it’s a shame you can never stay’ - I’ve had sex with you, what more do you want
‘I’ve not had many girls want to leave after sex. Hahaha’ - not sure it’s a joke
‘Hopefully one day your DC will like me’ - (never said they didn’t, they don’t know you?)
‘Have your friends text you what did they think of me, hope I didn’t embarrass you’ - why would you? He seems to think that I would feel that way it’s not based on anything I’m aware of
‘Sorry if the DC felt uncomfortable when I was round’ - again why does he think this? He wasn’t here very long they were upstairs

He was put out that I fell asleep I think

Also although he says he doesn’t go out on the lash, I can tell he wants to go out on the lash with me. And I’ve told him I’m not a going out on the lash person. Drink makes me sleepy. He always drinks a little bit when I see him - even indoors and I am always driving. We went on a day out to London and he wanted to carry on partying and drinking into the night and I was like nope, I’m gonna fall asleep in the actual pub soon. If you want a party girl it’s not me!

@Menora this would piss me off loads, he's definitely a needy one I think. All the comments, the stuff about your DC liking him, staying over etc. It's all really self centred and childish.

I know I know I am not imagining it. I’m super pissed off with myself. At least I get a few days break from thinking about it all with a legit excuse as to why I am not seeing him

I also noticed when we was with my friends instead of just telling a quick funny story he always has to have a back story too. Which makes the story not funny anymore

Rule 13 Menora. Rule 13

I just don't think it should feel as much hard work @Menora. Stbxh was insecure in the early days. I had to reassure him that yes I wanted to be with him, yes he was good enough, yes I wanted to spend time with him. You made a real effort to spend an extra evening with him and if it were me I'd be pissed off that it wasn't enough for him.

@Menora he sounds like a bit of a pain! Did you get any good stuff from seeing him last night?

I honestly don’t know. I feel upset that I clearly made a huge effort - he met my friends and DC, but at the end of the night he still felt disappointed? It will never be enough and I will end up hating him

He will make you feel like you have another child I think, not a partner. Think his behaviour was poor actually, you deserve better.

@TheDevilsPedicure ah ok, the distance would kill it for me I think. He sounds great but there will be many lovelier people nearer by I'm sure.