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Original poster

Dating a man 20 years younger.

120 replies

Heidi3333 · 13/12/2019 11:01

Hi there just looking for opinions.
I'm 44, single, have a 3 year old girl and work with a guy wjo is 24. We
Get on v well and I think he is gorgeous 😍 He's single too. A few of my colleagues think he likes me and he once told one of them he'd like to take me to the movies one night. He has also messaged me a few times asking if I'd like to go for drinks and I said I would but he never followed through on that. I'm not sure if he meant as works drinks or just me and him.

If he wasn't so young I'd have no reservations to date him but every time someone mentions how well we get on in front of us both
I laugh it off saying I'm old enough to be his mother! I think that perhaps that's what is putting him off pursuing anything?

He is leaving to work in another department soon and I'm really going to miss him.

Has anyone any experience of dating a man much younger? Can such an age gap ever truly work?

OP posts:
Cream5 · 13/12/2019 11:06

I guess it depends what your expectations are?

forumdonkey · 13/12/2019 11:23

I wouldn't, but I can't see the attraction to someone old enough to be my son without the added complications of working together.

MMadness · 13/12/2019 11:28

FWB only.

Fuck the haters. Age gap? Meh.

No expectations and great distraction. Fun times.

Musti · 13/12/2019 11:52

Only as a fwb but I wouldn't go there tbh.

NameChangeNugget · 13/12/2019 11:54

Just go for it OP.

Life’s too short

PersephoneOP · 13/12/2019 12:02

If you both like each other and are single go for it?

Plenty of men make dating a younger woman work, and you can just enjoy yourself and see where it goes, don't stress too much about the future right now.

SunshineAngel · 13/12/2019 12:03

I'm in an age gap relationship of 21 years. Only been together for 2.5 years so far, but there haven't really been any issues (though we were both worried there would be at the start). I'm the younger one though, and I think it is more common for younger girls to go out with older men, for some reason.

ComtesseDeSpair · 13/12/2019 12:03

For a relationship, no. I’m sure there are exceptions but most 24-year-old men aren’t ready to settle down and take on a step parent role to somebody else’s small child, and I think pretty soon the differences between your maturity levels and lifestyles are going to become apparent. By all means ask him out on a date if you’re attracted to him and pursue something casual, but I very much doubt it’s going to end up as anything else.

Honeybee85 · 13/12/2019 12:03

Maybe he likes older women?
There’s plenty of guys like that.

I would just go on a date with him and see from there where it goes.

goodluckdontdie · 13/12/2019 12:23

Everyone's gonna say "you're at different life stages", "he'll be too immature", etc.

Personally I don't see why not date someone and see how it goes. Plenty of people your own age end up being not right for you too. You date them, if they're not right, then you find out and end it. So what's the harm?

Desolate2nite · 13/12/2019 12:43

Go for it 😍 I have and it's great

Original poster
Heidi3333 · 13/12/2019 12:48

Thanks for the replies. Thought provoking!

Desolate- reveal more!

OP posts:
Desolate2nite · 13/12/2019 12:56

Should have name changed because I'm definitely not desolate 😂 I'm 53 and he's 34 and gorgeous. I'm enjoying myself after a very bad relationship with a man who was 15 years older than me. Even if it doesn't last it has worked wonders for my confidence. First time I've dated someone younger, I was wary, but it's great. Completely straightforward and no mind games x

Cheeseandwin5 · 13/12/2019 12:58

Just have fun and enjoy it.
Why worry about what the future will be, that can be a conversation for when and if your relationship has reached a more substantial stage and even then only if you want to.

Tighnabruaich · 13/12/2019 13:22

I've dated a guy 15 years younger than me. I knew it wouldn't go anywhere, but what a fabulous summer I had with him, fun, laughs, and what a confidence boost! We bade a fond farewell in the autumn and I really think we brought something special into each other's lives at that time, and we both benefited from it.
Meanwhile, my best friend is married to a guy 19 years younger than her, and they've been together 20 years now.

Tighnabruaich · 13/12/2019 13:26

I should add, he was 25 and I was 40.

Original poster
Heidi3333 · 13/12/2019 17:14

Thanks for the replies.

I think I'll try a little flirting and see how he responds. I'll also remind him that he's asked me out for drinks and see if follows through!

Many of you are right. It doesn't necessarily have to lead anywhere or be a huge romance. Just some dating and see where things lead...

OP posts:
Intheheat · 13/12/2019 22:48

Just as long as you don't get hurt when he decides he wants something serious and goes on to replace you with someone much younger who can give him marriage, children etc. This happened to me (him 37 me 50) and although we had a fantastic time together it stung a bit when he announced he had a new young and fertile woman in his life. So, have fun but don't get too attached.

Cherrygirl3 · 13/12/2019 23:09

Yep, go for it op. Life IS too short to always wonder. Just bear in mind that it may not be forever...but who knows?

misspiggy19 · 13/12/2019 23:10

I wouldn't, but I can't see the attraction to someone old enough to be my son without the added complications of working together.

^This. If you are happy to be mistaken for his mum when out and about by all means carry on.

StarlightLady · 14/12/2019 06:31

The age gap wouldn’t bother me, but it would be dependent on what you are looking for. If you are looking for a long term settled relationship, you may wish to consider carefully. Especially, if you work directly with him.

I’ve has sex (in my 40s) with someone in their very early 20s but had no long term expectations. It didn’t last but we had some fun times and went to some nice places together.

Windmillwhirl · 14/12/2019 07:28

This. If you are happy to be mistaken for his mum when out and about by all means carry on.

Not everyone lives their lives dictated by what other people think. That sounds quite pathetic.

Enjoy op, but be realistic about expectations.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 14/12/2019 07:41

Nothing wrong with having fun dating, but be realistic about it. He might want children in the future and that could be complicated if things got serious between you.

Fairylea · 14/12/2019 07:50

I think the only thing that would worry me is that at his age he may well want to settle down and have children at some point, even if he thinks he doesn’t now. And then of course even if you do stay together long term things might feel different when you’re 80 something and he’s 60 something...

But that’s me thinking very long term! In the short term the sex would be great probably. Grin

Sandals19 · 14/12/2019 07:57

Sorry to be so blunt but the odds are very high that he'll dump you to go out with a woman/women closer to his age sooner or later so if you're ok with that, go ahead and have fun.

But it sounds like be hasn't followed through on anything so it's theoretical so far anyway.