Dating thread 177. Drinking Prosecco on our own trying to arrange a christmas snog

[Marlboroandmalbec34]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

I'm feeling abit unsettled today,due to some strange texts from the real life man who asked for my number last week. Very arrogant is all I can say. Texts like ' I bet you didnt think I'd txt' . Last night I got ' shame I didnt see you at work on Friday,I wanted to give you a big kiss'.
I thought he seemed quite normal when I spoke to him but whoever said he was after sex,its true.

My sons dad is over in a bit,to give son his presents. T was meant to be tomorrow but apparently his partner is working today so today suits him.I've bent over backwards for this man over the last ten years and now I'm feeling overwhelming anger and resentment. But ive got to keep it in for son. Need to take a breath. @
I also need to review his maintanance,though I know it's not the time. He pays me pittance for what he earns but whenever I've brought the child maintanance service thing and the figures online,he gets angry. Says he wont pay for extras if I do. I think I need to do it in January but not sure what's stopping me( he is self employed but works for a company,so I'm thinking he could fiddle books I suppose).

@unambiguousbeard we know you didn't but anyone would have to have a heart of stone to not be moved by that. You're a strong woman 💐

It is recent and very hard because we were constantly speaking every single day and we are genuinely good friends too. I really miss the friendship. I keep thinking shall I text to say happy Christmas but I'm not going to do it. I would look pathetic and lonely and I don't want him to know that I am 😂😂😂

It does. I mean for all intents and purposes we were like bf/gf for 5 months. We were just so comfortable around eachother and it was always fun. Sometimes I really want to know why it couldn't be more. I think the truth would hurt though.

When I got the new tattoos I was desperate to show him. I remember when first got back in touch in July walking to the pub wearing a low back dress and he was walking behind me rubbing my shoulders saying how he'd missed the tattoo down my back. God so many moments I miss

I am actually surprised by the number of men who have never had slow, sensual sex. Not like tired sex when you first wake up, just slow and really intimate. Then when I have sex with them like that, their tiny minds are blown . Hopefully my one legacy is that I made a man or 2 better at sex for the next woman 😂

Ah @shitwithsugaron that feeling is grim. I couldn't eat for days when it ended with FWB, felt so sick. No wonder they call it heartbreak, my chest felt awful. I was surprised just how bad I felt despite knowing this would happen.

I can't really think of a bad memory with him. Well just the sadness I used to get that I didn't get longer with him. So many times I got close to telling him and I never did. I never wanted to end up looking desperate when in the past I wouldn't have given a fuck. Old me would have told him I had feelings, that fuck the circumstances we could still work. Thinking about it I think he would have liked a bit more fire . Why did I hide that side of me?

Menora I’m in search of someone who knows what tantric sex is. Have met so many men who think woman want it hard and fast 🤣. I think porn has ruined many men. Mr skinny was 2 minutes of 4 play, no oral and then over an hour of boring sex (I could have fell asleep).

Shit I bleed a lot too and in between periods but have got the all clear from STI’s, I think mines due to erosion after taking the pill for so long , when I come off the pill it’s a lot better but I don’t want to be off the pill.

@TheDevilsPedicure

You have just said everything I'm feeling.

6 months together, and his last email ended with Take care...

I want to reply, but there's no point.

I want to ask if he misses me, and I think he probably does, but there's no point

I want to be over him, and under someone else who deserves me more.

Def go get checked, but try not to worry about it. I think it’s quite common!

I’m not sure about tantric sex I think I would like it to be honest. I’m not massively energetic in bed, I’m all about the slow teasing build up. Which is why I try to look for men who are much more open to learning new things. With my ex it was very military and VERY long (hours) which I hated by the end. He would take care of my needs but because I knew once I came he would then want to pound at me for hours, I started losing the ability to have an orgasm with him. I actually find a grope, snogging and some dirty talk much bigger turn on, over in 30 mins max and then a cuddle I am fine 😂

Mr Moving basically lets me take all the lead which strangely is a bit of a turn on - I know he is enjoying me enjoying myself and helping me, and then when I am done I will do whatever position or speed he wants to do and luckily it then doesn’t take very long. He does seem to need to ‘pound’ to finish off but I am hoping over time he will learn how to finish without the pounding 😂

I have to say, Mr SAS was very good at slow, sensual sex. It sometimes went on a little too long but it was all about me.

Sex with Mr Ad is good but I don't think he's as experienced as Mr SAS was (which I like in some ways) so it's getting better and better as we get more and more comfortable with each other.

Men do not seem to understand what women have to work to get an orgasm in a completely different way. I find it hard to make mine happen without being in the right position without the right stimulation and then sometimes I have to really focus on the sensations. Not always, sometimes it happens without all of that but not often

Whereas a lot of men know they can come any time and hold onto it - which my ex did. He would stop himself from coming for so bloody long to prolong the sensation for himself - doesn’t matter that poor old me is being ragged raw in the meantime

@WanderingLost167 it's such a shit feeling 💐

I doubt mine is missing me, loved up with someone else. He's back home for Xmas which means he's technically alone atm, is it pathetic being slightly glad knowing at least he can't be shagging her over Xmas? 😂 god I need to grow up.

Hi all. So as predicted in my sport bra and a fanny that's not been waxed in weeks....I ended up back at his. All your terrible sex stories were a rendition of last nights events sadly. I thought he might be different....a more sensitive male, they usually pay attention. Nope. It was dreadful. I left at 3. Thonk my days of shagging randoms is over.

@Menora all men really have to do is pay attention and a passing interest in basic cues. To me whether it's a one night stand or a ltr paying attention to the person you're in bed with is the entire point of actually jumping in the sack in the first place. I can have an orgasm alone, having it with someone else means I'm interested in doing the same for them. Not just masturbating with their body

@TheDevilsPedicure

Mine is with his wife. I know pretty much for sure he won't be shagging her...

Yes, I'm a terrible person. But I'm ending my marriage and I won't ever have another affair, and I don't want him back if he's still married

@supercali77
The ones I can give myself are completely different to the ones I can have with a partner. But using someone as a glory hole is sadly so bloody common it boils my blood. Would they even think to ask if you are enjoying it? Or look at your face?

@WanderingLost167 no judgement here. Yeah it's not the best but I've learnt over the years that things just aren't black and white. It's not simple or straightforward.

I just want to forget about FWB now. I've actually been ok, it's just after a couple of poor dates and it being so close to Xmas and no hope of a decent shag anytime soon I'm a bit fed up and my mind goes back to him.

If only the first date last week had FWB's confidence and kissing skills. I couldn't even be arsed to shag him, based on the kissing it wouldn't have been good. He did that thing of literally just locking lips and shoving his tongue in my mouth, not moving lips at all. Yuck. Sorry @supercali77 sounds like you had similar last night! Ah well he wasn't worth the pain of waxing anyway! 😂

Ugh I hate it when there is no tongue. I need tongue!!!

Please oh please let’s not put up with selfish sexual partners! I mean what is the bloody point?

Rule for 2020 no selfish sex partners!

@WanderingLost167 I like a bit of tongue too but not literally just shoved in my mouth with literally no breathing, movement of lips. It was so bad I actually laughed- I hope he didn't realise!