Dating thread 176 - where we get through Christmas with team carpark updates

[NoMoreWeepingAndWanking]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Not caught up properly yet but just wanted to send to NoMore and say I totally get what you're saying about just wanting to drop everything and walk out. I'm a few months ahead of you in terms of separation and haven't felt like that for a while but when that urge came it was strong and I felt terribly guilty as I do adore my dc but it can be so bloody hard on your own. I had the opportunity to jump on a plane and disappear for a few days and I actually got my passport out, but couldn't do it in the end. Dc needed consistency and at the time, that was me. It's a big responsibility though, to put it lightly, and it weighed down on me sometimes that I'm so "relied on" to be the normal and the stable, like I was desperately trying to hold it all together. As time has gone on though, I thrive on it. I love that I'm the comfort, I'm the "home" and when the shit hits the fan, my dc only want me because I am the fixer. And that's empowering to me.
Anyway I'll stop my ramble now and just chime in to say Menora yes primark have some beautiful matching sets with no underwire

I was thinking last night I was doing all
The Christmas stuff alone but then thinking back I always did ! And it’s easier not having a man child and his shitty family to buy for and pander to.

@NoMoreWeepingAndWanking I hope you are feeling better about things and he is just a poor communicator which isn’t great but you would be able to come to a compromise if you entered a relationship I’m sure.

Did you find out what you are doing tomorrow ?

I have no idea of Sunday time or plans for my date yet 🤷🏼‍♀️. Which is killing me 😂 but I’m not asking. I think mr gray sees me like a mate he’s arranging to go for a pint with or something

@NoMoreWeepingAndWanking I agree with @notcoolmum fwiw. In my limited experience - if it's this tricky and uncertain - no good comes of it. Maybe go on the date Sat and then reassess

I'm glad to see some really positive updates on here: divorces (isn't it amazing how that becomes a positive at some point in the process?), houses finally selling, boyfriend/girlfriend statuses, declarations of love. 😁

And sorry to everyone else who's still enduring the crappy bits of OLD. It's definitely not easy. And particularly to @shitwithsugaron - you know exactly what I think about how MrB has treated you. He never deserved you.

My (quick) update is that we are (finally) moving. On Tuesday actually although the movers are currently here packing everything because Monday was fully booked. So we're going away for the weekend rather than staying in an almost empty house. We're currently dreadfully overcrowded so it'll be so great to have enough space.

I'm 8 weeks along now too. I've got my booking in appointment on Monday. I'm feeling like crap with it; I really don't enjoy merciless nausea in the least. Ah well, I knew what I was getting myself in to and it will pass.

I have worn hold ups (from M&S) with my suspender belt so I guess double security but hadn't thought to wear knickers over the top rather than underneath...will try that next time Mr Ad is in for a treat

I actually despise wearing tights as they are so uncomfortable and unflattering if you are getting naked with someone. If I were getting naked with a woman and she stripped down to her tick, black tights, I would find it a massive turn off I think!

Great news @WooMaWang!

Thanks @Sunshineandflipflops.

I love how this thread has posts about big life events, all sorts of hard and emotional stuff and then practical advice about pants and suspenders. 😂

Personally I wear tights all winter (I'm currently sporting orange ones) and go bare legged in the summer. MrSG doesn't seem to find tights in the least offputting. That said, I'm certain he'd have precisely no objections to stockings and suspenders.

Morning everyone,I'm back.

Six months of no dating and no apps and was very nice and relaxing. But decided to get back out there last week and have got chatting to someone who appears lovely. We support the same footy team and he lives in that city,but I'm an hour away. Typical.

Last night son was brave and told his dad he never wants to stay again,due to his partner being very nasty( whispering under her breath,scowling at him and walking by and nudging him when he was playing pool so he lost....the lost goes on) anyway,it means I will have no kid free time. Hoping he may take him out for tea so I get the odd hour,but it's all abit raw.

I think I need a very local man ( not village man with his ropey sausages) but someone I can just pop to in the eve for an hour? Will start to walk the dog at different times and look out for men with dogs!

Really happy to hear all the great updates. And sending hugs to the ones struggling

@kerkyra Hello! Glad you've found the last 6 months beneficial.

What a brave lad you have. How old is he? I hope he told your ex why he doesn't want to go any more and that he seriously re-thinks his relationship with this horrible woman.

I can see why this will make meeting someone difficult for you but hopefully a lovely, understanding man will be out there for you.

Thank you sunshine, that meant alot.
He has just turned 12 with high functioning asd,everything fine apart from socially. I feel so sad for him but promised him he would never have to go back there again. He will miss her boys who are of similar age but he said it's fine.
To all those women out there with ex's who cant see a problem ( or can but are too scared to do anything incase it causes rows with the partner), you are doing a great job.

Sorry to get off the dating topic!

