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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating a man 20 years younger.

120 replies

Heidi3333 · 13/12/2019 11:01

Hi there just looking for opinions.
I'm 44, single, have a 3 year old girl and work with a guy wjo is 24. We
Get on v well and I think he is gorgeous 😍 He's single too. A few of my colleagues think he likes me and he once told one of them he'd like to take me to the movies one night. He has also messaged me a few times asking if I'd like to go for drinks and I said I would but he never followed through on that. I'm not sure if he meant as works drinks or just me and him.

If he wasn't so young I'd have no reservations to date him but every time someone mentions how well we get on in front of us both
I laugh it off saying I'm old enough to be his mother! I think that perhaps that's what is putting him off pursuing anything?

He is leaving to work in another department soon and I'm really going to miss him.

Has anyone any experience of dating a man much younger? Can such an age gap ever truly work?

OP posts:
Heidi3333 · 14/12/2019 11:07

Fairylea- yes I think the sex would be good 😋 Advantage to dating a much younger man I'd imagine.

Do people think he sounds interested though?

OP posts:
Ginger1982 · 14/12/2019 11:24

Hmm, I'm 37 and the idea of a 24 year old does nothing for me, but then I've always preferred older men!

Nothing to stop you having some fun but I probably wouldn't view it as a long term relationship so I would be careful with your feelings.

Takethebullbth · 14/12/2019 12:19

Keep any ideas of long term relationship out of your head, but hell yeah, if you get the chance, just enjoy the sex.

HamAndPineapple · 14/12/2019 12:22

All my relationships end. I'd say go for it in a real way if you know you will be able for it to end when it's run it's course, as it will.

HamAndPineapple · 14/12/2019 12:23

What I mean is, you're both young enough to still be at the same stage of life in 1 year to 2 years!

I'd go in to it with that knowledge.

FruitcakeOfHate · 14/12/2019 12:23

Nope. Think that's too big a gap, no matter what the sexes involved, and quite frankly, gross. I'm 49.

Missillusioned · 14/12/2019 12:30

I would date him and have dated men with a similar gap. Just be aware however that there are large numbers of young men with Milf on their sexual bucket list. They will not have a relationship with you.
Only go there if you're confident you can still work with him after you've slept with him and he's then backed off

Jiggles101 · 14/12/2019 12:33

I think the fact your work colleagues is more of a barrier than the age gap tbh.

Best not to shit where you eat.

forumdonkey · 14/12/2019 12:33

I don't think anyone is addressing the fact that you work together. If things don't work out and the odds of a long term relationship is low given the age gap, are you ready and prepared to see him every day moving on with a 20 something woman?

We see heartbroken posters devistated by relationship break ups and how much harder is that seeing them every day?

Crystal87 · 14/12/2019 12:37

I would not go with a man that young and I'm 32. To me it would feel like a waste of time as its unlikely to go anywhere, but if theres no expectations then I guess there's no harm.

RhinoskinhaveI · 14/12/2019 12:40

Id be worried that he was just wanting to tick the 'have sex with woman old enough to be my mother' box, but I would be interested if the sex was good
if it wasn't I don't think I'd see the point🤷🏼‍♀️

MaidenMotherCrone · 14/12/2019 12:41

For fun....if that floats your boat.

Looking for a relationship....... no.

I expect you'd have plenty to chat about with his Mum though. I'd be surprised if she was impressed though. I wouldn't be.

If you were a man you'd get ripped to shreds here.

MaidenMotherCrone · 14/12/2019 12:45

Interestingly I overheard a conversation on this topic between a group of similar aged young men.....much laughing and 'oh well any hole's a goal'. Gross. Food for thought though.

BilboBercow · 14/12/2019 12:47

Tbh I'd judge a man in his 40s dating woman in her 20s.

MaeveDidIt · 14/12/2019 12:47

I wouldn't and I think you'll get hurt in the end.
Also you would be stunting what he should be doing as a young lad at this time of his life, and there's always a price to pay on both sides for that given time.
I'd be really pissed off if I was his mother.

goodluckdontdie · 14/12/2019 13:03

I dated someone much younger for a while and got the mum comments a LOT. Never bothered us. If anything it was funny. We liked each other so what people thought didn't really matter.

Heidi3333 · 14/12/2019 13:06

He's leaving work in a few weeks so that wouldn't be a problem.
MaeveDidit - yeah I don't think his mother would be v impressed with me 😂

OP posts:
FruitcakeOfHate · 14/12/2019 13:14

So would I, Bilbo.

Littlemeadow123 · 14/12/2019 13:14

High Jackman is a good chunk younger than his wife (about 13 years I think). And it has worked for them. They have been married nearly 25 years.

Littlemeadow123 · 14/12/2019 13:14

Hugh Jackman. Stupid spellcheck.

RhinoskinhaveI · 14/12/2019 13:16

how would view the situation if the genders were reversed?

MrsMigginsTheOriginal · 14/12/2019 13:21

If I were his mother I would be horrified.

OmniversalsTapdancingTadpole · 14/12/2019 13:26

Personally i would not date or have sex with someone who is young enough to be my child or old enough to be a parent.

Just does not feel right to me.

Jaguarana · 14/12/2019 13:27

I have a 24 year old & I'd be horrified if he was dating someone almost my age. Not that it'd be any of my business and I'd say nothing, but privately I'd be horrified.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 14/12/2019 14:38

@MrsMigginsTheOriginal it wouldn't be any of your business though would it? He's 24, not 16.