My pof man ( will call him Mr bluenose) is being so sweet in his messages and I've apologised he has caught me at a bad time,but he wants to meet. Not sure when but will keep you posted. Cant do more than one iron at a time so,with no expectations,will see

Sorry to harp on about the hold ups, but I put my Levante hold ups on this morning at around 5.30 am and they haven't budged! Never have to pull them up or adjust them. And pretty lace tops too ...

@kerkyra that’s awful
She is like that with your son and your ex isn’t doing anything. It would be preferable
She was distant with him rather than like that

OMG wooma I have missed your news! congratulations to you. What wonderful news. A thread baby :)

kerkya your boy sounds v brave and im glad you have had a goold OLD rest.

Batshit I will look at them, thank you. I am tall and have slim legs and they all just fall down on me. I much prefer hold ups to stockings

Ah I must be such a disappointment to men... I cycle everywhere and I can't imagine ever having the opportunity to wear stockings. The thought of cycling in stockings... just no!

@WooMaWang hopefully the MS won't get too awful and hopefully you've only got another month of it.

How did you get on @Marlboroandmalbec34 with messaging all your matches?

I'm locked out of tinder. It logged me out and the burner sim I used has stopped working. There wasn't really anyone I was that interested in so I guess it doesn't matter. And I'll take it as a sign I should stop for a while as I wasn't enjoying it. Although the thought of swiping through all those men again isn't appealing in the least.. I can feel my mojo slowly returning though.

You had a burner sim @unambiguousbeard ??

Evening all,
I have been solely but lurking & trying to catch up..
I have been totally fed up, chatting to men away from the site who suddenly go silent & their profiles disappear online- I’m guessing they have coupled up & don’t think to tell me??
I am, however, meeting someone for a second date tonight, he was the one who I cancelled on as he’d told a lie re location & then I met...he’s nice, not my immediate type & lives 90 mins away which is stupid for me to consider, but you never know. He’s coming to mine for dinner, I have had a crazy week...have checked him out, he’s all ok etc . On our first date he arrived with a massive bag of popcorn for me ( I love pop corn & would eat it for a meal), so he shall be Mr Popcorn.
I deleted chats from everyone else as they were just slow & not v interesting, then faded.
I seem to be getting ‘likes’ from much older men, and those who are abroad or at the other end of the country. I’ve been doing this for nearly 2 months and already feel jaded!!
I’ll update this evening...

Ps- I have substantial thighs, and not v toned ones at that, have always shied away from holdups due to over spill and rubbing (lovely!) any suggestions for accommodating ones ??

• I have been silent...

I have a date at Mr Mountain‘s house in Sunday, he’s cooking me Sunday lunch probably in exchange for a shag. Probably my only chance of getting sex this year 🤣

I have another iron but I’m holding back as I’m sure he told me a while ago that he split with his ex wife after he cheated on her (but that may have been someone else, my memory isn’t great) but he might be ok as a FWB.

Mr Beard has bin shed again, I know he stayed up late last night watching the elections and was planing on having today off but he could have arranged to meet for a coffee, now he’s not answering texts.

New iron on POF, Mr Camper, hopefully I can chat him up and meet him after Christmas.

I’m now worrying about underwear 🤔

His teacher now aware as apparently he cried at school and told her his dads gf was being emotionally abusive and he had to write a report. And have had a call from teacher asking what's going on. She was really sweet and said keep him away from her and maybe prepare for a life of a flaky father as she has been there.

So I'm a real catch at the moment. Mr bluenose doesnt want to hear me go on about it and as it's the biggest thing going on at the moment,I dont really feel like small talk.so I haven't messaged. And I could do with a hug,not a bloke ive never met and who lives miles away! I'm also getting cat bum lines round my mouth with all my stress vaping and not looking very attractive lol.
Anyway, thanks for letting me vent. Ex has rang twice but I'm not picking up.need a day or two to digest.
Good luck to all those with dates at the weekend with your stockings! I know I don't post much but this thread really is so supportive

I did @Notcoolmum Just don't ask. The reason is really dull but really long winded. I'm not hiding anything just couldn't create another account on my own number. I managed to get back into my account. Not sure why I bothered tbh.

Bloody useless dads. I'm sorry @kerkyra it sounds horrible for him. Thank god he has a lovely mum (and a lovely teacher)

@Lovemusic33 ive always been surprised how little attention my underwear has gotten. I wear tights not suspenders or hold ups. The underwear is usually not on long enough to be noticed.

No current irons. Wish I had someone to meet to notice my underwear right now!!

Snap re tights and snap the irons @Notcoolmum

Don't worry, one will be along soon...

I've never worn stockings or anything before...just tights when I have to but Mr Ad mentioned stockings so I thought I'd get some and give them a go and it was very much appreciated, which I benefited from 😁